Ron, I'm not sure what your pressure should be. My 45HP tractor has a relief pressure of 5000 psi. It makes sense that yours would be less considering your reduced weight. Of course, gear ratios/ranges come into play also, but 3800 psi sounds like a reasonable amount for your power-weight ratio.
The noise you are hearing when the tractor warms is what concerns me. As I mentioned before, the relief valve should lift at the same pressure no matter what temperature, but the rate of flow in bypass might change due to viscosity thinning. Is your oil clear? Have you ever taken a sample to have it tested for metal particles? There is the possibility of internal pump/motor wear. If so, there should be an elevated metal content in your fluid. Of course, I regularly push my HST into relief when loading from a pile or digging. I'm just deaf enough that I can't hear it. Relief is normal, but early relief seems to be what you are experiencing. That's something only you know and just can't be fully described on a forum.
It's a bummer being so far away from a dealer. I'm 25 miles from mine and that seems pretty far sometimes. I knew the relief valves were expensive, but I was shocked at your $700 price. Wow! Shibaura parts sure have skyrocketed in price since New Holland split with them. Everything seems to be two or three times it's original price.
I can't help much except to be a 'coach' from afar. I hope you find a good solution. If there is any data I can help you research, let me know. Nothing seems quite so bad as being isolated with equipment problems. Good luck!