itsmecindi
Gold Member
It should be quiet around here. On a typical Saturday morning everybody but Fred sleeps late. I'm next up, then comes Jill, then at some point in early afternoon the other two kids drag themselves, whining, complaining, and stretching out from under the covers. I'd just as soon they stayed in bed indefinitely, but eventually the hunger pangs set in and they grace us with their presence.
So far it's just Jill up, as she has to work. I heard her get up, heard her knocking around, heard the shower start. Then I heard the blood curdling scream. Here she comes wrapped only in a towel that just might cover a toddler adequatley.
"Mom! I can't take this anymore! He's in the shower! Please can I kill him? He's perverted, he's just staring at me!"
"No! No, you may not kill him. If you touch him or in any way threaten him, you will have me to deal with, even if it is a so-called accident. Got me?"
Henry is a spider. Ball up your fist and gaze at it, and you may have some indication of Henry's size. He is harmless. I don't remember the proper name for this type of spider, he's just some type of 'farm' spawned, 'rural living' type spider, /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif but I do know that he is big enough to eat roaches, ants, silverfish, and could probably scarf down a stinging scorpion if he was so inclined to try and was hungry enough. His web is in the corner of the living room and currently displays the carcasses of some fifty mosquitos. Mosquitos that would have been munching down on us in our sleep were it not for Henry.
"Then I'm siccing Salem on him." She threatens, clutching the cat like a knight in black fur.
Heh, heh, heh.
"Go ahead." I say.
A few minutes later Salem came whipping past my chair, his tail all fuzzed out like a bottle brush. He pasted himself to the front door and stared at me with huge green eyes.
"Wimp." I say.
"Mom! Even the stupid cat has enough sense to be scared of this thing!"
"Look, take the broom, or the duster and just kind of scooch him away gently. He'll go, but be prepared, because when he does decide to go he's goin' to go fast. Don't let his sudden erratic movements alarm you causing you to do something that will get you in trouble with me."
She gathered her courage, grabbed the broom and disappeared into the bathroom.
"Ooooh!"
"Oooh...gross!"
"Come on you stuuupppiiidd......ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!"
Then the grand daddy of all screams, and suddenly she was standing at my side panting, her eyes as big as saucers.
"Told you he would move fast. Where'd he go?"
"In MY ROOM!"
"Oh... that'll give you something to think about at work today."
I for one am not prepared to errradicate a creature that does nothing but good, and gets nothing but abuse. Being a mother I can relate to that type of lifestyle and while I may be the only one who appreciates him I will protect Henry until the day one of us goes into the great blue yonder.
"It really doesn't help when I tell you that he is harmless and wouldn't do a thing to hurt you? That he in fact protects you in a round-about way?"
"Uh uh."
I promised to see what I could do about herding him to another room while she's gone to work. Henry chose us, we didn't choose him and I will not repay the favor by crunching him under a shoe. I don't care who don't like it, and that includes, kids, husband, in-laws, outlaws or visitors. Henry lives....says me.
So far it's just Jill up, as she has to work. I heard her get up, heard her knocking around, heard the shower start. Then I heard the blood curdling scream. Here she comes wrapped only in a towel that just might cover a toddler adequatley.
"Mom! I can't take this anymore! He's in the shower! Please can I kill him? He's perverted, he's just staring at me!"
"No! No, you may not kill him. If you touch him or in any way threaten him, you will have me to deal with, even if it is a so-called accident. Got me?"
Henry is a spider. Ball up your fist and gaze at it, and you may have some indication of Henry's size. He is harmless. I don't remember the proper name for this type of spider, he's just some type of 'farm' spawned, 'rural living' type spider, /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif but I do know that he is big enough to eat roaches, ants, silverfish, and could probably scarf down a stinging scorpion if he was so inclined to try and was hungry enough. His web is in the corner of the living room and currently displays the carcasses of some fifty mosquitos. Mosquitos that would have been munching down on us in our sleep were it not for Henry.
"Then I'm siccing Salem on him." She threatens, clutching the cat like a knight in black fur.
Heh, heh, heh.
"Go ahead." I say.
A few minutes later Salem came whipping past my chair, his tail all fuzzed out like a bottle brush. He pasted himself to the front door and stared at me with huge green eyes.
"Wimp." I say.
"Mom! Even the stupid cat has enough sense to be scared of this thing!"
"Look, take the broom, or the duster and just kind of scooch him away gently. He'll go, but be prepared, because when he does decide to go he's goin' to go fast. Don't let his sudden erratic movements alarm you causing you to do something that will get you in trouble with me."
She gathered her courage, grabbed the broom and disappeared into the bathroom.
"Ooooh!"
"Oooh...gross!"
"Come on you stuuupppiiidd......ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!"
Then the grand daddy of all screams, and suddenly she was standing at my side panting, her eyes as big as saucers.
"Told you he would move fast. Where'd he go?"
"In MY ROOM!"
"Oh... that'll give you something to think about at work today."
I for one am not prepared to errradicate a creature that does nothing but good, and gets nothing but abuse. Being a mother I can relate to that type of lifestyle and while I may be the only one who appreciates him I will protect Henry until the day one of us goes into the great blue yonder.
"It really doesn't help when I tell you that he is harmless and wouldn't do a thing to hurt you? That he in fact protects you in a round-about way?"
"Uh uh."
I promised to see what I could do about herding him to another room while she's gone to work. Henry chose us, we didn't choose him and I will not repay the favor by crunching him under a shoe. I don't care who don't like it, and that includes, kids, husband, in-laws, outlaws or visitors. Henry lives....says me.
