Long-estranged sibling just passed away...

[Retiredguy2]

My brother just called me....turns out my elder step-sister (age 67) passed away yesterday. I have had no direct face to face contact with her since at least 1995...we were never close at all despite being related since 1951. Indeed, the last contact I had with her was back in 2002...she learned I had just retired and despite not hearing from her for 10 years prior to that, she had the audacity to ask for a $3500 loan to "tide her over" and she would "pay me back as soon as she could") !!! although she has coasted along through the vast majority of her life by mooching and sponging off everyone she could take advantage of. I did not lend her a penny back in late 2002 because she had borrowed $500 from me back in 1988 that was never repaid. Now, what do the rest of you say I am responsible for as regards her funeral expenses and related costs to settle her estate? BTW I worked full time and overtime from 1969 thru the end of 2002 to be able to retire. And she never worked full time in her life. Your input is welcomed. BTW she has 2 adult kids (my niece and nephew) who are in their early 40's now but never made any effort to keep in contact with me. Thanks for listening.

 

[prichard]

I'd say it's her kids' responsibility.

 

[MossRoad]

You have no responsibility. If there is any estate, it will pay for the expenses. If there isn't an estate, the local government where she lived will take care of it. If she has kids, its their estate, anyway, not yours, unless there is a will.

 

[prichard]

Sorry, I know that may sound cold to some. Let me explain what happened to me recently. My ex-wife died a couple months ago. She had no life insurance and our son has very little money. I paid for her cremation and paid the lawyer because she never got off her but to make a will. My son will pay me back when he is able.

When my son took her ashes to her sister and mother for a memorial her sister felt bad about not paying for the cremation so she paid me back. But I still have a good bit of money tied up in the probate lawyer and my expenses to travel out west to help my son deal with everything. He would have gladly paid for everything if he was able. When my sisters go I expect their families to take care of things. My brother, whom I'm very close to, is single and never had kids. I'll take care of him.

 

[hawkeye08]

My younger brother died last year and had lots of debt, no money. His step daughter was only one that had any money and job in the immediate family. She stepped up and paid for the whole enchilada. Very simple cremation and service. Lots of underlying tensions with family.

I would suggest that you are not obligated to do anything.

 

[Turbys_1700]

You are not obligated for any of the expenses...
As an aside, I am close friends to a funeral home owner...
Lots of folks now are opting for cremation due to cost...
One business he used to work for had at one time over 300K in uncollected obligations...
Lot of folk don't plan...

 

[2LaneCruzer]

My brother just called me....turns out my elder step-sister (age 67) passed away yesterday. I have had no direct face to face contact with her since at least 1995...we were never close at all despite being related since 1951. Indeed, the last contact I had with her was back in 2002...she learned I had just retired and despite not hearing from her for 10 years prior to that, she had the audacity to ask for a $3500 loan to "tide her over" and she would "pay me back as soon as she could") !!! although she has coasted along through the vast majority of her life by mooching and sponging off everyone she could take advantage of. I did not lend her a penny back in late 2002 because she had borrowed $500 from me back in 1988 that was never repaid. Now, what do the rest of you say I am responsible for as regards her funeral expenses and related costs to settle her estate? BTW I worked full time and overtime from 1969 thru the end of 2002 to be able to retire. And she never worked full time in her life. Your input is welcomed. BTW she has 2 adult kids (my niece and nephew) who are in their early 40's now but never made any effort to keep in contact with me. Thanks for listening.

If she left you all of her personal property, her real estate, her insurance and retirement, then I would say you had a moral obligation to pay for the funeral expenses. Otherwise, you are not legally obligated.

 

[Gary Fowler]

Most deadbeats continue to be deadbeats even in death. I don't think you owe anything to anyone to settle her estate or burial and I personally wouldn't feel bad to not do anything should something like this happen to me and neither should you.

 

[TripleR]

What they said, no responsibility legally or morally.

I've left directions for no service, visitation, nothing, just cremation and spread my ashes around the farms if so inclined.

 

[Sigarms]

What they said, no responsibility legally or morally.

I can't see any legal obligations, added you can't pick your family. Morally though, I would like to believe that Jesus would show her some grace, and it's not what others do that's important, but what you do.

By the same token, I can't see why the OP would even be asking the question because morally, it should come down to her children taking the responsibility.