thinking of having a child @ 48/42 yrs

[MossflowerWoods]

My kids are 26, 13, 11 and 2. (the oldest is from my 1st marriage)

I will be 48 in April, my wife will be 50 in January.

We are BOTH considering we'd like one more, and are open to adoption or natural.

We FIRMLY believe children are a blessing, not a tribulation (even when they make me CRAZY).

But it is not easy, and we make many sacrifices, and we DO NOT FIT IN with society in general... My wife's only sister thinks we are insane right wing religious wackos. I don't think we are insane at all.

Having children is a commitment TWO LIFETIMES in lenght. Yours and theirs...

Make sure you are really ready.

Good Luck.
David

 

[cdaigle430]

My wife and I are thinking about having a child together. Im 48 she is 42
We have both been married before and she has a 13 yr daughter who I consider my own (birth father dead). I had no children
We have been together for 4.5 yrs and married for 2.5 we have bumps along the way but both of us are commited to each other and will be together the rest of our lives.

She is healthy with no issues. I had a mild heart attack @42 but no issues since, lost weight and eat healthy and watch bp etc

We keep going around and around about this, what are your thoughts?

I'm for it, I don't understand what all the negative comments are about. Lost of people have children that are older than you. It does get a little riskier for the her but, the medical field has com a long long way.

So-if you want a child even after the risks which may be involved then do it I'm 45 and still waiting on an opportunity for my own child-the **** with what everyone else says.

 

[LazySusanFarms]

Too many people today have kids who don't really want them or want to make a commitment to them. Having children at any age is a huge long term commitment and will have ramifications for everyone in the family including your current daughter.

My Dad was in WWII and started a family late in life. I never noticed his age, everyone else had older parents too back then. If you really want children, have them. Just make sure they are the center of your life. We need good kids now more than ever.

 

[beppington]

I'm against it because I see it being all about you guys.

There are lots of kids that would benefit from your parenting skills already.

Actually, I figure it's none of my business, but I'd have to agree with this.

But when is this not the case? Even when you're 20, it's not like the world is short on people, so is it not "all about you guys" (the want-to-be parents) even then?

Or maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're saying - Maybe you're saying that it's selfish for anybody to want to have their own kids?

 

[zzvyb6]

I am a product of much older than average parents. My folks were old enough to be my grandparents. I believe that is why there never were any of the traditional problems all younger parents experience. My folks wanted me, (no surprise), could afford me (we were poor anyways), they had their career plans set and finished, and they lived long enough to see me succeed in college, a great job, a happy home and a healthy lifestyle.

That being said, I 'acquired' a step daughter (who was judged by her school to be not-college material), disciplined her enough to know right from wrong, taught her the value of money, challenged her to get into a good university, and get a 4 year valuable degree. That she did. She got a great job, went on the pay her own way through graduate school and after working as a high end executive recruiter, was offered a job teaching at a state university. Last week she accepted the job of Assistant Dean of that school.

The bottom line is that children are a big responsibility a big challenge and a big reward. They turn out as a reflection of their parenting. They can be anything you want them to be. Parents need to be leaders, coaches, constraints and stimulators.

 

[twinjayhawks]

There are lots of kids that would benefit from your parenting skills already.

Do you know there are over 100,000 kids in the US that are available for adoption right now? It isn't the easy road but it might be the best one. We have adopted 6 kids and looking to adopt more.

 

[Craig Clayton]

I do not have a child that has a medical condition of which I am going to make the following observations.
There appears to be a relationship between an Older mother or Father and Down Syndrome. Of the parents I have seen this is what I have noticed. I am not an expert in any way.
If the child was born with a medical condition that required parental assistance and the
child ages along with the parents, the parents are not able to outlive the weakened child.
The parents watch and love the child but they can not protect the child until the childs natural passing.
The child then becomes a ward of the state.
We had a family great aunt that became a ward of the goverment back when there was no cure / medication for epilispy.
She passed away in a very clean goverment home, she never understood the outside world.

Craig Clayton

 

[jinman]

But when is this not the case? Even when you're 20, it's not like the world is short on people, so is it not "all about you guys" (the want-to-be parents) even then?

Or maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're saying - Maybe you're saying that it's selfish for anybody to want to have their own kids?

I'm inclined to agree with you and the OP. When is it not about the parents until the child is born? Isn't it they who want the child? Would it be anymore acceptable if they had a baby by "accident" that they didn't plan? Of course, you have to do the math and realize that she will be 60 and he will be 66 when the child graduates high school. With a 4-yr degree, he'll be 70 when the child graduates from college. I would say this decision carries with it the responsibility of carrying a BIG life insurance policy to ensure the child will have financial stability if one parent should become deceased. There are more risks to this type of family, but I think there could also be many more rewards. If you try and it doesn't work out, then you can consider adoption. I would not fault you one bit for trying to have your own. You'll be far better parents than so many young kids who have children with no sense of responsibility or stability for their offspring.

 

[Gizmo2]

What would be fair to the child? To love a child is not the same as caring for a child. I'll leave it at that.

 

[acme97]

Go for it! If you want them and can afford them go ahead. Enjoy all the pleasure and pain they give until you have no more time on earth. What else are you going to do anyway. Keep up on the life insurance just in case (on both). We all need a hobby.