Farmers Last Will and Testament...

   / Farmers Last Will and Testament... #1  

JohnMiller3

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2001
Messages
2,518
Location
Capital District, Upstate New York
Tractor
Satoh S650G, MF135, MF165, JD5205
Here’s a favorite of mine I found on my older hard drive I was cleaning up…


Farmers Last Will and Testament


A Farmer's Will

TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.

TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.

TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He'll need it if he continues to farm
as he has in the past.

TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next
year anyway.

TO THE FARM ADVISOR: 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the
market. I never did.

TO THE JUNK MAN: All my machinery. He's had his eye on it for years.

TO MY UNDERTAKER: A special request. I want six implement and
fertilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They're used to carrying me.

TO THE WEATHERMAN: Rain, sleet, and snow for the funeral please. No
sense having good weather now.

TO THE GRAVEDIGGER: Don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big
enough.

TO THE MONUMENT MAKER: For the epitaph: "Here lies a farmer who has
now properly assumed all of his obligations."

~~ writer unknown…
 
   / Farmers Last Will and Testament... #2  
Boy isn't that the truth. I got a $4800 fertilizer bill today, up at 5am to cut oat hay this am, mower conditioner breaks at 8:30, can't get parts until tomorrow at 8am- have to ship from Kansas City, rain coming saturday so don't know if I'm going to get the hay made now before then, head up to the other barn to move some bales as I've already taken part of the morning off to do the hay and cows and horses are out as someone left the gate open, get to the office schedule here is a mess, dealer calls and says new tractor is here, call banker for another loan for the tractor.... and it's only 4:20!!!!!
 
   / Farmers Last Will and Testament... #3  
Doc:

You just gotta get organized and get those priorities in order.

Egon
 
   / Farmers Last Will and Testament... #4  
cowboydoc,
I hope your neighbor can help you while you're down. I'm sure you would help them. If you were closer I'd let you barrow a drum mower or disc mower to finish up with.
 
   / Farmers Last Will and Testament... #5  
CCI,

Thanks for your kindness. I wish you were a little closer. I left the clutch at deere last night and they had it ready for me at 7:30 this am. Now saturday get to try out the new tractor and baler as long as the rain holds out and hay dries.
 
   / Farmers Last Will and Testament... #6  
Richard:

You need to hitch up some of those horses. Add a forecart and a ground driven rake and you can fertilize while you do hay!! I have a couple extra harnesses and a few eveners, I can send them to you if you want?
 
 
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