This thread is going around in circles. You're getting the same or different advice from various people. Everyone means well, BUT I'd like to try to keep you from getting confused. First, instead of speculating about what it is or isn't, you need to eliminate the battery, and alternator first and foremost.
After that you can fool around with the alternator hot wire, exciter wire, etc.
I'm beginning to think the battery is not able to hold a charge due to itself alone. Even though it's relatively 'new', batteries CAN and DO fail for a variety of reasons, and may take a charge up to nominal state of 12.++ BUT when they face a load like running the tractor with the headlights on then they can drop right off to next to nothing, even if the alternator is putting out the proper charge, though this is less likely in this situation. So get your friends battery and let's see what happens with it installed.
And as far as people telling you that cleaning the ground cable at the frame is only related to no start conditions, that is often the case, BUT not always. Sometimes a dead battery ground cable will not allow the charging system to function, and mask itself as the real problem. I've seen this before at times when I had my foreign auto shop. I've especially seen it with boats in salt water.
When you get the replacement battery and you get her running take the ground cable with a gloved hand and wiggle it around and see if it has any effect on the voltage coming back to the battery. If it fluctuates at all of jumps up and down than at least one issue- a bad ground cable has been found and it needs to be replaced for certain.
Don't worry for now about the alternator bolt or anything else for that matter.
You could ask the person who tested the battery if he did a 'load' test on it and how it performed. If they did NOT do a load test then they really can't say whether it is good or bad.
BTW, You're welcome for the caution on the acid- don't want you to compound your issues with unnecessary additional problems.
No one here is thinking your husband is a slacker- we're thinking you're a good wife to him!:thumbsup:
The idea about using a jumper cable to bypass the existing ground cable may come in handy, so let's keep it in mind for later.
Oh yeah, and the $280 guy deserves a turnaround of fortune...what a jerk.....
Post back.