Female advice needed

[daugen]

We don't have too many ladies on this forum, but this is a call to you for advice.
I need to know how you would feel if you were given a piece of jewelry that was
previously given to the guy's ex, girlfriend, and was returned. Kind of like repacking xmas
gifts.

Now all used jewelry was worn by someone else. But I think this is a little different.
I have some beautiful jewelry I gave my wife over many years, and the pieces by themselves are still very attractive to me.
As a lady, how would you feel if you were given a necklace that you later found out belonged to the guy's wife, or
significant other?

I don't need the money from selling the jewelry, but will sell most because it's ridiculous to keep it around. I don't dress up
at night...

And if I do keep a few pieces, and give it away in the future, should I explain it was previously given?
or just keep my mouth shut and stop worrying about the past?

don't ask, don't tell???

thanks

 

[Panik]

Daugen - my condolences on your loss. I'm not a lady, but I would like to offer you a suggestion none the less. If it were me, I would not worry about the issue at the moment unless the presence the jewelry is causing you pain.

I would put those items you wanted to hang onto in a safe place and deal with sharing the jewelry when/if you want to share it with another person. I think whether or not to explain a piece's origin depends on the person who might receive it.

Who knows you might be able to have a jeweler use elements from the the pieces you have to make a new design and avoid any potential awkwardness of explaining a piece's history to its new recipient. In any case do what is best for your own health and well being.

 

[EddieWalker]

I'm not a girl either, but feel strongly that it would be a huge mistake and rather tacky to give a woman you care about your ex wife's jewelry. The reason for the gift is because you care about her and it is a special way of showing her how you feel. Get rid of the old stuff and start out fresh.

Eddie

 

[Gary Fowler]

I agree with Eddie, take the pieces to a good jeweler and trade them in on new pieces. I would never give as a gift anything that belonged to an ex-wife. Best way in the world to loose a new friend. My 2nd wife didn't even like sleeping in the same bed as my first wife and eventually I had to get rid of the whole bedroom suite. Same issue with jewelry, girlfriends want new.
You could likely work a deal with a jeweler before hand, take all your items in for credit, then take your girlfriend/wife to the same store to pick out a new whatever item. IF you are feeling brave, you could even tell here that you want to gift her with something in the $xxxx range so she knows what price range to look at and not embarrass or be embarrassed at the store.

 

[CeliaGeorge]

I am a woman - and I would not want jewelry from you that had belonged to your previous wife. No way.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Why not show it to the girlfriend and ask her what she thinks ought to be done with it? Or, in a more roundabout way, ask her what to do with her "stuff"?

 

[IslandTractor]

Smart of you to seek advice. First, I agree with the other guys who think it is a bad idea. Second, I don't know if you have any kids but surely any daughter would covet such jewelry and even a daughter in law or grandchild would be happy to receive a close relative's jewelry (but remember a young woman may not appreciate classic pieces for a while). It does seem out of bounds to give it to a new romantic interest though.

 

[MoKelly]

I would just keep the jewery as my own memory. Give your new lady new jewery you and her both like. No lady likes to be a reminder of another woman.

Good luck.

MoKelly

 

[brin]

Drew..Why not give yourself some time to heal....all of this you have been through...Why not pack the jewelry up , put it away and revisit the issue a year of so from now...If you dispose of the jewelery now you may deeply regret it later...your mementos and keepsakes will be gone...God Bless.

 

[dmccarty]

Drew..Why not give yourself some time to heal....all of this you have been through...Why not pack the jewelry up , put it away and revisit the issue a year of so from now...If you dispose of the jewelery now you may deeply regret it later...your mementos and keepsakes will be gone...God Bless.

What Brin said. Pretty smart for a guy who wears aluminum foil hats. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

Keep the old stuff for now but buy new trinkets for the new lady.

Later,
Dan