A septic system is designed(here in NC) for the number of bedrooms, not # of tolets/baths etc. They do that because they figure each person uses x amount of water per day, either flushing, showering, or washing clothes... If you over taxing the system then your going to have problems. A system(tank size and drain field) is designed for a certain GPD(gallons per day) This gives the solids/sludge time to settle to the bottom of the septic tank and so only grey water makes it into the lateral lines and into the ground.
Decomposition in the tank is anerobic(with out O2) and decomposition in the ground in aerobic(with O2). So while most of the solids should be broken down in the tank, if you flow more water into/through the tank than it was designed for then yes some solids may make it out to the field.
A lot of factors determine the amount of decomposition in the tank(temp, PH, and type of solids). Of course grease, bleach, food scraps should not go into the system in any quantity. If your filling your tank up to %50 in 3 years that's pretty quick and you should look into either a larger system or using less water/w3tcompact/icons/hmm.gif.
As far as sludge in the lateral lines, in our LPP system I "flush" the lines every 6 months, I only see a small amount(1-2seconds) of "black" before it turns clear/grey. With a gravity feed system it's harder to do this type of flushing.
A septic system, if designed, installed, and used properly should work for many years without any problems at all, it's when one or more of those 3 aren't when problems occur. Once a system fails, then all kinds of trouble occurs.
The county should have a record of your system(if installed in the last 20yrs for sure) if you have question about size and layout.
gary