Need advice regarding a "city boy" coming to rural property

[needmoredirt]

@Fuddyduddy1952 got the right idea. At 15 they gots the "fumes". Car fumes, perfumes and gunfumes.

You do have a 10/22, right? Don't let the farmer have it tho, that may not work out so well

 

[paulsharvey]

I did mix up some of the details between the original post and the reply, and thought he was younger than you said. For a 15 year old, I assume he has started driving with a learner permit by now. Shoot, let him do a lot of the driving into town or whatever if you need to go; let him drive around the farm/local roads too.

For a 15 y/o, driving is gonna be the #1 they want to do; followed by girls, and guns.

 

[Doofy]

I hear tell that today's youth don't care for cars or girls. They live for video games and little else. I feel totally blessed to have grown up during the 50's and 60's.

 

[Jstpssng]

Based on the OP's latest post it sounds like the biggest thing he can offer is a drama free summer. Why is it that some people have to get back at their exes through the kids?

 

[paulsharvey]

I hear tell that today's youth don't care for cars or girls. They live for video games and little else. I feel totally blessed to have grown up during the 50's and 60's.

As the parent of an 18 y/o, that will graduate in 5 weeks, I would beg to differ. He still live with us, but I normally only see him maybe 3 or 4 hours per week, between school, work, girlfriend, and just driving around burning gas.

 

[EddieWalker]

I agree with the others about making it fun and not forcing him to do a bunch of work.

Cooking meals together, like a big country breakfast with lots of bacon, gravy and biscuits and some eggs from the chicken coop. Get the grill going and cook burgers, hot dogs, steaks and whatever else you have on it. Cooking on a grill, in the outdoors is always fun.

A fire is a must. We bought some packets of fire color from Amazon that turns the fire blue and purple. Smores always make a fire more fun!!

If you have a pond, see if the fish are biting. Make sure you have a Zebco fishing pole for him to use, and not something that will frustrate him. I'm 58 years old and I prefer Zebco poles to fish in my pond. If the fish aren't biting, get the boat out, or raft, or inner tube, or whatever you have and explore the water. I found that young people are amazed by seeing frogs in the water when going along the shoreline in the row boat.

Shooting is a must. I have a target set up to give friends the basics, but they have the most fun when we go to the pond and toss a branch into the water and shoot at it. There is something about seeing the water splash from the bullet that is very entertaining. .22 is all they want to shoot, but sometimes they like trying the bigger caliber handguns. The 44 single action Ruger with a 10 inch barrel is what they talk about he most.

Do you have a mud hole? Driving the Mule through the mud, getting sideways, and making a mess is always fun.

Do you have archery gear?

I'm very hesitant to let anybody use my chainsaws. When my wife wanted to trim some branches, I bought some pruning blades for my cordless sawzall and let her use that. If you want to do a few chores with him, maybe that would be a safe option?

Once or twice a year my wife's son will come over for the weekend with a few friends and they camp out at the pond. We have a grill down there, and they stay up all night playing cards, or Board Games. Maybe that would be fun for a 14 year old? Play cards, or a Game, or Jenga on the back porch once it's dark out?

Never ask him what he wants to do, instead, have a list in your mind of what you are going to do, and include him in everything you do.

Take pictures!!!!!

 

[kenmbz]

When we would spend time at my Uncles place in the Mountains of western Mass.
The things we liked to do:
Hike on the trails and investigate (old CCC camps and other derelict structures)
Ride drive on the neighbors tractors and his old pickup truck
Horse riding.
Working on parts for the barn, mostly using manual tools like an auger, plane etc.
Shooting targets , rifle and shotgun.
Fires, bonfires, cooking fires.
Swimming in the pond or brook on a hot day.
Dirt bikes (motor and mountain bike), though when I was a kid mountain bike was just a heavy regular bicycle

Added for my son,
Working on engines
Pole saw, less chance of contacting blades, small branches with full helmet.
Lawn tractor.

It should be fun, so small doses of work with other stuff in between seemed to be the most fun for us. 8 hours of working on a large wood beam would have ruined out day, but working like that for an hour or two followed by a hike or fishing would round the day nicely.

 

[CliffordK]

What makes it interesting is the parents are divorced and the acrimony reigns supreme. One is awaiting a court date right now to wrest custody away from the other due to "domestic violence." This has persisted for years.

Based on the OP's latest post it sounds like the biggest thing he can offer is a drama free summer. Why is it that some people have to get back at their exes through the kids?

Tread carefully with all of this. I agree, having a little quiet time away from the parents may be all that is needed. Talk to the kid and listen to him, and let him join your activities.

I wouldn't rush into the gun thing. Guns and domestic violence don't mix well... for anybody. And both good and bad aspects of the parents will rub off on the kids.

Now, if a week into the visit, you deem that it is OK, then go ahead and introduce some shooting. With adequate supervision, and instruction about ethical and legal pitfalls of using guns against other people.

 

[Larry Caldwell]

I dont know how sheltered, or domesticated this kid is, but. When son was in cub scouts, I remember going on the first camping trip, and being dumbfounded by some of these 1st/2nd grade kids; one had a snotty nose, and asked if anyone had tissues. No, just do a farmers blow. He had no idea what that was. Just being able to run around a bit feral and pee in the woods, I think many of us take for granted.

My advice would be, don't over do it, or force too much. It might annoy you, but if he's propped up by the campfire, half paying attention, and half on his phone, that's a win. Forcing a kid to sit in a boat fishing from 4am-9pm, whether you catch anything or not, hungry, bored, and sunburnt, probably isn't gonna win you any favors. At the same time, he might need a bit of a push, and thats OK too, just don't keep pushing.

We call those snot rockets.

 

[tradosaurus]

Since he is 15 and coming from out of state, I need to have a number of discussions to learn and comply with the parent's wishes. And legal requirements. And I will comply with all.

What makes it interesting is the parents are divorced and the acrimony reigns supreme. One is awaiting a court date right now to wrest custody away from the other due to "domestic violence." This has persisted for years.

I stay well clear of such drama. Just one text received usually includes more personal drama than exists in my household for 5-10 years. So, I tiptoe cautiously. But even in light of that, I am looking forward to a good visit and exposing a young man to positive things he has never experienced.

My sister said he needs a good male role model right now. I'm not sure I am totally up to that, but I do believe I can be a lot better example than what he has in his life right now.

This will be good experience for the young man to experience the outdoors and get away from the drama. I would believe 1/2 of what you hear especially when hearing the word "domestic violence".
At 15 I believe he could actually choose who he wants to live with.