Hating cancer; it took my Mom

[wroughtn_harv]

I'm not much on the religion thing, believe all that is left is the memories, sounds like your FIL left some good ones.

When it comes to the memories, sometimes they're not the ones we intend to have left (grin).

We're in an RV park outside of Wichita KS, got here after dark and will be heading on to OKC in the morning. We'll enjoy the kids and grandkids and then Sunday we are off to Wylie to catch up on what's going on at home.

One week ago we pulled out for Mt Rushmore. I knew the exhaust manifold was cracked, put the new one in the coach in case I needed it. Thursday was a nightmare with mechanical gremlins working overtime.

More than once she asked, "should we just go on back home?"

"Nah, let me try to fix it" was my reply. "If I can't we will go back."

We arrived in Custer SD Sunday afternoon and the visit was perfect until when we left, yesterday morning.
There have been issues but we have worked through them.

Right now she is NED (no evidence of disease). Monday she gets an echocardiogram and then Tuesday the oncologist decides if she can continue the Herceptin treatment. The Herceptin is a pain in the butt because every three weeks she has to have an infusion. But the Herceptin is like rat poison. And if she can't have it because of heart issues then we are back to the pistol with rat shot.

That's our reality. The cancer is very aggressive type and if it comes back we will have to deal with that. But if it does or doesn't come back an awesome trip to Mt Rushmore and Crazy Horse Mountain is off the bucket list.

 

[MossRoad]

So, not to make lite of it or anything, and I've told this story before, but sometimes its good to laugh a little, and my dad made me laugh (and cry) very hard just a couple hours before he passed away. Anyone a Monty Python fan? If so, read on....

Dad had multiple myeloma, and was given 4 years to live. He started to get his affairs in order and was almost O.K. with the prognosis. However, shortly after the diagnosis, he developed Amyloidosis (am-uh-loi-DO-sis), and the time was changed to 6 weeks. He rapidly got weaker and had to go into a care facility, and back and forth to the hospital. One day at the hospital, his doctor sits down with us and him and says we have to go over his do not resuscitate order. Dad, being of sound mind, tells the Dr. he was only 76 and was planning on using that order in his 90's. So, NO, he does NOT want them to follow that order and YES, he wants to be resuscitated if anything happens.

So a couple days later, his heart stops, they zap him, and back he comes. You OK dad? Yeah. That was weird, he says. So the Dr. visits him again and says now you're in congestive heart failure and its just gonna be a matter of days and your heart's going to stop again. You still want to revoke the DNR order? Yep! I want to come back. Dr. says you'll just be coming back for more suffering. Dad says Its not so bad and I have things to do. Maybe you'll find a cure next week. Dr. says OK.

Couple days go by and his heart stops again and ZAP! they bring him back. You OK dad? Yeah. That was really weird, he says.

Anyhow, you get the drift... he's not ready to go, and he can take it, so why not hang around? Well, it happens a few more times over the next couple weeks, not counting the time they had to stop his heart and restart it to get him back in rhythm.

About the 4th or 5th time, Dr. comes back and dad finally says its no fun and he's had enough.... let him go if it happens again. Dr. tells me he's going to load dad up with enough morphine to knock out an elephant and he won't wake up again. I say my goodbyes and out he goes. They move him back to the nursing home and I'm sitting in his room, lights dim, talking to one of my sisters on the phone and I say to her, "The doctor says he's loaded up with morphine and he'll never wake up again."

I look over, and he's sitting up in his bed smiling at me and says "I'm not dead yet!"



Dad was a big Monty Python fan.

We got to talk a little more, he talked to my sister, he smiled, and went back to sleep. I had them give him some more morphine and he passed away the next morning.

 

[Sigarms]

Guys

I'm no fan of cancer. My wife went through a double M.

That said, if you do you research, cancer is nothing but a money making machine for the medical profession.

The sad fact is we all have cancer and none of us is cancer free, the question is what brings the disease "to life" within us.

The fact is, for the most part, anything genetically produced for human consumption, along with chemicals produced for our daily living (which makes our lives "easier") increases the odds of all of use getting that dreaded disease.

