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  1. #1
    Platinum Member
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    Default Why we SHOOT deer

    A friend just posted this on FB:

    Why we shoot deer in the wild:

    I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

    The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

    That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

    It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

    That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!

    All these events are true so help me God...An Educated Farmer

  2. #2
    Platinum Member terry.dinerman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    ....I....can't.....catch.....my......breath.....fr om.....laughing.....so.....so.....so....HARD.....! !!!!

    Like Gramma said....as she raised her wooden spoon like a samurai sword...

    "...there is learning....and then, there is EDUCATION...."

    Thank you so very much for sharing your enlightenment!!!!!

    Terry
    "...As I get older, I find that any day in which my gratitude exceeds my expectations is a good day..."

    ----- Ray Wylie Hubbard, musician



  3. #3
    Elite Member Coyote machine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    Bambi on crack! That's hilarious! Imagine the story the deer had to tell when it got home!!
    2010 DK-40se/hst, Kioti KL-401 FEL, (with reversible Kioti cutting edge), 72" Ratchet Rake. Fit Rite Top-N-Tilt hydraulics & diverter valve. HLA Series 2000 7' snowplow, Aquiline MPC rear chains.

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  4. #4
    Elite Member Redneck in training's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    I believe it. In fact there was a movie making circles around the cyberspace about a guy luring a deer while his wife was filming it. Search youtube for deer hunter attacked by deer
    Ladia

  5. #5
    Super Member texasjohn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    Have seen this before. I dunno if it is true, but could be. Yes it is funny.

    Problem is rooted in him tying off to his waist...dumb regardless of what you have roped. Best to take a wrap around a post or pipe rack in pickup bed and take up slack as the opportunity presents. Tie off when head is well constrained. Now, take 2nd rope (I know you have one) and rope rear legs to put it on ground. NOW you have a chance of hog tying if you can approach from back side and constrain legs remembering they, unlike cows, can reach further up their backsides with rear legs.

    That said, bad idea from beginning. Deer are terribly stressed when captured and such treatment would lead to a 95% chance of death from stress. I have a cousin who knows of a deer relocation project involving tie downs....death was almost certain. Deer can be captured and relocated with good survival rates but it's not easy.
    Joy is having the tools you need and needing the tools you have!

    Kubota 5030 HSTC, BB, Danueser PHD, LA853 QA HD FEL w JD toothbar, 3pt chisel, 3 pt disk, 6' shredder, Kubota FEL hay spike, 3pt hay fork w carryall, Kubota RTV 1140

  6. #6
    Gold Member cletus99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    Hahaha reminds me of something I would see on Duck Dynasty. I couldn't help but hear Jase Robertson's voice in my head as I was reading it.

  7. #7
    Super Member 2LaneCruzer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    I have no doubt that scenario could happen. I recall a story my Dad told me about a similar incident. We lived in Pawhuska OK during WWII, and there were lots of deer and lots of cowboys. On dark night, one of the local cowboys decided to rope an in-the-headlights deer, which he accomplished without too much of a problem. He snubbed it down to the bumper of his nearly new '36 Plymouth. The deer proceeded to completely demolish the front of they guys car; especially the grill. He cut it loose and let it go.
    Have Wings, Will Travel.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member pjbci's Avatar
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    Default

    I had to wipe my eyes countless times to read the whole story. Still laughing.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Ted Summey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    I roped a calf ONCE.

  10. #10
    Silver Member
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    Default Re: Why we SHOOT deer

    That was like a redneck Dave Barry column! (intended as a compliment)

    Thanks for posting. I had to stop myself from LOLing several times at work.

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