Security & Theft Phunnie - Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

[49tandc]

• They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.

• Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

• It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

• It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

• The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

• They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

• The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased.

• You could use the mirrors if they weren’t cracked and covered with duct tape.

•Top speed is only about 45 mph.

•Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in bodywork, taillights and a windshield.

•It's hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

49T&C

 

[Iplayfarmer]

Too True. Too true.

 

[hudr]

Way too true. A buddy of mine I graduated High School with went off to college w/ the truck his dad had given him. The windows were tinted pretty dark. Truck was stolen from A&M. When he showed up frantic that his truck was gone,his friends admitted to waving at "him" the whole time it was leaving the crowded parking lot. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[QRTRHRS]

You left out the part about the bees that hardly appreciate you disturbing their home.

 

[RalphVa]

Yeah. Used my Dad's old Dodge while he was in the hospital recently. Got something at Home Depot. Thing almost didn't start when I got back in it. The starter was showing the same symptoms, apparently, that my old 1957 Chrysler showed when hot. It especially didn't like my MIL.

The old Dodge was also noisey from windows and exhaust (which stunk). The brake pedal oscillated, too.

Good paint job obviously done with a brush.

Ralph

 

[EquipmentJunkie]

Too true. I have a funny story of a farm truck...

I know of a farmer who lives on the edge of decent-sized city. He had an old farm truck that he used to run errands within a 10-mile radius. Here in PA, a truck with farm tags is exempt from our state's strict inspection laws. Well, needless to say this farm truck would have been condemned if anybody got a good look at it. I rode in once while hauling firewood and was amazed that it was still being driven on the road.

As time continued to shine its cruel face on the old Chevy truck, the driver's-side door latch no longer held the door closed. The resourceful farmer decided to just clamp the door between his arm and his body through the ever-opened window. "It was only difficult in right-hand corners. You had to clamp your arm pretty hard...or slow down." was the explanation.

One day, the farmer's high-school aged son took the tattered truck to run an errand. He made a U-turn that the witnessing policeman deemed unacceptable and gave chase to lecture the young driver.

When the policeman approached the vehicle, the teen reached for the registration and insurance information in the glove box...releasing his grip on the crippled door. It popped out of the door jam. A good deal of yelling and excitement occurred in the next few seconds which included the pulling of a weapon and some hasty and complicated explanations on the part of the teen.

That was the last day that old farm truck saw public roads.

 

[RickS]

My Dad used to leave the key in our old 1969 Dodge 3/4 ton, hoping someone would steal it. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif That thing was ugly as sin and would vapor-lock if you shut it off when it was hot, but I miss it. It never left me anywhere and would haul anything we could dump into the bed.

 

[ToadHill]

I had an old Ford, Blue with Black hood and passenger fender. The bed liner held the box im place, and it had lovely brown lace all around the bottom. It had 178,000 miles on it when the speedometer gave up and I drove it for 3 more years. It never failed me and I never had the engine apart.

 

[fuelburner]

We have a 1974 F 600 called Ugly, we have been trying to get her started, but the mice had their way with her and she just won't turnover. Have not given up on her though.

 

[flwiii]

Aren't the holes in the floorboard for stopping the truck the old Fred Flintstone way?