Anonymous Poster
New member
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2005
- Messages
- 0
Signs Your Brain Surgeon Is Mad
"Hey, anyone here know which part's the brain?"
"Hey, aren't you the mechanic that charged me $350 to replace an alternator? Well, I'm glad you came to me for this difficult procedure."
"I don't know what happened; I guess I just lost my head! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
"i wouldnt have gotten into brain surgery if it werent for those sally struthers comercials
"i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
"this little neuron went to market; this little neuron stayed home..."
"What's This Pink Wavey Stuff In The Hard White Thing?"
'e contributes to this list
accompanied by boris karloff, who's wearing an "i'm with stupid" t-shirt
After surgery tells you, "MMMM, that might not heal"
After the brain operation, you only says "MIYAU"
Asks if you want him to install an ethernet card while he's in there
Asks you if you prefer paper or plastic.
Before the operation, he asks, "Do you have a lawyer?"
Came From Arkansas, covered up murders for Bill Clinton
Continuously tells you to "take it like a man"
[censored] it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a brain surgeon!
Does "Chinese Fire Drills" during surgery
Does Electroshock with jumper cables attached to your ears.
During the consult she keeps asking you to pull her finger.
Frequents the term: Oopps...my bad
Frequents this sight, and uses the word MAD in his alias.
Frontal Labotomy is his favorite operation
Gives You Abby Normal's Brain
Gives you your anaesthesia with a mallet
Go in for transplant, come out with petticure
Has a Dr Kvorkean poster on the operating room wall
Has all his utencils made by Playskool so he won't hurt himself
He asks you if you want brass or silver nipples on your neck.
He calls you an embarrassment to mankind.
He constantly hicups, and takes a drink of something during surgery.
He contributes to this list
He has a drive through service
he has a fork and knife in hand, and a bib
He has a set of brain shaped Jello molds
He has your heart monitor tuned to a hockey game.
He is Hannibal the Cannibal
He keeps on wanting to have SEX with you!
He keeps punching the wall and complaining about his ex-wife
He keeps swearing at everybody, and sending tirades to "The Angry Organization (www.angry.org)
He leaves his scapel inside of your skull
he let your brain go through the washer.
He looks like Elvis and insists he's Michael Jackson...
He looks like Joakim Axelsson
He loves macaroni and chooses to have lunch during surgery
He makes the first incision in your abdomen.
He mistakes your brain for Finland
He offers you a glass of Odwalla!
He opens MrCool's skull and finds it empty
He performs surgery without pants.
He says "Anaesthetic? Why would you want that?"
He says "OK, I'll go first, then you have a try..."
He says, "Today I will stick your Pinky in your Brain."
He says: "Just like carving a turkey."
He screams something about being possessed as the saw nears your scalp
He shows you a picture of Ronnie Reagan with the words "Well, it worked for me Nancy" underneath
He spends his entire life voting for hiself and against others.
He uses a hang-glider, in some manner, to indicate that he is mad.
He uses the Ronco Frontal Lobotomizer
He's holding a frying pan and an egg.
he's name's Jucke and he stuffs your colon for free
Her last job was "Surgeon General"
His assistant's name is Igor
His door says John Doe a Mad Brain Surgeon
his favorite movie is silence of the lambs.....tastes like chicken!!
His instruments: a toilet plunger, an ice cream scooper and a handy vac
His name is Dr. Giggles
His name is Nick Riviera
His pet cat seems quite intelegent...
His repeated vocal renditions of "singin' in the brain"...
His X-Ray machine is an Etch-A-Scetch
Igor is eying your head in the waiting room
Igor is his assistant
In surgery excalims "Anyone for Twister?"
In the middle of a lobotomy, he screams, "The coffeepot!" and promptly exits the OR.
Includes item on your bill for beer and chips
Insists on using zipper instead of stitches- "Just in case"
Instead of the usual rubber gloves, he shows up wearing rubber mittens.
Keeps muttering about how that Mary Shelley had everything all wrong...
Keeps saying "This goes here, right?"
Keeps Singing "Insane in The Membrain, Insane in the Brain" By Cypress Hill
Later you see him trying to see wads of brain-shaped stuff on a street corner.....
Likes to poke your brain to see what funny things you say
Looks in your ear and says "No,no brain here" then nibbles your nose like a gerbil.
Macarena music in operating room.
Medical school shingle is from Frankenstein University.
mentions something about "letting the evil spirits out"
Mistakenly removes brain instead of cancerous tumor.
