sandybeach
Bronze Member
The Law of Rocks
In a contest between humans and rocks, always bet on the the rocks.
Corollaries to The Law of Rocks
Rocks are lighter than soil; they float to the surface.
Important rocks exist only where they where they impede human activity; all other rocks are superfluous.
A rock's size is inversely proportional to the cube of the sum of the energy required plus the time required to relocate your excavation.
A rock's mischief and sense of humor always overpower a human's urgency.
A rock always wins. Even when playing Paper, Scissors, Rock - the rock knows, like a martial artist, how to turn Paper's strength to Rock's advantage.
If you get a bigger shovel, the rock will grow in volume proportionate to the square of the surface area of the shovel.
If you attempt to blast a rock, it will move in unexpected ways.
If you attempt to locate a structure on bedrock, there will be a hidden spring.
The only rocks which you can move easily are those rocks whose movement will cause adjacent soil to collapse.
Rocks are Zen-like: a pebble in one soldier's shoe can stop an army.
Rocks are more patient than humans: even the lowly lump of coal knows that if it takes enough heat and withstands enough pressure, it will someday be a diamond.
Brute force is useless against rocks: a glacier can move rocks thousands of miles, grinding them first into gravel, then into clay, and eventually into a hardpan which is more impervious than the original rocks.
A piece of 5/8" gravel costs $0.0000005; a windshield replacement costs $250; you do the math.
Picture a scene from a Roadrunner cartoon: Wiley Coyote pounds a rock with a sledge hammer; he is lifted off the ground and his body vibrates violently in mid-air. This scene is not a joke; it is based on reality.
A rock can hide in a hard, slick boot sole and resist brushing off on the doormat, just to scratch your freshly finished hardwood floor.
A rock rake on a tractor is most effective when used to fling rocks at the tractor operator.
A rock used as a projectile in a slingshot will fly straight and true until the last possible moment; then it will dart, dodge, curve, sink, rise or otherwise miss the target. A baseball pitcher would be proud make a pitch to do that.
When others are at the lake watching you throw, a "skipping stone" won't.
Rocks erupt from below the surface just before the mower gets there.
If you are digging
post holes whose locations are critical,
You may copy and distribute, all or in part, through any medium - media known past, present, and future - to the human species and to any alien species.
Just play fair and include proper attribution
In a contest between humans and rocks, always bet on the the rocks.
Corollaries to The Law of Rocks
Rocks are lighter than soil; they float to the surface.
Important rocks exist only where they where they impede human activity; all other rocks are superfluous.
A rock's size is inversely proportional to the cube of the sum of the energy required plus the time required to relocate your excavation.
A rock's mischief and sense of humor always overpower a human's urgency.
A rock always wins. Even when playing Paper, Scissors, Rock - the rock knows, like a martial artist, how to turn Paper's strength to Rock's advantage.
If you get a bigger shovel, the rock will grow in volume proportionate to the square of the surface area of the shovel.
If you attempt to blast a rock, it will move in unexpected ways.
If you attempt to locate a structure on bedrock, there will be a hidden spring.
The only rocks which you can move easily are those rocks whose movement will cause adjacent soil to collapse.
Rocks are Zen-like: a pebble in one soldier's shoe can stop an army.
Rocks are more patient than humans: even the lowly lump of coal knows that if it takes enough heat and withstands enough pressure, it will someday be a diamond.
Brute force is useless against rocks: a glacier can move rocks thousands of miles, grinding them first into gravel, then into clay, and eventually into a hardpan which is more impervious than the original rocks.
A piece of 5/8" gravel costs $0.0000005; a windshield replacement costs $250; you do the math.
Picture a scene from a Roadrunner cartoon: Wiley Coyote pounds a rock with a sledge hammer; he is lifted off the ground and his body vibrates violently in mid-air. This scene is not a joke; it is based on reality.
A rock can hide in a hard, slick boot sole and resist brushing off on the doormat, just to scratch your freshly finished hardwood floor.
A rock rake on a tractor is most effective when used to fling rocks at the tractor operator.
A rock used as a projectile in a slingshot will fly straight and true until the last possible moment; then it will dart, dodge, curve, sink, rise or otherwise miss the target. A baseball pitcher would be proud make a pitch to do that.
When others are at the lake watching you throw, a "skipping stone" won't.
Rocks erupt from below the surface just before the mower gets there.
If you are digging
post holes whose locations are critical, - The only rock will be where you need to dig the th hole.
- Holes 1...(n-1)will be deceptively rock-free.
- The volume of the rock in hole will equal the sum total of the volume of the rocks that would normally have been in holes 1...(n-1)
You may copy and distribute, all or in part, through any medium - media known past, present, and future - to the human species and to any alien species.
Just play fair and include proper attribution
