Your chance to help out

[Anonymous Poster]

Dear kindhearted friends ...

Now that the holiday season has passed, please look into your
heart to help those in need. Enron executives in our very own
country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary
level ... right here in the land of plenty. And as if that
weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of it as a result
of the bankruptcy and current SEC investigation.

But now, you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about
$694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large-screen
projection TV), you can help an Enron executive remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution
by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers their per
diem, but it's a start. Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of
money to you, but to an Enron executive, it could mean the
difference between a vacation spent in DC, golfing in Florida,
and a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is
nothing more than rent, a car note, or mortgage payments. But to
an Enron executive, $700 will almost replace his per diem. Your
commitment of less than $700 a day will enable an Enron executive
to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus
for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING? Each month, you will receive
a complete financial report on the executive you sponsor.
Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your
home. You'll also get information on how he plans to invest
his golden parachute. Imagine the joy as you watch your
executive's portfolio double or triple! Plus upon signing up
for this program, you will receive a photo of the executive
(unsigned -- for a signed photo, please include an additional
$50.00). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of
other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING? Your Enron executive will be told
that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of
need. Although the executive won't know your name, he will be
able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator
just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor an Enron executive.
My preference is checked below:
[ ] Mid-level Manager
[ ] Director
[ ] Vice President (Higher cost; please specify which department)
[ ] President (Even higher cost; please specify which department)
[ ] CEO (Contribution: Average Enron janitor monthly salary x 700)
[ ] Entire Company
[ ] I'll sponsor an Exec most in need. Please select one for me.

SPECIAL LIMITED TIME OFFER
Already an Enron supporter? Don't worry, in this troubled economy,
there are many executives who need your help. Ford today is laying
off 35,000. The NASDAQ is deflated. Now you can show your patriotism
and do something about it. The Invisible Hand will allow supporters
to substitute executives from any downtrodden company listed on
****edcompany.com. You will never own a Bentley, wear hand-tailored
silk shirts, or have a gentleman's gentleman; why deprive a worthy
executive from ascending, and more importantly, from maintaining
the lifestyle he so richly deserves? Imagine the feeling of satisfaction,
the pure joy of knowing that your sponsor ex-executive at the former
spiltmilk.com will be able to have his caviar and eat it too.

*It's just that easy -- do it now!* Please charge the account listed
below ___________ per day and send me a picture of the Enron executive
I have sponsored, along with my very own Enron "Keep America Strong,
Sponsor an Enron Executive: Ask Me How!" T-shirt to wear proudly.
Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number:_______________________
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
Account Number: _______________________
Exp. Date:_______
Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to "The Invisible Hand" or call 1-900-2MUCH
now to enroll by phone. Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact
the executive they have sponsored, either in person or by other
means including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters,
e-mail, or third parties. Keep in mind that the executive you have
sponsored will be much too busy enjoying his free time, thanks to
your generous donations. Contributions are not tax-deductible.

 

[rancar]

Whoa Franz......I think you posted this in the wrong discussion forum and on the wrong website. /w3tcompact/icons/shocked.gif Read the discussions on the Enron thread. The only help I'll give former Enron execs is I'll give them a rake so they can help me clean up my hedgerows after I bush hog them out with my new JD4710 compact tractor, but I'll never even allow them to touch the 4710. I'll even be nice to them and pay them minimum wages. This will put at least some Dinty Moore on their supper table. Then, maybe they'll get a sense as to how the rest of America lives life.

And to wonder what poor Mrs. Lay must have meant when she was on prime time TV trying to explain to the nation that the Lays were broke. Yea sure, the only think broke is their sense of reality. /w3tcompact/icons/mad.gif/w3tcompact/icons/mad.gif/w3tcompact/icons/mad.gif

 

[jasonf]

You know Mrs Ken Lay is down to only 3 homes on account of this whole misunderstanding..... Sure I'll be sending my contribution right away. Perhaps a used shotgun with one in the chamber so that just in case that prick gets a conscience he can do the right thing and kill himself !!! Imagine all those people out there suffering because of his greed. And he takes the fifth saying he didn't know what was going on......