Motions to the video camera and says, "I've always wanted to be on that Funniest video TV show....."
Mutton and grog-free diet before surgery
no
Offers to do transplant
Operates with a Swiss Army knife
OPP it wasn't a tumer
overheard mumbling: "This is your brain on drugs" followed by wicked laugh.
Plays Emerson, Lake, & Palmer's "Brain Salad Surgery" album backwards during cat scans.
Pokes an ice-pickish-looking-thing in the corners of your eyes and wants to get "them" out of your head.
Refers to your brain as the "chewy caramel center"
Saves some of your brains for food
Says before the operation "Hey, it's not exactly brain surgery...Oh,it is brain surgery
SAYS HE NEEDS TO GIVE YOU RECTAL EXAM TO CHECK FOR EVIL SPIRITS.
Screaming at the nurse for forgetting the staple gun.
Screams, "I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley!"
See copy of "So You Want to be a Brain Surgeon?" on the trasy next to the instruments
She says, "We don't need no stinkin' anesthesia..."
Shows up for surgery with a weedeater and a live chicken
Sings the Barney song as he saws open your skull
Swaps your hemisphere's to make you left handed
Swigs from a mysterious bottle labeled "Cough Syrup" and wears a clown suit in lieu of scrubs
That Black & Decker cordless drill holstered on his waist
The beanie on top of his/her surgical cap
The degree on the wall says "Graduate of Tufts Veterinary College"
The diplomas on his walls are all from psychiatric institutions - and you're not 100% sure he was on the *staff* there...
The giggling.
The Hockey Mask!!!!
The last thing you see before you go under is the foam around his mouth.
The pre-surgery puppet show.
There's a hole in his surgical mask....and he's smoking a cigar through it.
There's an ice cream scoop on the instruments tray
They way he keeps saying "Eh!"
Used to work for Ross Perot
Wears a mask during surgery, Freddy Kruger style!
when he bites your thingy
While looking at your abdomen, he screams, 'What do you mean that's not a neuron?'
Wonders if you are Plug and Play
You go in to get a tumor removed and you walk out wearing a size 36 D.
You overhear "Hmm . . . tastes like chicken"
You see Goat Boy leaving as you enter the doctors office!
~~~from the web~~~
"Hey, anyone here know which part's the brain?"
"Hey, aren't you the mechanic that charged me $350 to replace an alternator? Well, I'm glad you came to me for this difficult procedure."
"I don't know what happened; I guess I just lost my head! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
"i wouldnt have gotten into brain surgery if it werent for those sally struthers comercials
"i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
"this little neuron went to market; this little neuron stayed home..."
"What's This Pink Wavey Stuff In The Hard White Thing?"
'e contributes to this list
accompanied by boris karloff, who's wearing an "i'm with stupid" t-shirt
After surgery tells you, "MMMM, that might not heal"
After the brain operation, you only says "MIYAU"
Asks if you want him to install an ethernet card while he's in there
Asks you if you prefer paper or plastic.
Before the operation, he asks, "Do you have a lawyer?"
Came From Arkansas, covered up murders for Bill Clinton
Continuously tells you to "take it like a man"
[censored] it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a brain surgeon!
Does "Chinese Fire Drills" during surgery
Does Electroshock with jumper cables attached to your ears.
During the consult she keeps asking you to pull her finger.
Frequents the term: Oopps...my bad
Frequents this sight, and uses the word MAD in his alias.
Frontal Labotomy is his favorite operation
Gives You Abby Normal's Brain
Gives you your anaesthesia with a mallet
Go in for transplant, come out with petticure
Has a Dr Kvorkean poster on the operating room wall
Has all his utencils made by Playskool so he won't hurt himself
He asks you if you want brass or silver nipples on your neck.
He calls you an embarrassment to mankind.
He constantly hicups, and takes a drink of something during surgery.
He contributes to this list
He has a drive through service
he has a fork and knife in hand, and a bib
He has a set of brain shaped Jello molds
He has your heart monitor tuned to a hockey game.
He is Hannibal the Cannibal
He keeps on wanting to have SEX with you!
He keeps punching the wall and complaining about his ex-wife
He keeps swearing at everybody, and sending tirades to "The Angry Organization (www.angry.org)
He leaves his scapel inside of your skull
he let your brain go through the washer.
He looks like Elvis and insists he's Michael Jackson...
