?????? GROAN 2

[i7win7]

This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it.

An Inspector steps out of the bushes, “Ahha!” he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled “Shiiiit!”. The Inspector, who wasn’t expecting such a response said “Settle down, I’m the Fishing Inspector”.

“Thank God for that” said the fisherman, “I thought you were the bugger who owned this fish trap”.

 

[i7win7]

 

[buckeyefarmer]

I went to the bar&grill for lunch yesterday. I got up from the booth and asked the bar tender for the wi-fi password. He said “You need to by a drink”. I said “I just bought breakfast”. He said “You need to buy a drink”. I said “ Fine, give me a Coke. Now can I have the password?” He said” You have to buy a drink. All lowercase and no spaces.”

Need or have? Lol

 

[Pixguy]

 

[Peace]

Need or have? Lol

Sharp as a tack!

 

[Yogi05]

The Ottawa river runs along the boarder of Ontario and Quebec (Canada) and therefore either provincial fishing license is accepted, but one day.....

A Quebec game warden pulled up to a fisherman's boat and asks for a Quebec fishing license.
Fisherman: "I have an Ontario license."
Warden: "You're in Quebec water and catching Quebec fish."
Fisherman: "No I'm not"
Warden: "There's some fish in the bottom of your boat, what are those?"
Fisherman: "Those are Ontario fish".
Warden: "How can you tell?"
Fisherman: "I throw back the ones with the big mouths".

 

[jerrybob]

Noah was fishing one day off the side of the ark.​

Suddenly he looked around and yelled out, "Can someone bring me the *other* worm?"

 

[Pixguy]

Dad meets his daughters prom date.

 

[RoyJackson]

Woman stops 12 ft gator with .22 pistol!
"Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.
The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"

 

[Pixguy]