Announcement...

[/pine]

Just so everything is perfectly clear...

...I'm going to get some new eye glasses...!

Oh and BTW...it has occurred to me that If you are buying smart water for $5 a bottle...

It isn't working...!


Here's today's stock report:

• Helium is up.
• Feathers were down.
• Paper was stationary.
• Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
• Knives were up sharply.
• Cows steered into a bull market.
• Pencils lost a few points.
• Hiking equipment was trailing.
• Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
• Weights were up in heavy trading.
• Light switches were off.
• Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
• Diapers remained unchanged.
• Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
• The market for raisins dried up.
• Coca-Cola fizzled.
• Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
• Sun peaked at midday.
• Balloon prices were inflated.
• Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
• And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

 

[MoKelly]

Also, General Electric and Emerson Electric shocked investors as they failed to insulate earnings from inflation.

 

[/pine]

My psychiatrist asked me if anyone else in my family suffered from mental illness.

I said: "No we all seem to enjoy it"...!

 

[/pine]

I told my suitcases we weren’t going on vacation...

Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage...!

 

[Hay Dude]

Nike earnings swooshed into positive territory, sneaking past investors expectations

 

[MoKelly]

Nike earnings swooshed into positive territory, sneaking past investors expectations

That was very good!!!

MoKelly

 

[Hay Dude]

That was very good!!!

MoKelly

Not bad for an “addled brain”!

 

[Xfaxman]

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

 

[dirttoys]

my daddy married his sister, but, it didn't effect me..............

 

[/pine]

Q: What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle...?










A : Attire.