Larry Caldwell
Super Member
Dementia is not necessarily fatal. My mother's sister had Alzheimer's and was in a nursing home for seven years. The whole time she was in fear, because she did not know who she was, where she was, or recognize any family. We all breathed a sigh of relief when she finally died.
I'm fortunate that I'm showing no sign of senility. My mother retained all her faculties until she died at 95. She decided when she was done, and refused to let them replace the battery in her pacemaker.
That brings up another concern. A pacemaker will keep your heart beating as long as there is a muscle there. The condition of the rest of your body doesn't matter. I understand it's legal to turn off a pacemaker now, but when my mother died, her only option was to let it run down.
I have a friend who spent 20 years as a hospice nurse. She says the 70s are our last good decade. After that it's a slow decline into debility and death, though some last longer than others. My dad died at 80 from lung cancer - 65 years of Camel straights - but Mom ran the riding mower and did the lower beds until she was 90. After that she hired yard work and had to give up driving because she was not safe on the road. I hope to manage my exit as gracefully as she did.
I think a real challenge for the end of retirement is that, if we live long enough, we will outlive our generation. I saw it happen with my grandfather, who lived to 98, and my mother, who lived to 95. Isolation is a real problem, particularly if you don't have family close. A piece of advice you don't hear often is to cultivate younger friends and neighbors, who might outlive you. 2020 was a tough year, because I lost five close friends that year, all of them younger than me. My mother lost three different best friends in her 80s. My grandfather just became withdrawn and isolated, too deaf to carry on conversations and too blind to read newspapers or books.
End of life is why I am so hopeful that self-driving cars will become available. I'm planning for there to be enough left in the piggy bank to buy one. Being unable to drive would make life in the country untenable.
I'm fortunate that I'm showing no sign of senility. My mother retained all her faculties until she died at 95. She decided when she was done, and refused to let them replace the battery in her pacemaker.
That brings up another concern. A pacemaker will keep your heart beating as long as there is a muscle there. The condition of the rest of your body doesn't matter. I understand it's legal to turn off a pacemaker now, but when my mother died, her only option was to let it run down.
I have a friend who spent 20 years as a hospice nurse. She says the 70s are our last good decade. After that it's a slow decline into debility and death, though some last longer than others. My dad died at 80 from lung cancer - 65 years of Camel straights - but Mom ran the riding mower and did the lower beds until she was 90. After that she hired yard work and had to give up driving because she was not safe on the road. I hope to manage my exit as gracefully as she did.
I think a real challenge for the end of retirement is that, if we live long enough, we will outlive our generation. I saw it happen with my grandfather, who lived to 98, and my mother, who lived to 95. Isolation is a real problem, particularly if you don't have family close. A piece of advice you don't hear often is to cultivate younger friends and neighbors, who might outlive you. 2020 was a tough year, because I lost five close friends that year, all of them younger than me. My mother lost three different best friends in her 80s. My grandfather just became withdrawn and isolated, too deaf to carry on conversations and too blind to read newspapers or books.
End of life is why I am so hopeful that self-driving cars will become available. I'm planning for there to be enough left in the piggy bank to buy one. Being unable to drive would make life in the country untenable.
The patients were simply not eating because they did not like the food and sometimes did not recognize what was on the plate was food. The daughter nagged the manager to make changes and they did.