The thumb definitely needs to stop when it pushes against the curl and the fold
back when the curl pushes against it.
If you design the thumb properly, neither the thumb nor the bucket need to retract in reaction
to force from the other, and you do not need work port RVs. That's how mine works. I have 2" cyls
for both, and both are well-made cyls that can handle the pressure from the other pushing on it. Part
of a good design requires calculating the max forces at the max leverage angles.
There is another way to control the thumb, too. Another single-spool lever valve works, of course, as Kubota
uses. An electric dual selector valve slaved off one of the hoe valves works, too. I run my thumb cyl in parallel
with my curl cyl, and put one small 12v spool valve on just one of the cross-over hoses. This way, when
I flick a toggle switch, my bkt and thumb act like a grapple. Flick it off, and the thumb is anchored in a fixed
position. A push button on the right joystick would also work here.