Search results

A plumber was called to a woman's apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly. About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang...

For ultimate electrical versatility https://www.tractorbynet.com/forums/threads/adding-electrical-devices-to-tractor.425790/ https://www.orangetractortalks.com/forums/threads/1-cool-rops-accessory.47428/...

When the dwarf stopped the cattle stampede in its tracks, everyone called it a miracle. “He's done the imp-pause-a-bull,” they said.

Why did my daddy have to be a body builder?

No way we're paying a per mile tax- no odometer - haha

Hide a spare key and you'll never be locked out of your home

Tower, we need a new set of tires

Wow, changing oil on a forklift sure is easy

Cheapest garage heater -- don't stand too close

On private property, in the woods, mowing the lawn. Exactly what electrical devices are you powering? Nothing, why not have a little operator comfort. https://www.orangetractortalks.com/forums/threads/1-cool-rops-accessory.47428/...

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."...

Pull my B2650 with F250. 2nd fluid filled tires however, if tire chains may be needed 1.5 - 2" wheel spacers should be installed before filling tires. Use a temp garage for BH77 this winter, may need sheet of plywood under it to keep it level and easier to reconnect. Anti-gel additive is a must...

Fastest way to make a bridge?

Judy took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow. "Ooh," said the presenter. "This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"...

I want to divorce my wife." "On what grounds?" "She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar." "Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?" "No, she is looking for me."

Wondered where he learned that

High caliber art

Think I'm impressed with her welding skills

If you think Thursdays are bad, just wait two days... It will be a sadder day.

A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off...

https://www.build.com/portable-ice-makers/c133880?r=48&s=SCORE&p=1&categoryId=133880 Much cheaper than fridge with ice maker. No need for extra plumbing, just keep adding water. Also cheap enough to attempt DIY repairs before replacing it

Or the sensor or switch that tells machine ice bin is full?

Don't drill through your skull! It will bore you out of your mind Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette. Be sure follow the pro to call.

You know what this means right?

Removing the battery also removes the emergency brakes if trailer disconnects. The 12v power plug could be damaged if it's not parallel to trailer pull direction.

Single axle dump trailer, off road or one that can be used on road

Mr. Johnson had been waiting entirely too long at the doctor's office. His appointment was for 9:00 and it was nearly 10:30. Finally, an attractive nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, "Let's go get a room." "Honey, I appreciate the offer," he said, "but I've been waiting so long...

https://www.tractorbynet.com/forums/threads/adding-electrical-devices-to-tractor.425790/

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"...

More Power Plunger A "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" design

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: "Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person." The following day, she...

Big box lumberyard should have something like these...

My wife and I went to the County Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said: THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ..... Smiled and said, "He mated...

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I...

Are Calcium filled tires a horror show? Not on your brand new "starter" tractor. After 5 years or so and you decide it's now your "forever" tractor, problems could arise. Back in the olden days, beet juice was a canning plant waste product.

Online classes

“Is it unlucky to drink on Friday the thirteenth, or is it merely stuporstition?”

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy,"...

Can't even crash into a pole the right way

Who wants to try white water rafting?

How chain is made

Looks like heavy equipment operator has it's perks

You will get better with practice. FEL material being transported is lifted fom ground. BB material is dragged across ground. With BB, a hydraulic top link allows blade adjustments on the fly. BB allows a road to be crowned, FEL always level unless it's bent:eek: Having both is great A land...

Magnet vs tree branch -- tree wins every time. Consider what types of operating environments you will be in.

My rops is behind me, lights above head, no problem with lights shining in eyes. Bugs - well they're attracted to light. you may want a bee keeper's hat. Don't know if my cooling fans are strong enough to keep the bugs away...

What happens when the "EX" wants him back?

Amateur chef, a professional would use Dewalt or Milwaukee

https://www.tractorbynet.com/forums/threads/adding-electrical-devices-to-tractor.425790/

Buddy picked up a pair of pliers today

Think I understand why alligator shoes are so expensive, do you buy them from a cobbler or taxidermist?

Beverly Hillbillies reboot?

Why did the British cross the Atlantic? To get to the other tide!

The fellow had a boat but a fishing pole was not to be seen. The farmer mentioned the situation to the game warden. The warden then started watching this man and all that the farmer said was true! The man would arrive at the lake in the morning and by early afternoon, he had a stringer full of...

Putting winch on a 3pt will allow you to use tractor to load the trailer or winch tractor on trailer Light duty winch on trailer mover Heavy duty winch with trailer mover parts added. Can't weld - used 14 or so drawbars.

A trucker would call this an owner-operator

I may not be around in 2084... But at least I know there's the possibility I may still be voting!

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately...

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me. And I said, If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.

posts on roller threads. Mfg. website http://www.hoelscherinc.com/prod_rbscraper.htm

Have BX2370 with R4 tires. Have some low spots in yard when I mow and the low spots have standing water in them, I will shift on the fly into 4wd. After powering thru the water, I'll shift back to 2wd. If stopped (loader ops) sometimes need to rock tractor. Mowing thru water leaves ruts but, I...

The draft control valve is at the top. Ground engaging implments (plows, chisels, subsoilers) will use the lower top link hole. Mowers, rakes typically use the upper hole. On the transmission you should have a lever to select 3pt positional control or draft (drag) control. When in draft control...

own the root grapple Type1 will haul more brush, maybe more logs. Better for moving stacked lumber. Also own pallet forks, an add-a-grapple will slide over forks and make a good demolition grapple.