 

[jhburke]

He was either blind deaf and dump or he's lying. The home he sold in Aspen only sold for 2 and a half million more than what he paid for it.

 

[rancar]

Yep, and Mrs. Lay tries to convince the nation that they're broke just like all the Enron little guys. /w3tcompact/icons/mad.gif She must have somehow overlooked the $10-15M in COMPAQ stock and other equity securites they have hidden away somewhere. /w3tcompact/icons/mad.gif/w3tcompact/icons/mad.gif

Now Franz, do you see what you've done here. You're getting all of us home loving, hard working, down to earth Americans all worked up over this. /w3tcompact/icons/frown.gif

 

[Chuck52]

Well I for one am proud of Franz for his unselfish attempt to help these poor people. I've noticed that he often has difficulties with phone companies, power companies and the like, and I am overjoyed that these bad experiences have not negatively impacted his innate desire to do good.

Way to go Franz! My check is in the mail. I heard some local mail went astray somehow, but I'm sure my check will get there.

Chuck

 

[Steelfan]

I don't find much funny about people losing jobs. I'm refering to the people who worked for these crooks. Its a shame when an employer does something like this to the people who made them their money.

 

[rancar]

I'm with you Steelfan. This WAS NOT A FUNNY POST. I think Franz is a little light hearted and well meaning like most of us here at TBN and he's trying to put this whole Enron debacle in some form of humorous light. But, this had ramifications far beyond what anyone should laugh about. There were just too many people hurt by this.

I saw an interview with a poor secretary in her 20s, single mother of a couple kids, explaining to the news reporter that she didn't know what she would be doing after getting laid off. First, it would be unemployment, then whatever. She was in a quandery with tears in her eyes. This isn't right.

If anything, this speaks to the deep seated greed that becomes embedded in the hearts of the power hungry, money hungry like these Enron execs are. They can think of nothing else but walk over other people less fortunate than themselves just so they can have their $5M homes and 1M boats. /w3tcompact/icons/sad.gif

 

[blurrybill]

It seems that many TBNers are conservative and freedom loving (I'll confess). I, too, was really upset with the Enron execs and even have an Enron employee as a patient who is grieving the loss of a co-worker who suicided over lost retirement.

STILL, I didn't take Franz's post as anything more than a dry way of expressing his own contempt at their behavior.

There is a great Noel Coward line that mystified me in the midst of graduate school when Everything was life-and-death:

"Life is too important to be taken seriously." My mentor who gave this to me was so pleased when I finally "got it" and began to progress. -- of course these events are tragic, serious, outrageous.... Seems to me that Franz was pointing that out.

Bill

 

[Wingnut]

First off ... I don't think what happened Enron is humerous ... but let's throw the cold water of common sense over this whole topic. Yes ... it's sad that people lost their jobs .... but Enron is a small ripple in the very large pond of job losses from last year.
Tell me ... is is any worse for this single mother to have lost her job and retirement than a person weeks from retirement? Or a plain old "white male"?
Evil executive? Give me a break! Do you honestly think any of them were actively working to make their jobs, careers and reputations obsolete? You want to really blame someone ... look in the mirror (unless you have no investments whatsoever). Everyone in this wonderful country has gotten caught up in the "free money" syndrome ... "invest your money in our company and get 30% returns every year in your 401(k). Hmm ... makes sense to me ... a well managed company is lucky to ea4rn more than the cost of interest ... say 10% per year .... and their stock valuation is increasing 30% per year. Yeah ... that can continue forever!
No ... I do not support the Enron executive ... nor the executive of any publicly traded cpompany these days ... way too much emphasis on "shareholder value" and too little on future vision! But let's use some common sense in throwing around the blame.

And blaming Enron for trying to regain lost profit off the people that drove energy out of California ... give me break. Blame Gray and his corrupt cronies ... man, I'd take a corrupt businessman over a corrupt politician any day of the week ... cause a heck of a lot less damage!

(ring)Wingnut