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  1. #1
    Gold Member bird1968's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    351
    Location
    Canada NB
    Tractor
    BX24 after years of BX22

    Default Do it yourself, oil change!

    I had to post this, it has alot in common with Tractors. Some of you guys will see yourself in this post.

    Oil Change at the dealer:

    1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

    2) Drink a cup of coffee.

    3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

    Money spent:

    Oil Change $20.00

    Coffee $1.00

    Total $21.00

    ================================================== ========

    Do it yourself Oil Change :


    1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner
    and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

    2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

    3) Open a beer and drink it.

    4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

    5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

    6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

    7) Place drain pan under engine.

    8) Look for 9/16-box end wrench.

    9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

    10) Unscrew drain plug.

    11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

    12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

    13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

    14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

    15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

    16) Crawl out from under! car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes.

    Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trashcan to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

    17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.
    Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

    18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.

    19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

    20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.

    21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

    22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

    23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine

    24) Remember drain plug from step 11.

    25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

    26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.

    27) Drink beer.

    28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole.
    Steal sand from kidís sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties.
    Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

    29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

    30) Drink beer.

    31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug.
    Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

    32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.

    33) Begin cussing fit.

    34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

    35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

    36) Beer.

    37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

    38) Beer.

    39) Beer.

    40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

    41) Beer.

    42) Lower car from jack stands.

    43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

    44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.

    45) Beer.

    46) Test Drive car.

    47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

    48) Car gets impounded.

    49) Call loving wife, make bail.

    50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

    Money spent:

    Parts $50.00

    DUI $2500.00

    Impound fee $75.00

    Bail $1500.00

    Beer $40.00

    Total - - $4,165.00

    But you know the job was done right!
    Bro-Tek web site www.bro-tek.com

  2. #2
    Gold Member Rusty's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    381
    Location
    Hampton Township, Bay County, Michigan
    Tractor
    Kubota B7500HSD-R

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    I wish I would not have read this post, as my tractor has an oil change due soon. However, the further I read, the more that I laughed.

  3. #3
    Elite Member RalphVa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    3,847
    Location
    Charlottesville, VA, USA
    Tractor
    JD 1025, previously Gravely 5650 & JD 4010

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    Funny.

    You didn't mention that half the oil you pour into that 45 degree-angled hole for putting oil into the tractor engine goes out onto the floor too. Why do they do that? The oil fill on my generator is the same way.

    Ralph
    The natural gardener
    God's original intent

  4. #4
    Elite Member RobJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,471
    Location
    Spring, TX (Houston)
    Tractor
    Kubota L2500

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    a friend or my neighbors sisters brother in laws uncle girlfriend got pulled over for as dui while driving a tractor. i believe it.
    L2500

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    726
    Location
    St.Marys County. Maryland/Tall Timbers Md.
    Tractor
    Farmtrac 300 dtc

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    Excellent post!.
    Reminds me of the time we hired one of our drivers to change the oil in our six delivery trucks on a sunday.He needed extra money so why not.They were all 69-70 chevy pickups,six cyl automatics.Almost brand new at the time.Mind you all these trucks had transmission pan drain plugs.
    Monday morning business deliveries as usual until about 9am when one by one drivers were calling in with truck trouble.Seems the engines were rattling and clacking(lifters unloaded,foaming) and the trucks were slipping going up hills(no trans fluid).I then knew what he did.He mentioned later that he thought the trucks would take more oil than they did.Had to be interesting changing filters without draining the oil.



  6. #6
    Bronze Member nosliw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    88
    Location
    WA

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!



    http://mfile.akamai.com/12924/wmv/vo...52183.200k.asx

    had a friend who worked for a few months at one of those places (grease monkey). he told me and all our friends to never step foot near them if you care about your car.

    funny though

  7. #7
    Elite Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    3,373
    Location
    Goffs Corner, KY
    Tractor
    IH 2444

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    change my oil myself and know it was done right with good oil. Priceless....

  8. #8
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    66
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Tractor
    JD 4600 JD LX 277, CUB CADET 1100

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    Last oil change in truck,. Seven quarts Mobil One dumped in driveway while backing out, after oil change done. All leaking from filter. Reload put in 7 more Mobil One and new filter. Still leaking ? Take it to my friendly mechanic. He saves most of the oil and changes again. Seems the gasket from the original filter stayed behind on the first oil changes. Two gaskets on with new filter, no seal created. The mechanic said tolerances on new filters are not great. This was a Motorcraft filter for a Ford F-150. Happy to pay $150 for the oil change. Mobil One probably saved the engine. Done right, just not by me. Count your gaskets.

    John

  9. #9
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    172
    Tractor
    Kubota M5700, BX2350

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    nosliw,

    That video was pretty interesting. Oddly enough, Jiffy Lube convinced me to start doing my own basic maintenance.

    First, they left the oil cap off my truck, which I didn't notice for quite a while. Although this irritated me, at least it was basic human error.

    Second, they mangled the air filter on my car. They pulled out the old filter to see if I wanted to buy a new one, I didn't, so they put it back. The air filter design on my car is a little tricky to get everything aligned properly. He wasn't interested in messing with it, so he just jammed it back in and bent it up. So I basically drove without a filter for a few thousand miles, before I found out about it. No human error on this one, just a guy who didn't care.

    I haven't had issues doing the work myself, but I don't drink beer, so that probably helps.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member woodchuckie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    628
    Location
    Moundville,AL
    Tractor
    KUBOTA L 2800

    Default Re: Do it yourself, oil change!

    A neighbor of mine drove half a mile up the road to check his out after a do it your self oil change and on the trip back he noticed an oil trail in the road. It led straight to his carport. His oil filter gasket had fallen off in the box.

    Make sure you have one gasket.

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