The sad fact is, for the most part IMO, there is too much money exchanged for what we get and what companies make that cancer will never be eliminated.

 

[wroughtn_harv]

Guys

I'm no fan of cancer. My wife went through a double M.

That said, if you do you research, cancer is nothing but a money making machine for the medical profession.

The sad fact is we all have cancer and none of us is cancer free, the question is what brings the disease "to life" within us.

The fact is, for the most part, anything genetically produced for human consumption, along with chemicals produced for our daily living (which makes our lives "easier") increases the odds of all of use getting that dreaded disease.

The sad fact is, for the most part IMO, there is too much money exchanged for what we get and what companies make that cancer will never be eliminated.

Oncology is a business. One of the realities I had to face early on was it is a business and our future is dependent upon their expertise. Their expertise isn't free.

Next Monday Glenda goes in for another echocardiogram. Then Tuesday we will go to the oncology center and we will find out if she gets the next Herceptin infusion or if the Herceptin regemine has damaged her heart to the point that treatment has to be suspended. That decision will be announced by the oncologist but it will be decided by a committee of oncologists, cardiologists, etc. Echocardiograms are expensive and Medicare and supplemental insurance helps, but it is still expensive for us.

The echocardiograms are part of the balancing act. Herceptin doesn't hurt all hearts, only small percentage. We are part of the select few. The echocardiogram measures "ejection factor". We read online stories on support forums and patients are taken off Herceptin when the ejection factor moves ten points. We're sitting about twenty points less than when we started. Without the Herceptin Her2 proteins go crazy reproducing cancer cells if any are present. So the balancing act is keeping the cancer cells dormant versus congestive heart failure. It does no good to prevent the cancer if it means destroying the heart. On the other hand protecting the heart means opening the door to more cancers. We had lymph nodes involved which means there might be breast cancer cells that survived the chemo treatments laying dormant in the lungs, brain, or bones. The only thing keeping them from becoming full blown problems is the Herceptin.

Expertise cost. Everyone has to be compensated for their work and or knowledge. I don't believe that it's a great evil conspiracy. I do believe that it is a business and business only works when there's a profit. Reasonable profit is another subject.

Today we went to the State Fair of Texas. The elephant following us around was it might be our last time to do it. So we had an exceptional time, the elephant sauce adds to the flavor.

 

[crazyal]

I'm about to loose a close friend to cancer. Not sure where it started out but he started having issues going to the bathroom. He really didn't have a choice about kemo because it was slowly blocking off his urethra. That was last winter. Now it's jump all around his body. The latest is it's in his spine at the base of his skull and there's spots in his liver. The speed at which it's jumping around I don't see him keeping the will to fight.

 

[grnspot110]

I went through Prstate cancer surgery 13 years ago, all's well so far. Wife has now had three cancer surgeries, plus chemo & radiation. Radiation treatments did a lot of internal damage for her!

 

[Sigarms]

Today we went to the State Fair of Texas. The elephant following us around was it might be our last time to do it. So we had an exceptional time, the elephant sauce adds to the flavor.

It's that sauce that we all have and seem to take for granted until it's to late IMO.

Wishing you and your wife the best and prayers.

 

[BethanyBrake]

Sorry to hear about your mother's loss. I can understand how does it feel to lose a loved one in front of your eyes. Such a painful and the most worst thing in the life. We lost our grandmother of the cancer. Though I got a bit lucky to save my brother. He has just recovered few weeks back from prostate cancer. His treatment was going on in the Prostate cancer treatment options Long Island, we got to know about them through a personal reference. We are really happy to now since he is back with us.

 

[RobertN]

July 2 was hard. It was Mom and Dad's anniversary(Would have been 54th anniversary). Spent the day with Dad; this was first anniversary since Mom passed.

The end of July will be harder I think; it will be the one year since she passed. Her birthday was July 24. She passed away the July 29th.

We try to reflect on the good times...

 

[The Deerslayer]

RobertN- Hang in there. You will see from my original post earlier in the thread that I was experiencing something similar with my mom. In fact, she left us the very next morning.
This has been a year of "firsts", and it sucks.

As you noted, reflecting on the good times helps sustain us.