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  1. #1
    Super Member
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    Apr 2000
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    Shingle Springs California
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    New Holland TC40D

    Default The battle will be lost.. Your Deer

    While talking about the other thread about battling deer last night, my wife and I were held at antler point and forced to post this press release from the local band of deer

    Why We Eat Your Garden
    By the Local Band of Shingle Springs Deer

    We the deer, as the previous tenants on your land, eat in your gardens because we are hungry, and it is there. While this may be obvious to most, there are more complex reasons that add to it.

    One is our increasing populations. Thank you very much for chasing and/or shooting most of the mountain lions! Thanks to your human infiltrations, this pesky predator is much less a threat now. And while there are still a few of you out there that like to go traipsing through the woods with guns, we see you! Fortunately most of you think we are much too cute to shoot or eat. Who needs to with all that lovely packaged stuff in the store?

    Second, an offshoot from the above, more of us need to eat more. If you do take a walk in the woods, you will see that there is not a lot of nice tender young plantling food that we relish. Thank you Cal Fire for all your hard work in suppressing fires that keep our forests and your houses safe, but it does make it harder for us to scratch a meal.
    Tender seedling trees are rare, except in those areas you have fenced off! So if you were hungry, and your “pantry” was empty, where would you go? To the store – HA. Guess what? Your garden is that “store”.

    And oh boy, do you humans know what we like to eat. Roses, thank you very much, are the best! Young tender lily buds, tomatoes, beans, lovely leafy vegetables, all very delicious. And the fruit trees! Excellent grazing! Yes indeed, plant all you like, we enjoy them immensely.

    Now in the winter, we may be forced to eat some things we don’t like as much. Rhododendrens will do, the once-wild ceonothus you have cultivated into a much yummier variety with all the water and fertilizer is not bad in a pinch. But of course we do count on those of you who think we are so cute and actually put out hay for us. Wow, what a treat that is! We will keep coming back for more, and telling our friends and relatives as well!

    We are well aware that most of you humans do not like us eating in your gardens. You put out all kinds of stinky stuff to keep us away, from Irish Spring soap to critter urine. While it may discourage us at first pass, we quickly learn to ignore it.
    We do appreciate the hot sauce you sometimes use, it adds a nice kick to the sometimes bland greens. As for coyote or mountain lion urine, even we know they can’t lift their legs 4 feet in the air to deposit it on those rose bushes. And hair? How scary is hair? We know who put it there. As for that garlic stuff, talk out bad breath and gas. It took some getting used to, but it has become quite an aquired taste for many of us. I actually look forward to it now.

    So, if you think I am going to tell you what does work to keep us away, think again, I most certainly am not. Maybe you can figure something out, but we sure hope not. Keep on plantin’!

    Sincerely, Deirdre Doe Deersky, Shingle Springs

    Editors note: The Master Gardeners, however, will tell you how to keep deer out of your garden, and what plants Ms. Deersky may not like as much. Come to the class June 30, 9AM at the Ag building.

    This was actually an advertisement for the class my wife, a Master Gardener, gave in Placerville today regarding deer proofing and planting of deer resistant plant varieties
    RobertN in Shingle Springs Calif

  2. #2
    Silver Member
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    Oct 2006
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    130

    Default Re: The battle will be lost.. Your Deer

    Ms. Deersky and family, I would like to introduce you to my crossbow and broadheads. I think you would enjoy meeting them in my backyard. Many of your friends have, and then take a nice long nap on the way to the grinder.

  3. #3
    Super Star Member Thomas's Avatar
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    Lebanon,NH.
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    Kubota L2800HST w/Frontloader & CC LTX1046

    Default Re: The battle will be lost.. Your Deer

    Morn Robert.
    You just about hit the nail on the head w/that...w/your permission I like to pass it along.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member
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    Jan 2001
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    Alberta
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    Kubota B2410 with turfs

    Default Re: The battle will be lost.. Your Deer

    Some of us are very good at feeding the deer I took the time to put up a deer fence around my "orchard". I've planted cherry trees, plum, pear, apple, honeyberry, saskatoons, blueberries and raspberried. However, apparently I need to put up an IDIOT sign for myself when I leave the fenced enclosure. It will say something like "Don't Forget to Shut the Gate"

    Cherry trees likely need to be replaced. I'll have to see about the apples, I think they'll make it. The rest seem ok.

    Oh, and they didn't bother touching the 5-6 ACRES of nice juicy pasture grass on the other side of the fence!!!!!!
    Kevin

  5. #5
    Super Member
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    Apr 2000
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    Shingle Springs California
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    New Holland TC40D

    Default Re: The battle will be lost.. Your Deer

    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas
    Morn Robert.
    w/your permission I like to pass it along.
    Sure!

    It was a lead-in to the deer-proofing clas my wife taught yesterday. It was in the local newspaper too. She did a class on how to minimize deer damage in the yard.
    RobertN in Shingle Springs Calif

  6. #6
    Elite Member ToadHill's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
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    Catt county New York
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    Kioti DK35, Ford 8N, Oliver Cletrac

    Default Re: The battle will be lost.. Your Deer

    Knight, The apples will recover, I've had a heck of a lot of deer damage to mine and they have recovered well. The good news is that even standing on their back legs they can only reach up about 6 ft. so grow them tall.
    I can't control my day but I can control my attitude.

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