Death & dealing with her son

[George2615]

I say its not your responsibility nor should you incur any expense to yourself to move her property. Your letter approach seems to be the way to go. Give them a set time(say 30 days) by which the items must be removed. Judge Judy on TV usually only gives 5 days for people to pick up belongings at the others house. If they don't come by then to pick things up you should consider the items abandoned property and be free to dispose or sell.

 

[MossRoad]

I guess I would just call and ask if he wanted to come get the stuff, or if he would just like us to donate it to goodwill. I doubt he wants too fool with that stuff. Most places goodwill or similar organisations will come by and pick it up.

That's the best thing. Good suggestion.

 

[rox]

I guess I would just call and ask if he wanted to come get the stuff, or if he would just like us to donate it to goodwill. I doubt he wants too fool with that stuff. Most places goodwill or similar organisations will come by and pick it up.

I'm with AlanB on this one also, exept I would probably wait about 2 weeks then send a sympathy card, with a hand written note inside, "sorry for your loss, I came to know your mtoher well and will miss her etc. etc." then simply say "You probably are not aware that your mom's excercize machine is at my dad's house, it's quite large you will probably need a trailor. If this is not somehting you wish to keep jsut let me know and we will donate it to Goodwill" Don't want to trouble you at all jsut want you to know about the excercize equipment"

Don't put a time line on your request at all. Then after 30 days donate it to Goodwill and get a receipt. If they ever come looking for it you have the receipt, they ahd ther chance and never called. They ahve a lot, lot more improtant things to handle with her passing than this exercize equipment. The family member will read the sympathy card, they will read all fo them, there is no need for a certified receipt. We all know when we had a chance and blew our chances. If after a month after sending the card they will simply think, we blew our chance. If they really want it they will call right away, it's either going to be right away a phone call (don't forget to include your phone number on the card) or they are abondoning it.

 

[jinman]

I agree with AlanB and MossRoad on this one, but I think I'd take it one more step and not provide them with any inventory of the stuff she left there. One son already knows about the treadmill, why should you have to keep reminding him of property he could have by just showing up with a truck? If there was any inventory to be done, I'd just do it to keep up with the stuff I gave to goodwill. They will give you a receipt for the big stuff anyhow.

I would be tempted to wait 30-60 days. If nobody claimed ownership, then I'd donate the stuff and make sure I had a record that it was given away. You want to make sure you don't gain from its disposal.

This, of course, is the advice of a "TBN lawyer." So take it for what it's worth.

 

[Sigarms]

Not to get off the subject, but how did the treadmill end up at your FIL's house in the first place?

As mentioned before, take one day, go out of your way to be sincere and nice, and bite the bullet, move everything out, and be done with it forever.

Then again, you may need to 86 the lawyer son who could be a pain in your butt forever

 

[Richard]

Not to get off the subject, but how did the treadmill end up at your FIL's house in the first place?

As mentioned before, take one day, go out of your way to be sincere and nice, and bite the bullet, move everything out, and be done with it forever.

Then again, you may need to 86 the lawyer son who could be a pain in your butt forever

She was buried yesterday and here's an update. First, to answer Sig's question, they have been living together for about 15 years. During that 15 years she not only kept HER house "running" as they'd stay there on an infrequent basis...but most of her life operation was done out of his house. When she had some health issues a couple years ago, she bought the treadmill and had it at her 'primary' residence (his house) so she'd be able to have easy access to it. Her house is probably a solid hour away and since they mostly hung out in our area, her things simply collected here.

Now, to the funeral. Although I was not part of the conversation, I DID happen to hear a couple snippets between FIL and son.

FIL: "well... I do have some of her things still at my house and in her closet"...blah blah...

Son: blah...blah... I'll get a truck and get there to pick her things up

FIL: blah...blah... There's no rush...after all, it's been there for YEARS (his emphasis)...blah... blah...

Son: (laughing) So a couple more weeks won't hurt anything...


It was at this point that I continued walking past them and didn't hear any more of the talk. I WAS glad to see it was brought up and his comments.

Just to give you an idea of what an idiot I think this son is... we've been out to lunch/dinner SEVERAL times as a group (my FIL/Virginia, my wife, Virginia's son and his wife) They hardly spoke to us at all, directing their conversation to Virginia only. Also... he called FIL's house once and Virginia wasn't there. Seems FIL was napping at 5:30 or sometime around dinner. He was a bit groggy and the son asked if he was sleeping. His answer was yes he was (as if it's anyones business?). The son asked "do you have a clock" FIL a bit groggy... "why....uh... yes??" and the son said "well go LOOK at it" and he then commenced to hang up on FIL. Seems he (son) was rather put out that FIL was taking a nap and ever since that specific day, the son was never welcomed out to FIL's house and FIL never went over to visit with Virginia at her son's house. My FIL took a real dim view to the disrespect and attitude shown.

Perhaps I'll wait a couple weeks and ask FIL how it's going with the guy and if there's been no contact nor pickup...maybe I'll call the son on the side and simply tell him that if he'd like me to take her things and donate them to goodwill/other... let me know and then he won't even need to come out our way. (we live almost an hour from him too... since his mother had moved back to her house several months prior, MOST of her belongings were taken with her, so he might not want to even bother with the residual things)

Over all though... my FIL did deal with this and I honestly did NOT think he would so I was smiling (behind his back) for him.

 

[Sigarms]

Honest opinion, tell your FIL you will help anyway you can, all he has to do is ask, and you will do whatever he needs. It's clear you don't think much of some of these people involved with your FIL, and unless he (FIL) can't handle himself, stay clear of the whole situation and deal with no one and say nothing. Bottom line, everything mentioned is really none of your business.