Not sure where you are getting your information but some of it is not correct. The North American grid is made up of 4 separate grids that each have their own frequency. Each of the 4 interconnects have their own time monitor. The largest interconnect (eastern) is the one I am most familiar because I work for an electric utility in this interconnect. Our time monitor is MISO (Midwest Independent Transmission System Operator) based in Carmel Indiana and St. Paul Minnesota. Not Tennessee. Before MISO it was AEP. When the time error reaches 10 seconds fast or slow, ALL generators in our interconnect, will adjust the generator governors to either 59.98 if fast or 60.02 if slow to get the time back and close to equal of the atomic clock in Boulder Colorado (NIST Laborities). If all the generators were not participating, the governors of those not participating would fight and try to maintain 60 hz and nothing would get accomplished. We adjust this frequency in our computer system all at the same start and end times.
As far as load shedding, there are different schemes for different purposes. I have the authority to manually shed load if I feel it is necessary. Can be done with a couple of mouse clicks. Load shedding is set up to take place in steps. Something like, first stage at 59.7 hz, second stage at 59.3 hz. And so on. Hopefully the system will stabilize before more drastic things happen. The grid being so large is much more stable and reliable because it is somewhat self healing. Imagine all the generators and load and the stored energy that is connected. A lot of mass spinning together. When frequency dips, the rpms of all the connected motors slow and the energy saved from this makes it self healing to a point. Same thing for high frequency but more energy is being used. Unfortunately though there is also more to lose in the event of a major disturbance and it could be a lengthy outage if the whole interconnect were ever to go down.
Reactive power (VARS) is another story. VARS or MVARS in my case are VERY important to the grid. Reactors and capacitors are strategically placed throughout the system to keep the values in check. Capacitors need to be close to the consuming loads because vars are difficult to transfer down the transmission lines from the generator. Your beer comparison makes it sound like they are not desirable but they are.
http://www.nerc.com/docs/oc/rs/NERC Balancing and Frequency Control 040520111.pdf