woodlandfarms
Super Member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2006
- Messages
- 6,118
- Location
- Los Angeles / SW Washington
- Tractor
- PowerTrac 1850, Kubota RTV x900
So, we all know i am not afraid to share....
I was up in the back part of the property, clearing out brush. Things are going fine. Getting into thickets of blackberries, stuff occassionaly pokes into the cab. See a shiny object under the brush, might as well jump off and see what junk I have uncovered. Reach for the release on my seatbelt....
A few years ago, I replaced the seatbelt my tractor came with (a 70's style lap belt, just pull on the tab) with a retractable belt due to someones recommendation on this forum.
I press the button, and it is stuck... Hmph.. start pressing and pulling.. hmmm.. can't get it to come undone. Tab not moving. OK, well, stretch the belt out and slide out... nope, retractable belt needs to be fully closed before open. OK, slide up... nope nope nope. No longer a gymnast, knees do not bend that way with the seat back upright... OK, gonna have to cut my way out of this.... Nope, no knife....
OK, head back to the house, pray to god the wife is home. As I drive I contemplate solutions and problems. Thankfully I do not have to poop or pee...
Get to the house. Start hollering for hte wife. Don't want to sound panicked but don't want to think I am just yelling at her to see the latest Fail Army on Youtube. No answer... Crap... no answer..... Dogs no around, car in driveway.... still on the property but where??? Now starting to panick a bit.. all through this I am pounding and pulling on the offending clasp, but I don't have anything but my fist, no hammer, no wrench.....
Finally, by the garden, bent over some bushes, the wifes butt is clear as day (We shall not comment any further). I pull up and start hollering. Butt does not really move... I sit there, holering some more... Reposition the tractor, wife finally looks up with earbuds in her ears... I start saying I need some help, she asks why and then begins to laugh, and goes back to her pruning. No Really I holler, I need some help...
So she comes over, no tools in hand. Takes a look, asks me the usual infuriating wife questions "cause I need to understand this better" instead of just grabbing a tool and pounding the heck out of hte clasp.. So I am not thin, and the works space is tight, and the wife is pulling and tugging and pushing with my saying hey, I already tried that, lets get a bigger hammer... Finally she looks at me and says "hey, its really stuck". No kidding. back ot the shop... SHe goes in the shop and the hollering starts, where are the hammers, where is the screwdriver. Oddly I keep stuff fairly organized, but even with the organization she is struggling to find a tool.
Finally back at the tractor, the begins her surgery. Fair warning, my junk is just inches from where she is rapping away with a hammer and prying with a screw driver. All sorts of angle are tried, if we were naked, it might actually have been fun but I am now pissed and a bit panicked. So I say forget it. Get the knife. Wife goes in, again marital conversation with a fever pitch as she cannot find the knife in the drawer marked Knifes. So she comes back, knfe in hand, given the expereince I just had with her and a hammer I am not feeling comfortable. She looks me in the eye, asks how much this is going to cost to replace Grabs the belt and "POP" it comes undone like a normal belt.
1 hour of my life...
I was up in the back part of the property, clearing out brush. Things are going fine. Getting into thickets of blackberries, stuff occassionaly pokes into the cab. See a shiny object under the brush, might as well jump off and see what junk I have uncovered. Reach for the release on my seatbelt....
A few years ago, I replaced the seatbelt my tractor came with (a 70's style lap belt, just pull on the tab) with a retractable belt due to someones recommendation on this forum.
I press the button, and it is stuck... Hmph.. start pressing and pulling.. hmmm.. can't get it to come undone. Tab not moving. OK, well, stretch the belt out and slide out... nope, retractable belt needs to be fully closed before open. OK, slide up... nope nope nope. No longer a gymnast, knees do not bend that way with the seat back upright... OK, gonna have to cut my way out of this.... Nope, no knife....
OK, head back to the house, pray to god the wife is home. As I drive I contemplate solutions and problems. Thankfully I do not have to poop or pee...
Get to the house. Start hollering for hte wife. Don't want to sound panicked but don't want to think I am just yelling at her to see the latest Fail Army on Youtube. No answer... Crap... no answer..... Dogs no around, car in driveway.... still on the property but where??? Now starting to panick a bit.. all through this I am pounding and pulling on the offending clasp, but I don't have anything but my fist, no hammer, no wrench.....
Finally, by the garden, bent over some bushes, the wifes butt is clear as day (We shall not comment any further). I pull up and start hollering. Butt does not really move... I sit there, holering some more... Reposition the tractor, wife finally looks up with earbuds in her ears... I start saying I need some help, she asks why and then begins to laugh, and goes back to her pruning. No Really I holler, I need some help...
So she comes over, no tools in hand. Takes a look, asks me the usual infuriating wife questions "cause I need to understand this better" instead of just grabbing a tool and pounding the heck out of hte clasp.. So I am not thin, and the works space is tight, and the wife is pulling and tugging and pushing with my saying hey, I already tried that, lets get a bigger hammer... Finally she looks at me and says "hey, its really stuck". No kidding. back ot the shop... SHe goes in the shop and the hollering starts, where are the hammers, where is the screwdriver. Oddly I keep stuff fairly organized, but even with the organization she is struggling to find a tool.
Finally back at the tractor, the begins her surgery. Fair warning, my junk is just inches from where she is rapping away with a hammer and prying with a screw driver. All sorts of angle are tried, if we were naked, it might actually have been fun but I am now pissed and a bit panicked. So I say forget it. Get the knife. Wife goes in, again marital conversation with a fever pitch as she cannot find the knife in the drawer marked Knifes. So she comes back, knfe in hand, given the expereince I just had with her and a hammer I am not feeling comfortable. She looks me in the eye, asks how much this is going to cost to replace Grabs the belt and "POP" it comes undone like a normal belt.
1 hour of my life...
