Lonely

[FarmGeek]

Good Evening,

Last night my wife of three years, eleven months, five hours and five minutes passed away. Her name is Patty.

Patty had an AVM, or an unusual mass of blood vessels and arteries, located in the balance center of her brain, the cerebellum. When a small rupture occurred a couple months ago she became temporarily paralyzed due to the uncontrolled dizziness. We knew the surgery was risky but she characteristically thought of others first. Her greatest fear was having another rupture while driving and causing harm to someone else. Even in death she was adamant about being an organ donor. Because of this, two people will receive kidneys, two will become sighted again and one will gain a new liver.

One complication after another denied her recovery. The surgeon’s skill and the dedicated and compassionate nursing staff prevented her from dying five times on the operating table and too many to count while in neuro-intensive care.

Not only did I loose the Love-of-My-Life but my best friend as well. I got lonely so I thought I would share her compassion with you lot.

Please! If you haven’t done this before go do it now!! Talk to your spouse about what your final wishes are. Have a will made. Draft a Living Will if appropriate and consider Powers of Attorney for the both of you. We did this and it allowed me to direct the best possible care for the greatest chance of surviving while having a clear understanding of her desires. So many of the health care professionals I spoke with were relieved we had done this too. I could answer questions and make decisions without any hesitation knowing it was what Patty had directed me to do.

Patty was a city girl from New Jersey. She moved to central North Carolina looking for employment. We met at the workplace but didn’t hook up until years later, after we had both divorced. I taught her to eat grits, okra and the proper way to barbecue. I taught her how to run a skid-steer, drive a tractor and weld. I bought her an RTV900 that she named Kubby. They were inseparable. I sure will miss that little orange streak racing between flowerbeds and the garden.

I miss my wife and my friend. She was only 48. Now go hug your spouse. If asked why, just say it’s because I can’t hug mine tonight.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Jeff

[jjcc246]

wow, it's hard to reply to that. I am heartfully sorry for your loss. And like you, my wife is my best friend and I would be lost without her. I do hug her and tell her I love her constantly because we just never know. You and your wife will be in my prayers. It seems that in the past 10 years I have suffered the loss of friends and family due to serious illnesses, and it has made me change my life. I truely pray for you, that you will be able to cope with this terrible loss, and that your wife and best friend will rest in peace. Again, I am very sorry for your loss. Good luck to you.

[Inspector507]

Sorry to hear of your loss Jeff

[jwnge]

I also am deeply sorry for your loss. JohnJ

[billbill1]

Jeff, I hope that you can find comfort in the fact that she isn't suffering anymore. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

[Houndsman]

Jeff,
stay on the net, don't drop off. Keep coming back whenever, and speaking on whatever subject.
v/r mark

[EddieWalker]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Eddie

[johnk]

Sorry for your loss also. It has to be a very difficult time..

John

[texasjohn]

Difficult time, tremendous loss.... thanks for sharing.... clearly she (and you) are compasionate and caring people. My prayers for you, both. I know she would be glad that you took the time to ramble with us... please come on back anytime, farmgeek, and let us know how you are coping.... and take comfort in knowing that you and the doctors did all that could be done and even your loss is a very significant benefit to all the people recieving the gifts from your wife, as she wished.

[Redneck_Randy]

Sorry to hear of you lose FarmGeek. My wife and and I have such a bond that if I lost her I would rather be........ well you know what I mean.