I suspect they don't use a loader valve with the metering notches on the spools to help with feathering of the controls.
For instance, when I built my loader, I found a used 3 spool valve for very very cheap ($40). It's a Bosch-Rexroth valve used on an old Case skidsteer, but it has all the features in needs, like those metering notches to allow feathering, which makes for a very pleasant operation.
Anyway, a low cost solution is to lower your engine RPMs. Less RPM = less flow = slower loader.
If you're already there, I suppose you could add some inline flow control valves on the lift and curl circuits that you would use to reduce the flow for delicate operations.
With these valves, you get two types: Bidirecional which controls the flow in both directions or Unidirectional that controls the flow in one way but lets full flow in the opposite way.
You could use two bidirectional flow control valves. One on the lift circuit and the other on the curl circuit. That way, you have only two knobs to adjust. Mount them between the quick connect and the hose on the loader valve.
Essentially, you adjust the flow control valves (they have markings so you can repeat easily) for delicate operations and open them all the way for everything else you don't care about going slow.
You'll need to figure out what fittings they use on the loader. Places like Discount Hydraulic Hose have plenty of fittings and Surplus Center have those flow control valves.
Inline & Needle Valves | Flow Control Valves | Hydraulic Valves | Hydraulics | www.surpluscenter.com