Alternate meanings

   / Alternate meanings #1  

unaka

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Jul 5, 2001
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Murphy, NC
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The contest: readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for various words.


The following were some of this year's winning
entries:


1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a
condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. ******** (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul
goes
up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
 
 
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