I know there is a Joke thread but this is just too good to bury,..

   / I know there is a Joke thread but this is just too good to bury,.. #11  
Wow! My mom crashed in that poor man's front yard! Sorry!


Actual question I asked my mom one day while riding with her.

Me: MOM! OMG! Why are you going 100!!!

Mom: Well, my speedometer says I can do 160!
 
   / I know there is a Joke thread but this is just too good to bury,.. #12  
On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules.

"The female sleeping quarters will be off limits for all males, and the male sleeping quarters will be off limits to the females. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $20.00 the first time. The fines are very progressive and a second offense will cost $60.00. A third offense will cost $180.00
Are there any questions?"

At this point an older gent in the crowd stood up and inquired: "How much for a season pass"
 
   / I know there is a Joke thread but this is just too good to bury,.. #13  
I forgot my glasses!

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me," and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.

She said,"Are you nuts? You're 72 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me,"Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." I told her.

She fainted. Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.
 
 
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