Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21
  1. #1
    Platinum Member ustmd's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    712
    Location
    Manor, TX (outside of Austin)
    Tractor
    Kioti CK27 HST

    Default 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    This is from "The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog" (The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog | Given the choice between a cube dweller and a tractor. Talk to the tractor.)

    I thought you would all get a kick out of it.

    Note: His language is adult.

    1.You have much less money than you think.
    2.Don't quit your day job. See #1.
    3.Baby skunks are the sweetest cutest little fluffballs you've ever seen. Shoot them; in the head.
    4.Every redneck with a spare acre of overgrazed farmland will put a cow on it. If you automatically buy a cow, you may be a redneck. If you ponder the best use of your pasture you may be on the path to homesteading. If you buy a llama you are doomed.
    5.If deer eat your garden; eat the deer. Humanity evolved to be a bad ***. Rise to the occasion.
    6.Hippies, God bless them, become a lot more realistic after raccoons kill their chickens and the pipes freeze.
    7.Squirrels, birds, snakes, and other woodland creatures enjoy ruining your plans. It is your job to demonstrate your superior position on the evolutionary ladder. After a while they'lllearn that you are not nature's bitch and back off. Unless you are; in which case they'll take over your house and party like the Green Bay Packers on acid.
    8.Get this month's copy of Mother Earth News. Then burn it.
    9.Jackie Clay is smarter than you.
    10.Tools, chainsaws, buckets, mauls you need a whole lotta **** to reduce materialism. Go figure.
    11.The closer you are to carbon neutral the more ridiculous the concept will seem.
    12.If you need to consult with zoning rules before buying a chicken move.
    13.Debt will beat your *** like a tambourine. You have been warned.
    14.There is a vast gulf between the critter you are raising in a barn and dinner on a plate. Cross it.
    15.When all else fails and you think there's no hope; swallow your pride, drive to town, and eat at the diner.
    16.It is entirely possible to know six languages and have mastered advanced particle physics yet screw up planting an apple tree.
    17.Pay attention to geezers. A lot of old people know their ****.
    18.A lawn is not landscaping. It is a flexible use storage facility and a defensive perimeter between you and nature.
    19.Ideally a dog should be roughly the size (and possibly the intelligence) of an eight cylinder engine block.
    20.It is entirely possible to spend two grand making a gallon of maple syrup that you'll sell for $60. Do not try to explain the logic of this to your accountant.
    21.You have an accountant? Well lah de dah! I suppose you've got a butler too?
    22.If you find a real mechanic treat him well. Ladies, you may want to consider marrying him. The rest of us are trying to swim against the tide of a disposable society and it sucks. We want your mechanic's number.
    23.You may find yourself daydreaming of backhoes and fences when you used to dream about yachts and Lamborghinis.
    24.It is said that the average person can go only three days without outside resources like grocery stores. You will soon realize that the average person can't read this sentence without a support team.
    25.If your doctor says that homesteading is not exercise, punch him with the flabby unused muscles you developed lifting 100 pound bags of feed.
    26.Flannel sheets are worth it. Lumberjack plaid goes with everything. Denim jeans aren't officially worn out until the third round of patches.
    27.Keep a jackknife in your pocket.
    Last edited by ustmd; 07-24-2011 at 01:43 PM. Reason: formating

  2. #2
    Epic Contributor k0ua's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    23,268
    Location
    Branson, Mo.
    Tractor
    Kioti DK35se Hydrostat

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    James K0UA

    Kioti DK35se hydrostat with 2 QA buckets, 48 inch. King Kutter Rotary Cutter. 750 lbs ballast box. Loaded tires, Construction Attachments SSQA Lightweight Pallet forks. EA 50 inch single lid "wicked" Grapple. Satisfied Everlast PA160 welder owner NRA Life Member How to add a link to a post . Best way to search TBN .


  3. #3
    Super Member bp fick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    5,627
    Location
    Beaver Creek, Northern Michigan
    Tractor
    Kubota BX2360

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    From the same blog:

    Given the choice between a cube dweller and a tractor. Talk to the tractor.
    BP


    "Some chickens, some gardens and a Kubota."

  4. #4
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    7,685
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Tractor
    Kubota's, John Deere's

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    Quote Originally Posted by ustmd View Post
    This is from "The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog" (The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog | Given the choice between a cube dweller and a tractor. Talk to the tractor.)

    I thought you would all get a kick out of it.

    ....
    Too funny.....

    28. If something big breaks, leave it in a corner of the field for the next owner of the farm.
    29. If you want to remodel the farm house or barns, think about moving back to the suburbs.

  5. #5
    Elite Member jonyyuma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,972
    Location
    35 miles North of Memphis,TN
    Tractor
    kubota L3000dt, ford 8n1952

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    30. Keep a small caliber handgun in your left trousers pocket, if you don't carry a large knife. Murphy's law always applies...
    Okay, Legal disclaimer: Old but not senile, definitely do not have the answer to everything!

  6. #6
    Elite Member zzvyb6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    3,208
    Location
    michigan
    Tractor
    jd 1070

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    You can never have too many tractors.
    There is no "I" in team, but there is a "Me" if you want to jumble it up a bit...

  7. #7
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    125
    Location
    White, SD

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    22.If you find a real mechanic treat him well. Ladies, you may want to consider marrying him. The rest of us are trying to swim against the tide of a disposable society and it sucks. We want your mechanic's number.


    My wife still claims this is why she married me.
    2011 JD 2520, 62D mower, 647 tiller, 200cx loader and ballast box, JD 45 gallon HP sprayer

  8. #8
    Silver Member Chef Pa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    172
    Location
    Ohio
    Tractor
    JD 3010 4300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kep

    My wife still claims this is why she married me.
    Mine used to be good lookin' AND mechanic. A few years ago that changed to just mechanic

  9. #9
    Elite Member jonyyuma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,972
    Location
    35 miles North of Memphis,TN
    Tractor
    kubota L3000dt, ford 8n1952

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef Pa View Post
    Mine used to be good lookin' AND mechanic. A few years ago that changed to just mechanic
    Ahhhh, and father time is doing that to the rest of us too....
    Okay, Legal disclaimer: Old but not senile, definitely do not have the answer to everything!

  10. #10
    Elite Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    3,840
    Location
    nicholson, pa
    Tractor
    John Deer Lt160

    Default Re: 27 Things you need to know before buying the farm.

    Love the comment about the llama. but my favorite is
    You have an accountant? Well lah de dah! I suppose you've got a butler too?

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. 40-55hp CUT or Utility Tractor for 20 acre horse farm in Michigan
    By Z-Michigan in forum Buying/Pricing/Comparisons
    Replies: 121
    Last Post: 06-23-2013, 10:08 AM
  2. Old Farm Hoes: Gas vs. Diesel
    By TBigLug in forum Construction Equipment
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 11-20-2012, 01:43 PM
  3. How long does it take U to do Maint.?
    By 9973720wb19 in forum Owning/Operating
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 06-21-2011, 01:59 PM
  4. Farm Kids at work-Pics
    By N80 in forum Rural Living
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 01-14-2008, 10:34 AM
  5. Insurance What insurance company do you use?
    By mars1952 in forum Owning/Operating
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 04-15-2007, 09:32 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
© 2016 TractorByNet.com. TractorByNet is a registered trademark of IMC Digital Universe, Inc. Other trademarks on this page are the property of their respective owners.