juvenile boot camps

[Anonymous Poster]

Is anyone here familiar with them or involved with them in any way?

 

[wroughtn_harv]

I think your old man is too old for them. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I doubt if they're like the one I went through spring of 66. I was seventeen and a handfull. So my parents signed for me to visit this place for some training and a little travel. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Anonymous Poster]

You're right, after the first ten pushups he'd need a stretcher!

I may be acting prematurely, but I'll put it before the 'board'.

Jake. I love him to death, and for all his virtues, he also has issues. One of them is disrespect. The other is sticky fingers. Not in any major way, but stealing big or little is stealing. I bought a box of altoid's mints, simple pleasures you know. He not only helped himself to them, he moved the box to his room and hid it. May sound trivial, but he does this kind of thing to all of us regularly. I cannot seem to get it through his head that just because he lives here he is not free to take what he wants when he wants it.

The disrespect...an example....

When I was preparing to go out of town on Friday afternoon, he came in and announced that he was going fishing with mumble mumble over at mumble mumble's aunt's house.

I said..who....what? No. You can't leave now, dad and I are leaving and I want you to stay here, I don't know those people and I don't want you going off where I can't check on you.

He said..oh yes, I am going. I made these plans days ago and they are coming to pick me up and I am not going to tell them that they wasted a trip coming ten miles out here to get me.

Argument ensued, full blown, he also was told via radio by his father not to leave, ten minutes later I heard the front door slam. I called Fred and he basically said 'I'm not going to let this ruin my trip but when we get back he is going to be sorry that he ever drew his first breath.' Mmmm.

Jake came back before Fred got home so I called him and let him know so that he would have a chance to cool down before he got home. Then while we were gone, he took the keys to the toyota pickup and according to neighbors, drove to the corner store. This involved about three hundred yards of highway driving. He drives around the dirt roads near the house and in the grove but knows he is not to venture onto hard roads. The older he gets the more chances he takes and the more he pushes the envelope. I'm proud of him for his accomplishments, he is smart and articulate and has a kind heart, but he is also hard headed and independent and self centered and on the average day he will push me to the point that I want to squash his head like a melon. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[Mrwurm]

Some teenagers have a harder time than others with the transition from child to adult. If we are successful, we have trained them to make their own decisions and become adults. This, though, is in conflict with the fact that we still want to make some decisions for them. Like, when and where they can go fishing.

 

[MarkV]

Boys can be a pain in their teens. I know that my folks would be happy to tell you about a few of my exploits during those years. They sure like to remind me at every opportunity they get. Fortunately I turned out perfect so all worked out well. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Here is my opinion on the boot camp idea. I have a nephew that is more than a problem and has gotten into some serious trouble in the past. He spent some involuntary court ordered time at a boot camp and I do think it helped, BUT it sure didn't solve his problems. Now for a kid that is going through Jake's somewhat normal teenage rebellious stage, boot camp could well offer him the opportunity to gain some education from my nephew and his buddies. You would not want that! Of course there may be less hardcore boot camps but I don't think many would have a population that didn't have more serious issues than you are describing.

Good luck,
MarkV

 

[Anonymous Poster]

Fortunately I turned out perfect so all worked out well. Lol~!


See that's what I was worried about as well. Learning tricks of the trade from those who have been around the block a few times, or worse yet, being a target. I know one thing, the mere 'threat' of a boot camp atmosphere seems to get his attention. I told him yesterday he couldn't have 'another' soda. He snuck behind my back and tried to get it anyway. I said, well there's always boot camp, I found out where I can send you for free.

You'd send me to boot camp for taking a soda?

No, I'd send you for deliberate disobedience. Look at the big picture boy!

 

[Boone]

I agree, don't let him mix with those at boot camps (or on the way to one,) they send some real bad news characters to those places that are more than willing to train your son and or recruit him while he is around them.

In Wisconsin if you ride along in a car with someone that does a crime, you can very easily go down for the crime. Convicted as Party to a Crime, the sentence can be the same as the perpetrator. If your state has these laws, you have a reason to be concerned with who he is hanging with.

Just curious, why did you really call Jake's dad for him?

Good luck with your son.

 

[Golfgar4]

Cindi, you must be mistaken. His name isn't Jake - it's Tom. My son Tom!

Everything you descibed could be applied to my son. Although we never thought about boot camp per se, we did seriously consider military school! The mention of that always seemed to get Tom's attention too! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

I don't know how old Jake is, but Tom is now 23, and we haven't seen a lot of improvement. He's been out on his own (on the east coast) since he was 18, and it seems to have been one thing after another that we had to bail him out of. Not literally! He's never gotten to the point of doing anything illegal (thank God for small favors! /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif) But he would make really poor decisions and we'd end up having to pay (literally! /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif) for those mistakes. The most recent event cost me over $4,000.00 to get his car (really MY car since my name is on the lease papers - but he's supposed to make the monthly payments - Yeah, right! /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif) fixed after being in an accident. Why didn't insurance pay for the repairs you ask? Believe me, I asked the exact same question. Seems that he decided that he didn't need to spend the money on insurance since he was such a good driver !

Anway, imagine our surprise when he called to tell us that he has decided to join the Navy! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
When I asked him what made him to decide to do that, he said he realizes that he <font color="red"> he needs direction in his life, and knows he needs to grow up </font> ! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif I couldn't believe it. He went on to say that he could use the military to finish his education, and he was seriously thinking of making it a career!

Well, this post has gotten longer than I wanted. I guess I just wanted you to know that things will probably get better. It just might take a little time. I know how frustrating having that kind of kid around is, but it sounds like he's not doing anything really bad or dangerous. Keep working with him, be firm and don't back down, and everyone will get through it! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Good luck! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Anonymous Poster]

Because I really wanted to give him a chance to calm down. For many reasons. I mainly wanted to let dad off the hook so that he wouldn't have it in the back of his mind the whole time he was tying up loose ends at work, tyring to get out of there, that he had to come home and have a confrontation with Jake, or worse yet, leave to go out of town with his son awol. It was more more Fred's sake than Jake's, but I'm sure Jake benefited from it somewhat. Are you thinking I was trying to protect Jake?

 

[Anonymous Poster]

Thank you thank you golfgar for the inspirational words. Also for the head's up on the vehicle deal.

We have been telling Jake what happens to people who just take what they want. We also tell him that if and when the day comes that he finds himself behind bars for a 'mistake in judgement', that it will be entirely up to him to get himself out. No bail money here bud. I think he knows we mean it, but I suspect that we may have to prove it one day, and by golly we will too.