Richard
Elite Member
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2000
- Messages
- 4,822
- Location
- Knoxville, TN
- Tractor
- International 1066 Full sized JCB Loader/Backhoe and a John Deere 430 to mow with
No condolences needed to me, as my emotional attachment here isn't as high as it could have been.
My wifes father has had a girlfriend for say... 15 years now. Ever since his wife passed away. She moved in with him about 13 years ago (technically uninvited but I don't think he cared TOO much!!)
Over the 13 years, she has looked out for him, cooked for him and so on. MANY of her belongings have osmosed to his house over the years. She has kept her house in working order, about an hour away.
Last summer she developed clots in her lungs and that was the beginning of her downward spiral.
Several months ago, Walt FINALLY told her he (in his mid 80's and tons of health issues) can't look after her (in her mid 70's and otherwise, in prior great health).
She got antsy about that & moved back to HER house. She's been on oxygen since last summer.
Over the weeks of her moving home, she asked him to bring her, her clothes & belongings. He did take her most of (if not all) her clothes, however, he simply can NOT take her a treadmill she had at his house.
He mentioned the treadmill and perhaps other items to her son who lives in between the two houses.
She didn't want to put her son out to come get these things and she suggested that possibly I be the one to deliver them to her (of course, I don't have any truck or trailer either, just like her son)
Her son never did come out to get anything. He simply ignored the reality and "we" weren't going to go rent a truck or something to deliver said items to her.
To be clear... there are no anamosities here, other than a large disdain to her son who has never lifted a finger to dig in and help out. He's much too busy (at 55 ?) to go to swim competitions in the AARP class so he can beat up on other guys who are 70 years old it seems.
Ok... I know this is long winded but I think some of the history is needed.
She passed last night. her treadmill is STILL at Walt's house. Her son(s) have NEVER made any comment, effort or the like, to retrieve it nor any other of her belongings.
Now that she's gone, I think it's even LESS likely they'll put any effort into it.
One of them (the local son) happens to be an attorney.
The wife, sister in law & Walt have chatted about these things and how they are going to "tell" the son he needs to do such & such...
Realizing he's shown ZERO interest & effort to date, to do ANYTHING our way to help his mother, I'm not so sure words are the way to deal with him.
I've told them they need to move all her things into the garage and that I'd help. List it all and then send him a certified letter, telling him he's got "X" days to get it all or we'll dispose of it however we see fit.
Seeing as he's an attorney and as I recall once, has laughingly said "it's my JOB to piss people off" (or some derivation of that) I don't want to get into a situaton of "he said, she said" with him.
He's a fairly arrogant idiot, shown little regard for his mother (as far as we saw her in OUR world...which, since she LIVED here, was actually quite a bit).
I want to somehow make this clean and give him ONE chance to deal with it and if he fails to deal with it, then his door of recourse, will be closed.
Any suggestions, or is my "move to garage, make list, send certified with receipt letter" sufficient???
Thanks for any thoughts and for reading the small novel.
My wifes father has had a girlfriend for say... 15 years now. Ever since his wife passed away. She moved in with him about 13 years ago (technically uninvited but I don't think he cared TOO much!!)
Over the 13 years, she has looked out for him, cooked for him and so on. MANY of her belongings have osmosed to his house over the years. She has kept her house in working order, about an hour away.
Last summer she developed clots in her lungs and that was the beginning of her downward spiral.
Several months ago, Walt FINALLY told her he (in his mid 80's and tons of health issues) can't look after her (in her mid 70's and otherwise, in prior great health).
She got antsy about that & moved back to HER house. She's been on oxygen since last summer.
Over the weeks of her moving home, she asked him to bring her, her clothes & belongings. He did take her most of (if not all) her clothes, however, he simply can NOT take her a treadmill she had at his house.
He mentioned the treadmill and perhaps other items to her son who lives in between the two houses.
She didn't want to put her son out to come get these things and she suggested that possibly I be the one to deliver them to her (of course, I don't have any truck or trailer either, just like her son)
Her son never did come out to get anything. He simply ignored the reality and "we" weren't going to go rent a truck or something to deliver said items to her.
To be clear... there are no anamosities here, other than a large disdain to her son who has never lifted a finger to dig in and help out. He's much too busy (at 55 ?) to go to swim competitions in the AARP class so he can beat up on other guys who are 70 years old it seems.
Ok... I know this is long winded but I think some of the history is needed.
She passed last night. her treadmill is STILL at Walt's house. Her son(s) have NEVER made any comment, effort or the like, to retrieve it nor any other of her belongings.
Now that she's gone, I think it's even LESS likely they'll put any effort into it.
One of them (the local son) happens to be an attorney.
The wife, sister in law & Walt have chatted about these things and how they are going to "tell" the son he needs to do such & such...
Realizing he's shown ZERO interest & effort to date, to do ANYTHING our way to help his mother, I'm not so sure words are the way to deal with him.
I've told them they need to move all her things into the garage and that I'd help. List it all and then send him a certified letter, telling him he's got "X" days to get it all or we'll dispose of it however we see fit.
Seeing as he's an attorney and as I recall once, has laughingly said "it's my JOB to piss people off" (or some derivation of that) I don't want to get into a situaton of "he said, she said" with him.
He's a fairly arrogant idiot, shown little regard for his mother (as far as we saw her in OUR world...which, since she LIVED here, was actually quite a bit).
I want to somehow make this clean and give him ONE chance to deal with it and if he fails to deal with it, then his door of recourse, will be closed.
Any suggestions, or is my "move to garage, make list, send certified with receipt letter" sufficient???
Thanks for any thoughts and for reading the small novel.