Deer Roping.

[johnk]

I got this in an email and found it great reading. If you need some humor in your day read this....


For those who haven't read this yet, it's definitely worth reading.
Unfortunately there is no validation or information about where it is from
or any background whatsoever but its a good read none the less.

"Deer Roping"

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it
up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since
they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away),

it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
not having any part of it.

After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely
looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The
deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist
and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood
and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole
rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a
little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand. There
looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you
start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger
than a
cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with
a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and
twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting
close to it.

As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it
occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea
as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much
stamina as many animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me
off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes
to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the
big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get
that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go
with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die a

slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. Truth be
known, I hated the thing would venture a guess that the feeling was mut ual.
Despite the gash in my head

and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's
momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me
across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that
there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility
for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a
slow death.

I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a
little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to
back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have
thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold o f my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they
just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost
like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a
deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming
and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was
biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several
seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing up my right arm, I reached up
with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final
lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their
front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about
head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you
with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try
to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a
horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work.

In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed
like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT
to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good
chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so
different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three
times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the
back of the head and knocked me down.

You should be interested to know that when a deer paws at you and knocks you
down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the
danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and
covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I
had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt
broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in
a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most
of the worst of it.

I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck,
covered in blood and dust.
The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out
yelling "what happened?"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an
individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have
overlooked entirely. However, knowing the lengths to which law enforcement
personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may
find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I
swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid
played NO part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer".

I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all
over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all
over me and a large deer print o n my face where it had struck me there. I
asked him to call somebody to come get me.. I didn't think I could make it
home on my own. He did.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know
about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and
wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the
attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain
hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the ****
out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op
has a big mouth).. For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house
when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they
filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER
anybody around here.

I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk," I
have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and
whispering "there is the idiot that tried to rope the deer."

 

[Robert_in_NY]

I can speak from experience you never wrap the rope around you or your wrist when you rope a deer (even a drugged deer).

We shoot our deer with a drug that makes them drowsy, sometimes they fall asleep. Anyway, when they get drowsy we get set up to rope them (these are 200-300 pound bucks that we are roping). First thing, we get a long rope (100'), the box we are going to put them in 2'x4'x4', a New Holland TN65 with loader and at least 2 men educated with this situation (that means my dad and me).

Well, we have to slowly stalk the deer as even being drowsy they can run faster then me. So usually my dad distracts the deer and keeps its attention as I sneak up behind them. Once I am close enough I put the rope around their antlers (I don't want to choke). At this point you put out a good lead on the rope and the other guy hurries up and grab holds of the rope with me (make sure you have good leather gloves). Once you have two guys we out weight the deer and can slow him down and this is when the 100' rope comes in handy. You run it thru the box and the loader so one person has more leverage to hold the end of the rope by themselves. I then go and try to get the deer to move closer to the box and as it gets closer my dad takes up the slack on the rope. Once the deer is in full lock down and not going to move any more is when I have to either grab the rope and try to tug him to move forward or push the deer towards the box. Once the deer is at the box is when it gets fun as for some reason they don't want to walk in. You tie the rope off to the loader and both guys have to push the deer in the box and lower the door at the same time. Then use the loader to carry the box to the truck and start the process again if you are moving more then one (we usually move 3 at a time).

Everyone of our friends that have asked to help and actually helped has never volunteered to help again. Our one friend helped us to give shots to a tame doe. We had to tackle her (she wasn't drugged), my dad and I are the only ones she trust though. Anyway, my dad and I managed to get her to the ground and our friend jumped on to help hold her down while his wife gave the shots. Well, we told him as soon as we say to let go roll away as fast as you can. He didn't and got kicked in the back. He never volunteered to help again either

Anyone who thinks whitetail deer are small and easy to handle has never tried it. They are easily one of the strongest animals for thier weight.

And anyone who has the bright idea like the e-mail John posted about locking a wild deer into a stall is in for a rude awaking. The deer will destroy the stall, seriously hurt or kill the guy or his kids if they get into the stall or the deer will shut down and die on his own. They are very dangerous animals if captured and locking them in a small stall will only put them into a fight mode. This story posted is funny but I have no doubt there is a lot of truth behind it as I hear people talk about trying to capture a deer at least once a year at sportsman shows.

 

[tallyho8]

I had a bad day and really needed a pick-me-up. Thanks for the story, I needed the laughs.

 

[Ray2310]

Thanks for posting.. My wife and I are in tears.

 

[Tororider]

I hurt myself laughing, my throat is killing me as I was trying to be quiet since my kids and wife are asleep upstairs. That is easily one of the funniest things I have ever read.

 

[dooleysm]

My cousin once grabbed a deer by the leg when he was squirrel hunting. He was sitting under a tree and the deer walked right up beside him. I don't know what he planned to do with the deer, but it kicked the tar out of him before he let go.

 

[meadowlarkponds]

Great story. Really enjoyed reading it.

 

[Podunkadunk]

A high school buddy of mine was deer hunting in NW Florida with the aid of dogs. All of his hunting club had been trailing the dogs, who was trailing a nice buck. "Dan" (name changed to protect the stupid) was in a boat with his younger brother on a large river. There job was to report that the deer had crossed the river, thus, they would stop the dogs and find something else to run, (or something of that nature anyhow, it's been over 24 years since this happened). Anyway, the deer hit the river and starts swimming to the other side, which is about 75-100 yards across. Because it's illegal to hunt deer from a boat, they didn't have a firearm, only a radio to call the other hunters. It's the middle of January and really cold for NW FL.

Dan tells his younger brother to pull alongside the deer who is totally submerged, except for head and rack. Dan thought it would be easy to simply "drown" the buck and then pull him into the boat. Hmmmm.

So, Dan (who is over 6 feet and 220 lbs) reaches down, grabs the buck by his horns and tries to push him under the water. The deer was having none of that and with the slightest "flick" of his head, uprooted Dan from the boat and into the water with him. Of course he had no life preserver on, so the deer drowning episode quickly turned into a brother rescue. Dan was pulled out of the water, cold, but otherwise ok. He still tells that story ocassionally and it gets funnier and funnier the older we get.

Podunk

 

[gordon21]

John K: Thank you for posting your deer story. I need for you to contact our Law Office asap. The deer involved in your incident has retained our team of attorneys to bring a civil suit against you. We will be suing for $182.15 and 3000 bags of corn.

Your claim that "I got this in an e-mail" is so transparent. It's sorta like the guy who always asks an idiotic question for his "friend or neighbor".

We fully anticipate you will want a trial before your peers. Jury selection will include at least a couple neighbors and the parts guy at the tractor dealership who has always had it in for you.

 

[johnk]

I'll be in court as long as the jury box isn't full of deer...