6thgpSF
Gold Member
I worked in a hosp. for 34 yrs.seen a lot of folks pass.a living will and advance directivies are important for folks to know,that way the staff will know in advance what your wishes are.sorry for your loss. russ
End of life, sometimes oh so ironic
- Thread starter Sigarms
- Start date
jinman
Rest in Peace
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Sigarms, I believe hospice care is all about what you are describing. Unfortunately, many times people are not under hospice care at the time of their need. Medicine is all about the "cure" and treating to heal. Getting a hospital to change gears quickly and move into a hospice mindset can be a daunting task, especially if a living will is not in place.
OP
Sigarms
Super Member
Ironically enough, the grandmother went to hospice care for the last four days of her life. It was just getting too hard for the daughters to take care of her at the home (bathing, bathroom eating...), which both grandmother and grandfather wanted. Problem was, the grandfather couldn't take care of her (his wife) and he was coming down with health issues himself.
I appreciate the condolences. Death hasn't really ever bothered me, knowing it's a part of life, but I guess what has hit home so to speak is the quality of those last days, weeks or months.
Personally, I'd like to see the laws changed where if it is agreed that the illness is terminal and quality of life questionable at best, you have the option of taking your own life on your own terms.
Sigarms, Thanks for posting. I can relate. My wife's folks passed some 5 and 10 years ago and I miss them stll (having some of their stuff around and some of his tools helps reminding. Her Father was a farmer (yes, I married a farmer's daughter) and started out with horses for plowing before getting tractors. He never saw the spot of land we bought or the tractor but there is not a time I get on it that I don't think of him. He was a geat man and the knowledge he had he freely shared, but if only I knew then, what I knew now, I would have had him teach me so much more ... Fortunately I met my wife when we were 13, so I had 30 or so years of knowing them.
Ridgewalker
Platinum Member
It's hospice all right, my stepdad and FIL both died of cancer within a couple of years of each other. I watched both of them battle until the end and go out with a lot of class.
When they start hospice they start them on morphine. Once you get going on morphine it starts shutting down your ability to breath. It's not fun to watch and like others I hope I pass in my sleep at the age of 118.
When they start hospice they start them on morphine. Once you get going on morphine it starts shutting down your ability to breath. It's not fun to watch and like others I hope I pass in my sleep at the age of 118.
Ductape
Elite Member
I agree with you that some type of assisted suicide should be accepted in terminal illness situations.
I lost my father to cancer about six years ago, and his last few days were in a hospital. I have to say my experience was really good........ well, as good as a father dying in a hospital could be. I was visiting my father alone one day, and his Dr. pulled me aside and gave me the prognosis. His cancer had spread fast and his organs were shutting down. They offered to put tubes in so that dialysis could be done to prolong his life. I assured his Dr. that my father would never want that.... so he offered to give my father medication to keep his potassium down so that it would give the rest of my family time to assemble. My brother was able to make the six hour drive down from his home in Maine, as well one of my sisters was able to get a flight up from Atlanta. Thankfully, my brother and three sisters, as well as my mother were all in agreement that my father would never want to be kept alive with zero quality of life. I'm very thankful that we were able to get that extra day or two so that everyone could spend a little time with him before he passed. We were able to visit in shifts so that he never had to be alone before he passed. And even though it was against hospital policy, my youngest sister and I spent my father's last night in the hospital with him, taking turns sleeping in a waiting room. I think what struck me the most, was a couple of the nurses that work there in the cancer ward were crying when my father passed. The experience greatly changed how I feel about hospitals.
I lost my father to cancer about six years ago, and his last few days were in a hospital. I have to say my experience was really good........ well, as good as a father dying in a hospital could be. I was visiting my father alone one day, and his Dr. pulled me aside and gave me the prognosis. His cancer had spread fast and his organs were shutting down. They offered to put tubes in so that dialysis could be done to prolong his life. I assured his Dr. that my father would never want that.... so he offered to give my father medication to keep his potassium down so that it would give the rest of my family time to assemble. My brother was able to make the six hour drive down from his home in Maine, as well one of my sisters was able to get a flight up from Atlanta. Thankfully, my brother and three sisters, as well as my mother were all in agreement that my father would never want to be kept alive with zero quality of life. I'm very thankful that we were able to get that extra day or two so that everyone could spend a little time with him before he passed. We were able to visit in shifts so that he never had to be alone before he passed. And even though it was against hospital policy, my youngest sister and I spent my father's last night in the hospital with him, taking turns sleeping in a waiting room. I think what struck me the most, was a couple of the nurses that work there in the cancer ward were crying when my father passed. The experience greatly changed how I feel about hospitals.
300UGUY
Super Member
Sorry for your loss. I agree with you on the end of life issues.
kenmac
Super Member
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Joe, sorry for your loss . Wife & I will soon be going through this with her father ( cancer)
RadarTech
Elite Member
My mom died of cancer in 98 under hospice care.
When she passed, we were all at her side.
It was quite sad.
My wife works for hospice and she often comes home relieved when a patient has made the final rest.
May you family rest well knowing he is resting well.
When she passed, we were all at her side.
It was quite sad.
My wife works for hospice and she often comes home relieved when a patient has made the final rest.
May you family rest well knowing he is resting well.
OP
Sigarms
Super Member
Came back from the burial for both of them today at the veterans cemetery.
What I found absolutely amazing was that my wife's grandmother was born November 6th, 1926, died January 29th 2011, and her husband was born December 20th 1926, died February 28th, 2011.
Also drove by this cemetery many times for work, but never realized it was established by Confederate authorities to serve as the burial ground for union soldiers who were held prisoners, and the confederate prison was in Salisbury. Kind of ashamed that I knew all about Gettysburg, but this place never "clicked" in my mind as being a part of our history.
Next week I'm going to make the time to visit the mass burial site of all those men who died in our civil war.
http://www.gorowan.com/salisburyprison/
Thanks again for the kind words. Just remember, with no sadness, there would be no happiness:thumbsup:
What I found absolutely amazing was that my wife's grandmother was born November 6th, 1926, died January 29th 2011, and her husband was born December 20th 1926, died February 28th, 2011.
Also drove by this cemetery many times for work, but never realized it was established by Confederate authorities to serve as the burial ground for union soldiers who were held prisoners, and the confederate prison was in Salisbury. Kind of ashamed that I knew all about Gettysburg, but this place never "clicked" in my mind as being a part of our history.
Next week I'm going to make the time to visit the mass burial site of all those men who died in our civil war.
http://www.gorowan.com/salisburyprison/
Thanks again for the kind words. Just remember, with no sadness, there would be no happiness:thumbsup: