PandDLong
Silver Member
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2012
- Messages
- 162
- Location
- Southern Alberta
- Tractor
- Kubota L3540, JD Z445 Mower, JD LX188 Lawn Tractor
An odd subject line, so let me give a little background.
I live on a 20+ acre piece of land with a large family home. I have been here for almost 25 years and my wife and I raised our family here - including hosting the weddings for two of our children. The property and home do take time and money to maintain and are beyond the needs of empty-nesters without children who need this much space to live, grow and explore.
We were a few years from retirement and with the pandemic my weekly travel for work stopped and we spent every day together for 18 months. It was a teaser of what our "golden years" would be like - we loved it and we loved being on the property full-time together. We made the decision that we would stay here as long as physically possible and we made lots of plans of projects and things to do in the home and on the property.
Tragically, my wife of 34+ years passed away unexpectedly in September.
As this is such an emotional time, I committed to myself and my kids that I wouldn't make any big decisions for a year. I need time to grieve, adjust, adapt and ponder the future. Right now it is one day at a time (and often just one hour at a time) but my wife and I were both planners so I often think about the future and some of the decisions I need to make in the coming months.
I am finding - so far - that much of the work I have done on the property and the planned improvements were all about making it a better place for us both and my wife's happiness was a big motivator for me.
I learn a lot from others and I have always found this forum filled with good people with a wide variety of experience and perspectives. So I want to hear about the experiences of those who have gone through something like this:
1. Do I keep reminders of my wife close by or do I avoid them?
- Is there a right time (or a wrong time) to pack up her things in the house?
2. Do I stay or do I move / downsize to a smaller acreage and home?
3. If I stay here for the long term:
- Do I follow through on our plans or do I start over on the plans?
- Do I complete the projects that she was most passionate about or do I let them fade?
- Do I keep her decorating style and touches in the home (which I liked but not sure I have the talent)?
4. What should I be considering or thinking about as I go through all of this decision making and planning?
Thanks in advance for your insights.
Michael
I live on a 20+ acre piece of land with a large family home. I have been here for almost 25 years and my wife and I raised our family here - including hosting the weddings for two of our children. The property and home do take time and money to maintain and are beyond the needs of empty-nesters without children who need this much space to live, grow and explore.
We were a few years from retirement and with the pandemic my weekly travel for work stopped and we spent every day together for 18 months. It was a teaser of what our "golden years" would be like - we loved it and we loved being on the property full-time together. We made the decision that we would stay here as long as physically possible and we made lots of plans of projects and things to do in the home and on the property.
Tragically, my wife of 34+ years passed away unexpectedly in September.
As this is such an emotional time, I committed to myself and my kids that I wouldn't make any big decisions for a year. I need time to grieve, adjust, adapt and ponder the future. Right now it is one day at a time (and often just one hour at a time) but my wife and I were both planners so I often think about the future and some of the decisions I need to make in the coming months.
I am finding - so far - that much of the work I have done on the property and the planned improvements were all about making it a better place for us both and my wife's happiness was a big motivator for me.
I learn a lot from others and I have always found this forum filled with good people with a wide variety of experience and perspectives. So I want to hear about the experiences of those who have gone through something like this:
1. Do I keep reminders of my wife close by or do I avoid them?
- Is there a right time (or a wrong time) to pack up her things in the house?
2. Do I stay or do I move / downsize to a smaller acreage and home?
3. If I stay here for the long term:
- Do I follow through on our plans or do I start over on the plans?
- Do I complete the projects that she was most passionate about or do I let them fade?
- Do I keep her decorating style and touches in the home (which I liked but not sure I have the talent)?
4. What should I be considering or thinking about as I go through all of this decision making and planning?
Thanks in advance for your insights.
Michael