He looks like Joakim Axelsson
He loves macaroni and chooses to have lunch during surgery
He makes the first incision in your abdomen.
He mistakes your brain for Finland
He offers you a glass of Odwalla!
He opens MrCool's skull and finds it empty
He performs surgery without pants.
He says "Anaesthetic? Why would you want that?"
He says "OK, I'll go first, then you have a try..."
He says, "Today I will stick your Pinky in your Brain."
He says: "Just like carving a turkey."
He screams something about being possessed as the saw nears your scalp
He shows you a picture of Ronnie Reagan with the words "Well, it worked for me Nancy" underneath
He spends his entire life voting for hiself and against others.
He uses a hang-glider, in some manner, to indicate that he is mad.
He uses the Ronco Frontal Lobotomizer
He's holding a frying pan and an egg.
he's name's Jucke and he stuffs your colon for free
Her last job was "Surgeon General"
His assistant's name is Igor
His door says John Doe a Mad Brain Surgeon
his favorite movie is silence of the lambs.....tastes like chicken!!
His instruments: a toilet plunger, an ice cream scooper and a handy vac
His name is Dr. Giggles
His name is Nick Riviera
His pet cat seems quite intelegent...
His repeated vocal renditions of "singin' in the brain"...
His X-Ray machine is an Etch-A-Scetch
Igor is eying your head in the waiting room
Igor is his assistant
In surgery excalims "Anyone for Twister?"
In the middle of a lobotomy, he screams, "The coffeepot!" and promptly exits the OR.
Includes item on your bill for beer and chips
Insists on using zipper instead of stitches- "Just in case"
Instead of the usual rubber gloves, he shows up wearing rubber mittens.
Keeps muttering about how that Mary Shelley had everything all wrong...
Keeps saying "This goes here, right?"
Keeps Singing "Insane in The Membrain, Insane in the Brain" By Cypress Hill
Later you see him trying to see wads of brain-shaped stuff on a street corner.....
Likes to poke your brain to see what funny things you say
Looks in your ear and says "No,no brain here" then nibbles your nose like a gerbil.
Macarena music in operating room.
Medical school shingle is from Frankenstein University.
mentions something about "letting the evil spirits out"
Mistakenly removes brain instead of cancerous tumor.
Motions to the video camera and says, "I've always wanted to be on that Funniest video TV show....."
Mutton and grog-free diet before surgery
no
Offers to do transplant
Operates with a Swiss Army knife
OPP it wasn't a tumer
overheard mumbling: "This is your brain on drugs" followed by wicked laugh.
Plays Emerson, Lake, & Palmer's "Brain Salad Surgery" album backwards during cat scans.
Pokes an ice-pickish-looking-thing in the corners of your eyes and wants to get "them" out of your head.
Refers to your brain as the "chewy caramel center"
Saves some of your brains for food
Says before the operation "Hey, it's not exactly brain surgery...Oh,it is brain surgery
SAYS HE NEEDS TO GIVE YOU RECTAL EXAM TO CHECK FOR EVIL SPIRITS.
Screaming at the nurse for forgetting the staple gun.
Screams, "I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley!"
See copy of "So You Want to be a Brain Surgeon?" on the trasy next to the instruments
She says, "We don't need no stinkin' anesthesia..."
Shows up for surgery with a weedeater and a live chicken
Sings the Barney song as he saws open your skull
Swaps your hemisphere's to make you left handed
Swigs from a mysterious bottle labeled "Cough Syrup" and wears a clown suit in lieu of scrubs
That Black & Decker cordless drill holstered on his waist
The beanie on top of his/her surgical cap
The degree on the wall says "Graduate of Tufts Veterinary College"
The diplomas on his walls are all from psychiatric institutions - and you're not 100% sure he was on the *staff* there...
The giggling.
The Hockey Mask!!!!
The last thing you see before you go under is the foam around his mouth.
The pre-surgery puppet show.
There's a hole in his surgical mask....and he's smoking a cigar through it.
There's an ice cream scoop on the instruments tray
They way he keeps saying "Eh!"
Used to work for Ross Perot
Wears a mask during surgery, Freddy Kruger style!
when he bites your thingy
While looking at your abdomen, he screams, 'What do you mean that's not a neuron?'
Wonders if you are Plug and Play
You go in to get a tumor removed and you walk out wearing a size 36 D.
You overhear "Hmm . . . tastes like chicken"
You see Goat Boy leaving as you enter the doctors office!
~~~from the web~~~
