Fender Damage

[Kenne_can]

Hey All
I have read your posts for the last year and got advice on buying my NH TC33D.
I have been letting my fater-in law use my tractor. This past week used it to push up burn piles. He uses it like a bulldozer. Broke both fenders. NH parts book calls for $550 to $600 per fender. Decided to use bondo and get it painted, around $150 total cost.
Still, new tractor and it looks like used. and hard!!!
He wanted to use it the next dayto finish working. I can afford more damage. This was third time.
Hardest thing I ever had to do was to tell him NO. I could no longer loan out my tractor. Before this, we have been using each others impliments he has a small JD no FEL. Now I dont know what will happen. any advice about fenders or feelings.
Kenne

[Lazy]

Hi
Do you have pics of the damage? are they broke or just dented? I think I would have just said if you break it or damage it, it would be nice if you fix it. and remember its not a bulldozer, its a tractor. how many time have you borrowed his tractor before you got one. will he refuse to help you in the future or loan you what you might need. hows the wife gonna treat you now? You might have just dug yourself a big hole.

charlie.

[Poppa]

I would have been crying. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Not knowing the history between you and him I hesitate to suggest what you "should" have done. Whether or not no was the right answer is something you have to decide but I sure would have been looking for some repair replacement from him prior to letting him use it again. Have you borrowed his stuff? Have you returned it in the same or better condition? Those answers should be important in how you are feeling.

But, I still would have been crying [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Mike

[_RaT_]

If it makes you feel any better, I went to replace the flimsy rubber matts on a NH 2120. $250. I will go with bare steel or make my own. I figure if you had to make a tractor based on the cost of parts, it would cost about $457,936 and 27 cents. I think it applies to all manufacturers. It amazes me what stuff costs!

[BigAl]

Ouch !!!! That's a tough one ! Sounds like he was kinda a cowboy on the old tractor a bit . I think I would just tell him what the replacement cost was for the new fenders and tell him you can't afford to be replacing this stuff when someone else breaks it . Offer to do the work for him since he is your Father-in-law. Man o man ,You don't need the little woman( your wife ) tied up in the middle of this and I can see a real problem if you don't handle this with kid gloves .
My dad is 81 and scares the poop outta me when he drives .
One day I just told him to let me drive and he could enjoy the scenery . It works well and he never ask anymore .
No matter how you tell him ,make sure you do it with respect . Good Luck,
Big Al

[GerardC]

I shoot the tenth person who asks to borrow , the ninth one just left! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

[JerryG]

Kenne_can,
Man O Man, what to do? All that I can say is, I feel sorry for you. I am luck, my FIL borrows implements from me and vis versa, he makes sure nothing is torn up. He takes good care of all my stuff. Just don't be abrupt or rash. Offer to help WITH your tractor when he needs it.

[Henro]

Kenne_can,

Did the father-in-law offer to pay for the repairs?

Around here, it is sort of an unwritten rule that if you borrow it, you break it, then you fix it. At least I think it is. That is what people have always seemed to believe, and what I believe. Almost never borrow anything from anyone though...

If he offered and you declined...the sutuation may be a little different than if he never offered at all.

Personally it would be a little hard for me to borrow something of his if I had refused to lend him something of mine, for whatever reason.

When you said "no" did you explain why? It would be a good idea to do that.

Sometimes it is hard to communicate with fathers-in-law. I'm one myself. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Perhaps you wife could do the "dirty work" of making him understand the situation.

After all, he is taking money out of her pocket too when he damages your tractor.

I might even pretend that I had ordered the fenders and start crying about the cost, just to make a point. You could always "cancel that order" before they came in... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[shvl73]

Did your F-I-L mention the fenders or did he let you discover the damage? Did he offer to repair/replace them? How's your wife after your refusal to re-loan your tractor? You're really in a tough spot. Let us know how it works out.
My inlaws are always around helping out around the house & we help them whenever possible. I'm very lucky, my M-I-L doesn't like my F-I-L borrowing my tools but he has nonetheless & they are returned in the condition they left. If anything ever broke they would immediately own up & replace it. They also look around our house & decide we could use a new _ _ _ _ _, let's go shopping & pick out what you want. It's amazing, he won't spend the $1000 on getting his hearing aid re-fitted but, they want to buy us a new grill, screen room for around the hot-tub, & patio furniture. I let Nancy take the lead on when to say no & feel out when it might offend them to say no. I'm very lucky, they're gems.

[Henro]

<font color="blue"> I let Nancy take the lead on when to say no &amp; feel out when it might offend them to say no. I'm very lucky, they're gems.
</font>

It took me a long time after we got married to accept the fact that the wife's father would do things like that. I mean for me to accept gifts and feel good about it.

I think you are right on in the "saying no" department. As a matter of fact, I would let the wife make all the decisions in that regard... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] She knows her parents and what they can afford to do better than anyone I bet.