Tipping etiquette...what would you do?

[rtimgray]

I'm going to try to make a long story short, so please bear with me...

My wife, son and nephew went to a casual dining restaurant this past weekend. My wife and I typically order a club sandwich (ham, turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, bacon, mayo) and split it, and we each get an order of fries. I can't stand mayo on a sandwich, while my wife likes it, so we always order the mayo "on the side".

I stressed this to our server - "blah...blah...and could you make sure that we get the mayo on the side, please?" The server assured us that he would, as he also didn't like mayo on his sandwiches (although I assume if someone orders extra mayo, he tells them he loves mayo...).

Our order comes out, and it took a while (the restaurant was not busy), and it was delivered by another server. The first thing I saw was mayo on the sandwich. My wife and I ask to have it sent back, and get the mayo on the side. Our server came by and apologized, said that he had told the kitchen specifically "mayo on the side". It ends up taking about 15 minutes for the sandwich to return, with NO mayo - not even on the side. We ask the server for the mayo on the side, and he says he'll go get it right away...and he doesn't return until it's time for the check.

The other fly in the ointment is this: This is the 3rd time in a row that this exact thing has happened at this exact restaurant (I'm a slow learner - my wife and son really like the restaurant, though). I asked the server if I could speak to the manager, and he said that the manager had just stepped out....(no, I don't believe that either - but I didn't see the manager walking around to each table as they often do, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt).

Our server did remove the drink charges from our ticket for my wife and I (she had tea, I had Diet Mountain Dew), so he made an effort, but I thought that overall the service was poor.

Our ticket came to about $40 for the 4 of us, and I told my wife that I intended to leave $1 for a tip. She said "It's not the server's fault". Then where does the fault lie? I didn't go to the kitchen and order my food, so the server is my only contact. I think that current etiquette for a tip is between 15 and 20 percent (and I'm more on the 15 percent end of the scale), so that would be $6. We compromised and left $4.

The thing is, I'm sure that we will eat at this restaurant again, and that is my favorite item on the menu - when I get it with no mayo!!! What else can I do?

Thanks for letting me vent and I look forward to hearing how others have handled this situation.

Good luck and take care.

 

[mark02tj]

If this was the third time in a row that the exact same thing has happened at that restaurant... I think I'd find a new place to eat!! LOL!

Was it the same server all three times? If so, the problem lies with him. If not, it could lie in the kitchen.

Hopefully the $4 tip sent a message. A $1 tip would have sent a stronger message. If this is someplace that you go a lot, I would have talked to the server once you were told the manager "wasn't available." Stress to him that you like the food, but that the service is slipping. Sometimes employees just don't get it - that they're the reason that people will either come or not come to the place of business.

I'm a big proponent of voting with your wallet! If you keep going back there, you're voting "YES" to the service, food, etc.

MANY years ago (I was about 20), a couple of buddies and I went to a local rib house. Our waitress (a woman probably in her 40's at the time) was rude to us and gave us crappy service. We noticed a guy who was smoking next to the drink dispenser and he was flicking his ashes so some of them were going in the ice machine. We pointed this out to her and she said "that's the owner". Long story short - we left her $.02. She yelled at us on the way out. I've never been back. Amazingly, I've never talked to anyone locally that likes to eat at this place but they're, somehow, still in business. They're located right at the edge of a college campus, so I think they survive on students and out of town, visiting parents.

 

[smstonypoint]

The other fly in the ointment is this: This is the 3rd time in a row that this exact thing has happened at this exact restaurant (I'm a slow learner - my wife and son really like the restaurant, though).

The thing is, I'm sure that we will eat at this restaurant again, and that is my favorite item on the menu - when I get it with no mayo!!! What else can I do?

Next time order the sandwich without mayo and have your wife bring her own.

Am aside. Never tip an economist. To do so invites a lecture on the economic theories of tipping and nobody has that kind of time.

Steve

 

[polo1665]

I would ask to speak to the manager. We had this sort of thing happen a couple of weeks ago. After we spoke to the manager, it seemed to us that the fault landed solely on the kitchen staff. The waitress was very upset and went overboard to correct the issue, so we tipped her accordingly. The head chef ended up coming out and apologized personally. Point is, is that after speaking to the manager the issues seemed to get resolved at a much more satisfying rate.

Seems to me that waiters/waitresses are often at the mercy of the kitchen staff. If there is a problem I usually tip based on their willingness and speed in making things right. In your case I am thinking that the server wasn't much more concerned about your experience than the kitchen staff was. I don't know that I would go as low as a dollar (kind of seems like that would be rubbing their nose in it), but 20% would be out of the question.

 

[LD1]

I dont think $4 sent any message at all. Unless you are there frequently enough that you are regarded as a good tipper. Alot of people still only tip 10%.

IMO, this is completely the fault of the server. They took the order, put it in, and then served it to you. They are your only line of communication with the cooks. The server could have wrote the order down wrong, entered it wrong, etc.

But what is totally unacceptable it the long wait to get the order corrected, and then STILL didnt give you the side of mayo.

In the case as you describe it, I would have taken a harder line. Probably only would have left the change out of my pocket as a tip, especially as you couldnt talk to a manager. In the restaurant business, there should ALWAYS be a manager on duty and available to talk to within short order.

Given that the server is the only person you deal with, whatever is wrong with the meal ultimately reflects on there tip. If they got a bad cook or staff in the back, and tips start suffering as a result, its up to the servers to light a fire under their butts to start getting things right.

 

[polo1665]

Sorry, I guess I should have taken more time reading your post..........missed the part about the manager not being there. Sounds to me like this is sort of a regular place for you to eat, and you say you have had problems before. If this has happened three times in the past I would definitely not be going back (2nd time would have been my limit), but I would still not stiff the server.

Had you spoken to the manager during any of your prior visits?

 

[downsizingnow48]

When service is poor it could be server, kitchen or management to blame. Or poor teamwork among them all. The one-time tip might make the server happy or unhappy, but is unlikely to change the overall restaurant performance. Even with poor service I will give the server the benefit of the doubt and a good tip, then never go back.

Here in Sacramento we only go to places that have 4 1/2 stars or better on Yelp. Never had a bad experience since we moved here. I think the public Yelp review is a more effective incentive for consistent restaurant performance, compared to the private tip transaction.

 

[MikePA]

A tip reflects the quality of service from the server, not the entire restaurant staff and dining experience.

 

[Sawyer Rob]

I don't understand how it could have came to the point it did? Why would you keep going back?? Why did you leave a tip at all??

I'm willing to give a place a second chance, but NEVER a third or forth!

SO, this one is on YOU, for going back.....

SR

 

[MikePA]

Why did you leave a tip at all??

So, the server pays the price for mistakes made in the kitchen?

The OP has already explained why they went back.