do you loan your trailer out

[firemanpat2910]

Originally Posted by RobJ

I bet everyone who said "no" borrowed tools from their dad as kids, teens, and older...as I did and lost them. My problem was leaving them in the yard, in the grass to be found months later. Or leaving them where we were building a "fort". I bet yall also borrowed their car now and then, maybe before you had your own car.

Wonder what would have happened if your parents said NO all the time. I'm glad mine didn't, we're family! IMO a lot different than a friend or neighbor. Food for thought.

17 years old, bought my first tool set, 100 piece craftsman socket and wrench set, carried it straight to grandaddys shop too show it off, he picks up 3 1/2 drive sockets and tosses them into the yard.. What The Heck ?I scream!!!!
"now you know how I feel"he snickered, then helped me find them, we then had a mutual respect for each others tools and I never left one of his outside ever again. He has sinced passed away and I have all his tools and if it rains his are the first I pickup and put back in the box!!

[Bird]

Originally Posted by RobJ

I bet everyone who said "no" borrowed tools from their dad as kids, teens, and older...as I did and lost them. My problem was leaving them in the yard, in the grass to be found months later. Or leaving them where we were building a "fort". I bet yall also borrowed their car now and then, maybe before you had your own car.

Wonder what would have happened if your parents said NO all the time. I'm glad mine didn't, we're family! IMO a lot different than a friend or neighbor. Food for thought.

Rob, that sounds good, but you obviously never knew my dad. If a tool had been left out and he found out who did it, I guarantee after the beating they got, they'd never forget again. And my dad never allowed any of the 5 kids to use his & mother's car; never. He did get each of us an old junker when we got our drivers license and told us, "There's your car, if you can keep it running."

[AlanB]

Originally Posted by firemanpat2910

17 years old, bought my first tool set, 100 piece craftsman socket and wrench set, carried it straight to grandaddys shop too show it off, he picks up 3 1/2 drive sockets and tosses them into the yard.. What The Heck ?I scream!!!!
"now you know how I feel"he snickered, then helped me find them, we then had a mutual respect for each others tools and I never left one of his outside ever again. He has sinced passed away and I have all his tools and if it rains his are the first I pickup and put back in the box!!

God I love it!

[RobJ]

Originally Posted by Bird

Rob, that sounds good, but you obviously never knew my dad. If a tool had been left out and he found out who did it, I guarantee after the beating they got, they'd never forget again. And my dad never allowed any of the 5 kids to use his & mother's car; never. He did get each of us an old junker when we got our drivers license and told us, "There's your car, if you can keep it running."

I know what you mean Bird, my Dad is probably older than your dad, but the word "ground" as punishment hadn't been invented yet for me(or "time out"). But the word "belt" still was in use. All of the time we got the message, most of the time it sunk in, many times it did not.

[Patches]

My God man, I hope you're not advocating a return to the barbaric days of corporal punishment

[shvl73]

Originally Posted by firemanpat2910

17 years old, bought my first tool set, 100 piece craftsman socket and wrench set, carried it straight to grandaddys shop too show it off, he picks up 3 1/2 drive sockets and tosses them into the yard.. What The Heck ?I scream!!!!
"now you know how I feel"he snickered, then helped me find them, we then had a mutual respect for each others tools and I never left one of his outside ever again. He has sinced passed away and I have all his tools and if it rains his are the first I pickup and put back in the box!!

I would've like to have known him. What a sense of humor!

[RobJ]

Originally Posted by Patches

My God man, I hope you're not advocating a return to the barbaric days of corporal punishment

If you are talking about parents spanking, swats as punishment in school. Then well yes. It worked better in my gen. My wife works at a high school. Kids are not afraid of anything. ISS is just party time. It starts at the home and most parents don't give a rats behind anyway. If you saw what she sees and what I hear, any change would be better. Barbaric..hehe that's funny.

But this is a little OT.

[RayCo]

FWIW, I'm 32 and a father of a 2 year old. I have no intentions of subscribing to the modern ways of parenting, of never disciplining because it'll hurt the kid's self esteem or whatever. As a kid, I got spanked or hit with a wooden spoon only on very special occassions - the times that I deserved it. I'm embarrassed to be part of my generation much of the time, and especially now that I pay attention to parenting methodologies.

[neucam]

Hard when it is family, I have lent out some stuff and rarely got it back in the same condition as when it left. So I don't do it anymore. People now days just are not as responsible as we are. I and my wife have a business and hire 20-30 year olds and it is unbelievable how much stuff gets damaged or abused. But they claim they know nothing. Good luck, get your checkbook out for repairs or pay for their Uhaul. Uhaul sounds good to keep the peace.

[patrick_g]

Lots of interesting perspectives. Lots of good advice, if sometimes conflicting.

The real issue, of course, is not about trailers or even loaning stuff. The trailer is just a chip in a big ongoing poker game.

Sad but true. You sir are in a no win situation. There is no way to please everyone. All the logic in the world will not make your situation better because it does not involve logic. The "battle lines" are well drawn and it is unlikely that any of the players are going to change their behavior.

If your wife lets your step daughter intimidate her and essentially black mail her using the grand kids as pawns then there really is nothing you can do that will work and be acceptable to your wife except loan the trailer and hope for the best. Make sure there is insurance coverage in sufficient amount (at least 1/2 mil in liability and a mil or more is better) before the trailer leaves your place.

I can see no way you can deny use of the trailer and have a happy situation with your wife.

If I were you I would not be a happy camper.

It is a bit late for you to teach the daughter to be a better citizen and complaining about the daughter's behavior to your wife is counter productive as it is a defacto placing of the blame for the bad outcome in parenting on your wife.

I see no way to keep peace in the family without loaning the trailer or paying for a rental.

Sure, just say NO sounds simple but in the emotionally charged atmosphere described in this thread it is a recipe for a degraded relationship with your wife. If you don't mind risking your marriage then speak your mind to the daughter.

I'm sure the trailer will NOT be the only bone of contention where access to the grand kids by your wife will be jeopardized. You are not in an enviable position.

Pat