Bankruptcy: Santa files Chapt 11, Wal Mart blamed

[Bob_Skurka]

From a newspaper in St. Louis


"Troubled toy-maker Santa Claus, Inc., (NYSE: XMAS) has announced that it has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, the latest victim of the retailing juggernaut that is Wal-Mart, Inc.


Santa N. Claus, XMAS chairman and CEO, said his 2,000-year-old firm would lay off 2,500 workers at its North Pole toy factory. Claus said manufacturing would be shifted to factories in China and Korea.


Claus also announced the liquidation of 'certain livestock assets,' specifically, eight tiny reindeer working in XMAS' delivery operations. 'We can't afford on-time delivery any more,' Claus said bitterly, 'not when Wal-Mart has people coming to 4,300 stores around the world to pick the stuff up for themselves.'


The action by XMAS follows the announcement that the upscale FAO Schwarz toy company had sought bankruptcy protection. In November, Toys 'R' Us, the $11 billion toy chain, announced a $38 million third-quarter loss, closed 182 stores and laid off 3,000 workers.


Over the past year, FAO Schwarz has closed its Zany Brainy stores, and Toys 'R' Us has closed 146 Kids 'R' Us clothing stores and its Imaginarium toy stores. Toys 'R' Us shares have dropped 73 percent to around $11.75 in the past decade.


Not coincidentally, in the past decade Wal-Mart has more than doubled its share of the nation's annual $25 billion toy business. Nearly one in every four dollars spent on toys in the United States goes to Wal-Mart.


Claus explained, 'Take your Hokey Pokey Elmo, the 'it' toy for this year. Wal-Mart is selling Hokey Pokey Elmo at $19.46. That's 30 percent under list and about what it costs me to make it. They sell toys at low margin and make it up on volume. Plus, they use toys as loss leaders, getting people into their stores and selling them other stuff while they're there. I don't sell tires and groceries, and besides, the delivery costs would kill me. Man doesn't live on milk and cookies alone, you know.'


Economists predicted that competing with Wal-Mart would make Claus' operation more efficient. 'Wal-Mart is the greatest thing that ever happened to low-income Americans,' W. Michael Cox, chief economist of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas, told the New York Times. 'They can stretch their dollars and afford things they otherwise couldn't.'


Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Ark., a company spokesperson said the firm would soon debut 'Sammy Claus,' a Christmas mascot modeled on the company's late founder, Sam Walton. 'Sammy Claus and his trusty bird dog, Roy, will fly through the air in a magic bass boat pulled by an old pickup truck,' the spokesman said. 'Sammy Claus will wear a blue vest, and instead of 'Ho, ho, ho,' he'll be saying, 'Low, low, low.'


Informed that Sammy Claus would soon be coming to town, Santa Claus was philosophical. 'I guess I can get a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart.' "

 

[Old_Hickory]

I do not have too much sympathy for Santa Claus and Co.
Being he is located at the North Pole he is a foreign company in a foreign land.
Its not too often anymore an American company puts a foreign company out of business. I think the Reindeer would be in high demand with the onslaught of Mad Cow. The Elves can cross the border and come in as illegal aliens and find work.
Go Walmart /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

 

[Gatorboy]

I didn't realize that Santa Claus was in it for profits -- I thought his work was out of the kindness of his heart.

 

[AndyM]

I thought North Pole, Alaska WAS in the United States. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

But Walmart does buy from American companies, it's just their products that are made in China.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

 

[JASTN70D]

I think Santa is just trying to cover his cost's. Maybe he needs to reduce his overhead.? He could expand his naughty list or maybe move south were he could grow his own feed for those ravenous reindeer. Hey maybe Santa needs a CUT /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Junkman]

Additional information:

2003 Memo from Santa.

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no
longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Louisiana, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands
with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.

His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that
children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon
dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh
does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

 

[PineRidge]

What Santa really needs is a wake up call. He’s been around for so long that he’s sitting back on his old fashioned laurels. He thinks there is no competition out there for Christmas deliveries. Hasn’t he seen all those brown UPS trucks out there today?

Walmart seems to be going for Santa’s juggler vein, I heard they wanted to start competing with the big grocery chains next. Why I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if I saw “Santa’s Reindeer Venison Patties” show up in the Walmart meat cases.

 

[Old_Hickory]

I was thinking of the North Poles/North Pole.
But hey,I just know Santa is real and thats all that matters to me.

 

[rockinmywaypa]

Last time I looked at the map the north pole was surrounded by Canadian soil.

 

[rdam]

</font><font color="blueclass=small">( I thought North Pole, Alaska WAS in the United States. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! )</font>

Duhhh. that's CANADA. Where do you think ice comes from? It's where freezing to death was invented.

You probably think NEW MEXICO is part of the United States too. It's a foreign country between Nafta and Old Mexico. The border is known as the Mason-Dixon demilitirized zone. John Deere builds engines and snowblowers there.

siport edgukation