Divorce Advice :-(

[foreman Etexas]

Well it looks like im going back to court again myself,over my son. This will be my 5th time in 9yrs. I hope yall can keep things civil between ya'll,I know my lawyer really well,and dont even get nervous anymore being in front of the judge. My lawyer is 250 an hour,after this one will be up around 30,000 he has got of my money,that would have been a good chunk for college and you know what they dont let you take lawyer fees off on taxes

 

[cdaigle430]

Hello Everyone,

I am not sure if this is the right forum or not to post this but I am just in some need of some input, My wife of 11 years has decided to divorce me, We just simply cannot go on any longer as a married couple due to our differences, I will always love her, and I hope we can remain great friends as we have been discussing for our 19 year old son and 8 year old daughter.

One of biggest concerns is my little girl, she is only 8 and loves our home and property, I am able to afford to keep the house that we currently live in with the property, we will be sharing custody and I will get to see her pretty much daily, I am just so so worried about how this will all effect her.

If anyone has been thru this mess before if you have any kind words or advice id really appreciate it, I feel like my world is crashing down around me

Thank You

Hi;
Sorry to hear that. Let your son and daughter know that you still love them no matter what and assure them that it was never her fault. As much as this can be a tragic for the adults, the children can have it worse. Keep your promises to them and be there for them as much as possible.

Changes like this are always difficult and that is what you are going through-just another change. Sadly around 41 to 43 percent of all marriages end in divorce, you are not alone.

 

[Redneck in training]

I am also divorced. The key is to maintain, as much as possible, good relationship with the ex. In no circumstances retaliate or use children to punish her. On the other hand don't give up anything you don't have to.
My wife is also divorced. When I moved to her house when the kids were still young I made a decision that I will love her kids no mater what and I am guessing she decided the same. We raised and put through college four kids together. Her two and my two. I still support my ex (I am not required to do so.) financially as I see fit. That is only possible because of both of us never severed ties to ex spouse families.
In my case I didn't have problems with my ex. but the children didn't talk to me for some time because I left their mother.

 

[Wayne County Hose]

If you love your kids more than you hate your ex, everything will be fine.

 

[foreman Etexas]

If you love your kids more than you hate your ex, everything will be fine.

Well Said!!!:thumbsup:

 

[Depmandog]

Hello Everyone,

..........,My wife of 11 years has decided to divorce me, We just simply cannot go on any longer as a married couple due to our differences, I will always love her, and I hope we can remain great friends as we ...............

Crikeys man, your opening statement says it all. "we" have some "differences"; you love her; you still want her in your life (I hope...great friends)

FIGHT FOR HER!!! You took a vow that presumably said Till Death Do You Part. Neither one of you is dying - so fight for her.

You didn't mention what the differences were - but said we have them, implying that you both understand what the problem is - FIGHT FOR HER.

You said you still live her, FIGHT FOR HER.

Listen, whatever the problem is, whether it's something you did, she did or you both did. It can be rectified by simply saying I was wrong I apologize or I forgive you or maybe it's all three that needs to be said. .

Marriage was designed to be a HOLY union between two people before God. I have been married 26 years - and like TripleR, will be married till the day I die. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I am 100%. Do we have our differences - sure, but our vows said - for better, for worse.... This is obviously a for worse time - change that to a better time (fight for her!!!)

If you wish to discuss it further, please feel free to PM me.

You and your wife will be in my prayers.

 

[torry]

mcd176, it's important that you keep a positive atmosphere for your children. Even if they're ok now, the divorce will have it's long term effect on them, and I say this from my personal experience. Just my 2 cents in.

 

[DABSGT]

Mike,

Best of luck, I have also done the DIVORCE thing and life does get better. You have been together for a long itme and looks like both of you are thinking of the children. A good divorce counceler for you and your daughter is good advice.

Only one warning, even though you and your soon to be X are now getting along you may find that once the lawyers are involved that goes to ****. I have found that you need to use your head and heart when taking there advice.

Keep your head up and take care of that little girl. no matter how much the x gets to you remember Venting to your children "bad mouthing mom" will, in the end, damage your relationship with them.