The Unthinkable has happened (to our family)

   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #1  

Steve_Miller

Veteran Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2004
Messages
1,343
Location
Nova Scotia, Canada
Tractor
2006 Kioti CK30HST
My son-in-law died from a massive heart attack Aug 26 at the age of 33. No warning, no signs, this is not suppose to happen. They had just moved back to Nova Scotia after eight years in the oil patch of Alberta. He just switched companies and had been offered a supervisors job in the coil tubing services. She flew in a week ago Tuesday with the two kids (four and one an a half) and stayed with us. He arrived a week ago Saturday at our cottage with the U-Haul in tow with all their possessions and it got unloaded and came down to gather up the family. Went back to our cottage on Sunday where they were going to live until they found a house and settle down 'back home' in N.S. Left Monday and dropped off the U-Haul in a nearby town then go back and start unpacking. They stopped for ice cream for the kids and he had one as well and asked Mel if she wanted to drive, ten kilometers up the road he said 'oh my god' slumped forward in the seat and it was over. Mel had no cell service in the area so she quickly turned around and cut off the first car heading towards her and they helped her do CPR until the paramedics arrived. They worked on him for about an hour in total, he was pronounced dead at the hospital, worse day of our lives. I did not enter the trauma room at the hospital for five or ten minutes, then entered to help my wife get her away from him and start the healing process. All the immediate family calls I initiated were traumatic as well including his parents and brother. It was not the way I wanted to do it, but with Facebook, Twitter and all the other communications these days I thought it best they heard from me than someone calling them and asking what was going on. After all of this I had my sister in law drive me back to the scene. This is one of the most touching parts so far, the incident ended up in front of some strangers house and they happened to be out on their front lawn when all this took place and came up to the scene and offered to take the kids down to their house and got the vehicle off the road as well so she would not have these worries on top of all else that had just happened while she went in the ambulance. I thanked them for everything they did from what I remember (as I was in a zombie as well). I returned to the hospital and Mel explained to our grand-daughter what happened to daddy. I still don't remember much of that drive but I do remember Leslie telling me several times that the ice cream killed daddy. When I got out of the car I had to sit on the sidewalk for several minutes as my legs left me, for the life of me I don't know how Mel had the courage to tell that little girl what had happened to her daddy. Well, Friday they showed up at the visitation and I was just floored that complete strangers would do this. They remembered some of the names and followed up on the obituaries and came down to offer their condolences. I was greeting people at the door as they came in (i didn't know 80% of the people that showed up) and they looked at me and visa versa and at about the same time they told me who they were it hit me, I immediately lead them over to meet my daughter and my wife and of course it was a sob fest, but this is a tremendous part of healing process especially to us to meet people like this. We will be forever thankful of them for being so kind as to take in complete strangers in a time of need. Another thing that seemed touching suggested by the minister was to have a basket of stones placed at the entrance/exit of the funeral home. The reason for this being that she is keeping his ashes for now, so there would be no grave site for people to grieve. You could take a stone and keep it with you until such a time came that you thought of a place that you would be reminded of him and place the stone. Anyhow, thank you all for listening to my story and that if, in any way it may help someone struggling with their sorrows that there are so many people out there that you will never know care. It has helped me and our family to start healing. Without boring you completely there were many other friends and strangers that have started trust funds and auctions as well and we thank them all.

Thanks again if you got this far,
Steve
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #2  
What a tragic story. I'm really sorry for you and your Family, God Bless.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #3  
My condolences to you and your family Steve. It is so hard to accept losing someone at a young age, even more so when it comes out of the blue I think.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #4  
So sorry for your tragic loss. You and your family will be in our prayers. May the healing process be swift.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #5  
I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #6  
I'm so sorry for your loss. What's important now is to stay close to the family and support on a another.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I deeply sorry for your loss
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #7  
Steve; I am so very sorry for your family's loss. I have no words to convey my sympathy and sadness. Please know that you and your family will be in the thoughts and prayers of others.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #8  
I'm truly sorry for you and your family's loss Steve.
I lost my wife at a young age, I was devastated but not as much as our 3 young boys.
I will pray for you and your family.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #9  
Steve, you named it right; Unthinkable. Fortunately, most of us can only imagine how bad that would be. You, and the rest of the family, certainly have our sympathy, and hopes for the pain to subside.
 
   / The Unthinkable has happened (to our family) #10  
Sorry to hear of such a loss of a young life.My Condolences to You and Your Families.
Live for Today and Plan for Tommorow,it's all We can do.God Bless.
 
 
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