Mount it to the house, wife can use it for a flower box or an extra shelf for the garage

Must be one of those adverse reactions I keep hearing about

Interesting way to chill out

My latest SGC 0660 project https://www.orangetractortalks.com/forums/threads/maxed-out-b2650-fel-lift-capacity.53711/#post-492208

Researchers say they've discovered a tree extract that could help to prevent herpes... .. Must be a rubber tree...

Believe those are bullet connectors

married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband...

"Push harder!" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor. "I hate you, I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone!" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh I thought… it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.

After a nice dinner the two couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the family room. One of the gents said to the other, "I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife, "honey pie" and "sweet pea", and "sugar" all the time. The other gent said...

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. MAN, I sure am LUCKY! I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

How to theft proof a ladder

That's one way to make a wide right turn

Use DAWN dish washing soap in washer, works for 5th wheel grease (semi truckers) also to clean ducks after an oil well spill Your not just blaming tightly whiteites stains on grease are you?

DIY My Way also has a follow-up video of mods others made to his plans. A 2x4 spacer between frame and back wall will allow QH hooks to engage frame.

https://www.orangetractortalks.com/forums/threads/ideas-to-make-implements-qh-compatible.46448/

A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?" "No," he replied, "I've never done either." "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" inquired the doctor. "No, I've never done any of those things either."...

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening ofChurch services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be...

I'm guessing - she got the house

Wonder where he dug those up

Looks like she stuck the landing

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see,"...

I case he has seen these https://www.azteccontainer.com/storage-container-40ft-full-side-open/

I'm sure that'll work

My boss calls me "the computer"... Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

Some people just need stickers :D Others need toolboxes, mirrors, lights, more lights, radio, cooling fan, did I mention lights? https://www.tractorbynet.com/forums/threads/adding-electrical-devices-to-tractor.425790/ https://www.tractorbynet.com/forums/threads/1-cool-rops-accessory.429676/

This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it. An Inspector steps out of the bushes, “Ahha!” he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled...

After a day fishing on Lake Michigan, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket. He is approached by a Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I was not fishing and I did not catch these browns, they are my...

Made a "pallet" for a 50 gal tank, power it from the tractors. https://www.orangetractortalks.com/forums/threads/retired-my-5-gallon-fuel-cans.52062/#post-471651

Nothing like a good pair of work boots

One day, Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of beers. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It's a po-leece roadblock. We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin'...

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts." The Editor scolded the new...

One big bug

Neighbors reporting "big foot" tracks in the area

The starter ground wire looks kinda flimsy, I'd install a heavier jumper wire after cleaning the grounding points

Inspect starter gear, if gear shows signs of wear(rounding off), may need replaced. If it will start after moving flywheel, may have a damaged flywheel tooth.

Never knew auto-correct could fix "beach" pictures

The trainer said: "Bad things happen at the scale house ... travel the back roads"

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, aww crap

Bet they bought it at Big Lots

All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby." So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." "Why?"...

hardee brush tiger?

Feelin' lucky enough to buy a lotto ticket?

Just looks wrong

He was 80, she was 20. It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've...

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher. "Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means." "I do, too!"...

I guess this Ma & Pa didn't watch that internet video

Getting the queen of daytime TV to lose weight is a complicated Oprah ration.

Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. "This picture looks like someone I know" she says. The other one has a look and says, "Of course dummy, it's ME...."

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"...

On my BX, the operator presence controller will apply power to the kill solenod if a safety switch is activated or you turn the key off. #1 check your fuses. Test #2 start engine, manually move the kill solenoid to stop engine. Turn key off, did solenoid move? Should hear a click within 10...

Unload the upstairs furniture first

It's better than a spare tire

One dismal rainy night in Sydney a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman...

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all...

Even Gladiators need a little vacation time

t's wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next...

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire...

cut down 3 more trees

Must be a Texan

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you...

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

Was this you?

https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/here-039-s-why-stupid-people-don-039-t-realize-they-039-re-stupid_FMYB2YVYhEYl1Lk.html

SPECS, it's about AC specs, equipment is designed to run according to power grid specs. Power Companies can not buy, sell, transfer power between companies without being synchronized. This is why wind turbines and solar farms go down if purchasing utility has a power or substation failure. 60Hz...

Be that tractor owner everyone talks about, install a set of "ghost wheels" :D

I want a haircut like this be careful what you ask for

consider an outdoor modem, 1 watt of power, about 3x more than indoor units...

Most men are like bank accounts... When they don't have a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I’m sorry, but he died last week." The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week." The next day the guy calls again and...

OSHA approved office chair

Got the brake light working

Purhased this at Menards to run our well, working on wiring mods for pump https://www.menards.com/main/outdoor/outdoor-power-equipment/generators/generac-reg-6-500-running-8-125-starting-watt-gasoline-portable-generator/5940/p-1444431298203-c-10107.htm?tid=1401394185218310072&ipos=1 I also...

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared & where he had carved "I love you, Sally". On their way...

Some redneck found a new use for old stumps

Nice little town, everyone just passing through

That's not full, this is full

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left anote for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door toclarify the point. The blonde came to the...

A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a...

Try to find a local rental co, maybe larger tractor dealer has rentals http://www.duragrade.com/rock-picker.php https://www.agriexpo.online/agricultural-manufacturer/rock-picker-40.html

Suppose it's a Golf cart

Redneck fix-a-flat

Don't get mad, don't get even, get ahead

A seventy-six-year-old man married a woman less than half his age and took her off on honeymoon to the Caribbean. When he returned home, his sister asked him how it had gone. "Oh, it was wonderful," he said, "We made love almost every night." "That's quite a feat at your age," said the sister...

Uhh, is there a McDonalds in town?

Who's frying bacon?