Just my two cents:
1. Just skimming through, but a larger diameter rod will not create less force on the extension part of the cylinder, which is more likely a cause than the retraction motion. It will, though, resist buckling better
2. If it bends while moving that cylinder: A relief valve setting could make a world of difference. Granted, when digging close in the cylinder rod is extended further and more likely to bend, but this should be accounted for in the relief valve. Isnt that the point of it?
3. If it is bending when using other functions:
I am assuming that backhoe hydraulics do not drift, and thus employ some sore of check valve. If so, then there is no "static" protection of your cylinder. What I mean is, you can apply a force on the dipper stick cylinder with another function that is larger than you could apply by moving that cylinder. For example, if the dipper was close in, and you were pulling up with the boom and got caught, a large force would be applied to the cylinder (because the fluid in it cannot leave) that could possibly bend it. This is difficult to "engineer" prevention for, and it sounds like it could be the problem The best thing to do would be to avoid situations like this by having the dipper swung out past vertical. Sorry to hear about your misforture, though.