Turning folks down.

[Fossil Farm]

Probably a good thing you turned down this "relative." Since they have such an attitude, even if you had done the job, they would have complained about something you did 'wrong" even though you have much more experience and knowledge about the subject than they do. All they would have done is bad mouth you to others. I got enough of that at work - try to help someone out of a jam they got into and they still complain. Good luck.

 

[Thomas]

I'd just keep my distance for w h i l e..only so many hours in day and your health comes first.

 

[300UGUY]

I just went thru some of this. I have been helping a elderly neighbor for years. This morning, at 7 freaking am, he calls me and asks me to go to Illinois and back with him tomorrow. He intends on driving to S. Ill, and back in one day. I turned him down. I don't want to spend 12 or so hours in a car. Then the conversation turned to some work I've been doing around his place, for free. He is 88 and cannot do much. He has a large pile of scrap wood on sawhorses in front of his barn. I suggested that I use my tractor and forks to dump it out back, cleaning the area up. He got excited about that, that wood is valuable!!!! Some of it has been sitting there for 5 or 6 years. I am thinking the old sawhorses underneath are rotting out, and if the collapse, I'll have to pick it all up by hand. It's mostly rotten now. Then he asks me if I can refurbish a 600ft second driveway he has. It's been overgrown with russian olive for years, I can't even walk down it now. I said I'm not signing up for that!!! That's where the conversation ended. I don't mind helping him, but I have a life of my own.

 

[300UGUY]

I guess I'm lucky. My relatives only seem to want money!!!!

 

[newbury]

I guess I'm lucky. My relatives only seem to want money!!!!

Perhaps you've treated him so good that he's thinking of you as a son.
Did he put you in his will?

 

[radioman]

I ran in to that scenerio myself a couple times. I find that its best to be honest in some way and just keep it simple by saying at the moment I am booked until such and such date, but I can refer someone else that might be a better choice for you.

 

[EE_Bota]

Weird? My wife is exactly the opposite. She won't let me accept favors when they are offered, but she sure is liberal with offering me up to do favors for others.

When people loan you out, it is an eye-opener.

I'm not bad with a carburetor. Relatives think that a device that won't run must have a bad carburetor, and that does not discourage them because they know right where to take it. Once my 90 year old uncle said something was wrong with his tractor, and my brother coughed me up to run over and fix the carburetor. And if it is not the carb, no matter, since surely I can fix anything (according to them.)

I got a call "Uncle RC wants you to come by and fix his carburetor."
"How does he know it is the carb, and how does he know I can fix them?"
"I told him you are a wizard at carburetors, and that you'd fix it."
"Were I a real wizard, your head and your butt would be switched from now on, but unfortunately, all I can do is make your carb. repair man disappear...poof!"
I went over and fixed the thing, he was not long for this world, and it became a duty at that point, though I feared he was not actually safe to drive it.
The only carbs. I've done since that day are on my ST1100 and on a buddy's generator---we drop what we are doing to help the other all the time, it is our deal.


My dad an I parted company (on good terms) because he was loaning me out to the neighbors (for free) to spray all of there corn and gardens. I was flat busted broke, but needed money for college as I was on summer break. One day, I reminded him "you always said there is not much a poor person can afford to do for people of means free of charge. I'm in college, so how do you loan my out to others to take care of their crops?"
"When you are under my roof, you will do as I say."
"Well, I understand that, but I need you to say different."
"They are my friends, and you will help them."
"I won't help them any longer, Dad, not for free. If you are paid, or I am paid, that's one thing."
"Then you have to leave."
"I understand, and I will pack up and leave right after work."
"I don't want you to go, but I need you to do what I say."
"I don't want to go, but I need you say different than 'go take care of all the neighbor's crops for free.' I am in college, and I need every penny, and I'll still risk miss-meal colic regardless."
That was the impasse, and I left that day, but visited him the next, and every couple of days for a while to make sure that what happened is what was remembered, and no alternative theories crept in, and to be sure he didn't get lonely. And I would help him some, just not all the neighbors.
(The above are not direct quotes, but pretty darn close, I wager.)

 

[Taylortractornut]

They ran me down again today I was headed to a friends farm with the vegetable transplanter on the tractor. They asked me when I could do it. I said about 2 months if I get caught up. I gave them 3 more names but they insisted on me doing it. I told them the price of the pipe I used and the cost of a solids trap as the clay tile wasnt adaptable to the new stuff the the top of the tank would have to be removed if it was a block tank. I gave them a quote of 850 to 1000 dollars. THat wasnt acceptable. They said dig the trench and we ll lay the pipe. I told them it would be a waste of time not putting a new trap in and a the lid had to come off for that. Then she asked if I could get dad to do it sincde he put the tank in all those years ago. I told them dad didnt have any equipment plus he nearly 70. They looked aggravated. she said we cant afford a job like that. I told them I cant afford to do a halfassed job like that either.

Her husband is pretty well off, but what gets me when I toldd them that I was slowing down my jobs they acted offended. But they like to go spend theweekends on the lake themselves camping. I told them I didnt mid doing hob but one like that needed to be a complete do over. I figured my time is as valuable as theirs.

 

[EE_Bota]

They ran me down again today I was headed to a friends farm with the vegetable transplanter on the tractor. They asked me when I could do it. I said about 2 months if I get caught up. I gave them 3 more names but they insisted on me doing it. I told them the price of the pipe I used and the cost of a solids trap as the clay tile wasnt adaptable to the new stuff the the top of the tank would have to be removed if it was a block tank. I gave them a quote of 850 to 1000 dollars. THat wasnt acceptable. They said dig the trench and we ll lay the pipe. I told them it would be a waste of time not putting a new trap in and a the lid had to come off for that. Then she asked if I could get dad to do it sincde he put the tank in all those years ago. I told them dad didnt have any equipment plus he nearly 70. They looked aggravated. she said we cant afford a job like that. I told them I cant afford to do a halfassed job like that either.

Her husband is pretty well off, but what gets me when I toldd them that I was slowing down my jobs they acted offended. But they like to go spend theweekends on the lake themselves camping. I told them I didnt mid doing hob but one like that needed to be a complete do over. I figured my time is as valuable as theirs.

Were you surprised, or did you sort of expect it?

 

[Mousefield]

They ran me down again today I was headed to a friends farm with the vegetable transplanter on the tractor. They asked me when I could do it. I said about 2 months if I get caught up. I gave them 3 more names but they insisted on me doing it. I told them the price of the pipe I used and the cost of a solids trap as the clay tile wasnt adaptable to the new stuff the the top of the tank would have to be removed if it was a block tank. I gave them a quote of 850 to 1000 dollars. THat wasnt acceptable. They said dig the trench and we ll lay the pipe. I told them it would be a waste of time not putting a new trap in and a the lid had to come off for that. Then she asked if I could get dad to do it sincde he put the tank in all those years ago. I told them dad didnt have any equipment plus he nearly 70. They looked aggravated. she said we cant afford a job like that. I told them I cant afford to do a halfassed job like that either.

Her husband is pretty well off, but what gets me when I toldd them that I was slowing down my jobs they acted offended. But they like to go spend theweekends on the lake themselves camping. I told them I didnt mid doing hob but one like that needed to be a complete do over. I figured my time is as valuable as theirs.

I think if you end up doing any work for them you will end up regretting it big time.
As some else posted they will probably find fault with what you did and then try to get paid by them. Run, don’t walk away from them.