Christmas Overload

[dooleysm]

My boys are 22 months and 3 months old. This was the first Christmas that the older one was really aware of what was going on and he had a blast. It was wonderful to see the joy in his eyes and it really made me appreciate Christmas again, like I haven't in years.

The problem I'm having though, is that the older one got soooo much stuff. Way too much, in our (my wife and I) opninion. He probably ended up with about as much as I got when I was little, but I was an only child and definitely got more than I needed. My wife got very little in the way of gifts when she was little. A gift from each of her godparents, a gift from Santa, and a small trinket from each set of grandparents (both sets have on the order of 50 grandkids). Her family wasn't poor by any stretch, but they lived below their means.

Most of the gifts for my older son (the younger boy mostly got clothes and diapers) came from my side of the family. We have a party at my grandpa's and my aunts and uncles and cousins gave him a bunch of toys and then my parents gave him a load of stuff. He's got more tractors, dump trucks, and farm animals than you can imagine. We don't think he needs all that, and we really want to tone it down next year.

We feel like too many gifts at Christmas really sends the wrong message, and it's just way more than he can play with. It also makes it hard for Santa to be a special thing for him, since he's already opened tons of gifts by the time Christmas morning rolls around. We don't want Santa to have to compete with gifts from well meaning relatives.

I've already talked with my mom about this and we're trying to come up with a solution. I suggested they give our kids each a certificate for a getaway to the children's museum in Indianapolis or a trip to the local amusement park (Holiday World), or maybe attend a late night christmas eve service, or spend a day baking and decorating cookies, or something along those lines. A gift that will create memories, not just another toy for the toybox. My mom seems ok with this and I think we'll get something worked out. Then I still have to deal with my aunts, uncles, and cousins.

How do all of you guys handle gifts at Christmas for your children?

 

[Chuck52]

My wife is your nightmare grandmother. Try as she might, she just gets so much fun picking presents for our three grandchildren that it is a wonder the kids can find places to store all the stuff she buys. We've talked about it and she really did try to cut back some this year. What I want to do is contribute an extra amount of $$ to each child's education IRA, which we set up on their first birthdays. I put a very small amount into each account every month, but I'd like to put in extra for each birthday and Christmas, using money that would otherwise be spent on toys which often end up in a closet after a week or so. Your parents and in-laws might like that idea, and money put in now will have a chance to make a big difference when your kids hit college age. Many states have a special program for college savings plans.

Chuck

 

[dooleysm]

I've already set up college savings plans for both boys, and my parents have made pretty nice deposits to both. Many in my family have given the boys US Savings Bonds in the past, and I'm going to recommend the college savings plans as another option (I think a better option, because there are tax credits available).

It doesn't feel right to me to suggest to anyone that they give money instead of gifts, because I think a big part of their gift giving is being able to see the joy it brings the kids when they open them. This is a sticky situation, for sure. It's much easier to talk to uninvolved parties about it than to talk with family about it.

My wife and I were talking about this the other day. I have a feeling that this is probably part of why so many people in the rest of the world hate us so much. THIS is the biggest problem in my life? That my kids get TOO much stuff? Oh well, it is what it is.

 

[bigbull338]

christmas is for kids.an its a fun time for the kids opening their presents.sounds like both sides of the family want to spoil your kids.so yes i can imagine the gifts they got.all the things you mentioned are great ideas.but you have to becareful an not offend the family members that want to give your kids gifts.

 

[KubotaSteve]

Your kids might be a little young for this, but my oldest daughter (11 now) has been doing this for the past 5 years or so. She makes a list of DVD's that she wants. They are small, can be used over and over, then can be given away, kept, or sold at yard sale. It sure beats getting a bunch of toys with little pieces that get lost broke or just thrown in the corner. I told my wife to only buy the kids one thing for Christmas next year (Big ticket item) and that way we don't have all this stuff laying around. My 4 year old boy got so much stuff that he still hasn't opened it all and we all know that kids only gravitate to one or two things they got. So next year, we are getting him a really nice remote control truck. My daughter has been steady watching DVD's since Christmas. She has quite the collection over the years.

 

[MossRoad]

I still have most of my childhood toys. Matchbox cars, hotwheels, tonka trucks, lionel train, etc... I alway took care of them when I was a kid... still do.

As for our children, our family usually asks for a list of things they would like to have and we ask for a list of things their children would like. We usually limit it to one big ticket item from Santa, and small stuff from family members. DVDs are an excellent choice. So are books, music CDs, small toy animals, cars, etc... Clothes are nice, too. Board games and puzzles for the family from Santa are nice, too.

The nice thing about an advanced list between adults is the kids rarely ever get a duplicate, as the adults keep in touch about who is getting what.

I remember one year, my poor nephew on another side of the family that does not communicate very well got four of the same thing. By the time he came to my folks' house (grandma and grandpa's) he was all depressed and bummed out... until he opened the present from us and it was actually something he had asked for. Man, that kid rolled on the floor with glee. Now, as an adult, he knows the meaning of good intentions, but most 5 or 6 year olds haven't learned that lesson yet.

So, my advice to you is to communicate with your family. Agree on and limit the expensive gifts. Many small thoughtful gifts are sometimes better than one large gift. And have your child help pick out presents for other people so that they know it is about the giving, more than the getting.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

We didn't let Ava have any gifts until Christmas. We also would not let anyone bring their kids before Christmas either because it wouldn't be fair. The only gift Ava got before Christmas was a toy box in the shape of a coach being pulled by a couple horses that my grandfather made her. She knew who brought it and why so that was understandable. Once Christmas came then she found all the gifts Santa left and she was happy. After that we have friends and faimly come over to share Christmas with us. Ava even gave a couple of her gifts to her younger cousin because she had them already (not bad for a 3 year old ).

Christmas can be a very stressful time if you let it. I am sure your family will understand it you don't want you kids flooded with gifts before Christmas.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

So, my advice to you is to communicate with your family. Agree on and limit the expensive gifts. Many small thoughtful gifts are sometimes better than one large gift. And have your child help pick out presents for other people so that they know it is about the giving, more than the getting.

I keep telling people not to buy me things for Christmas since like most guys I have this thing for buying stuff when I need/want it. Instead I tell them to just worry about Ava as seeing her happy is the best gift I have ever received (well, this wireless keyboard rates up there fairly high ).

I refuse to spend a lot of money on one gift for her. She was very happy with her Thomas the train set, Disney princess figures (I dispise all the shoes that came with them though ) and a few other things like washable markers and water paints. We did get rock em sock em as my parents thought Ava and myself playing Rock em sock em in real life wasn't goof for her Now we can knock each others heads off without actually hitting each other