<font color=blue>...inch by inch... step by step... slowly I turn.... </font color=blue>
For your immediate enjoyment, here is the entire sketch transcribed from the 1944 short "Gents Without Cents":
Curly: Hiya pal.
Moe: You call me pal? Why I haven't heard that word for years. Ya'know bub, I was once a tramp like you.
Curly: Oh, congratulations.
Moe: But it wasn't always thus. I can look back to the days of yore when I was a very happy married man. Then one day that rat came and destroyed forever all the happiness I'd ever known. I'll never forget that day. I just came home from the graveyard shift. And there was the note on a pillow.
Curly: What did it say?
Moe: Oh, it was one of those cold-blooded notes. "Dear Moe, I'm running away with Larry". I was obsessed with the idea that I must find him. The trail led me to Pittsburgh ... I found that I'd missed him by three days when I got there. And I swore right there in Pittsburgh I'd find him and have my revenge. Now on with the chase ... Miami, Dallas, New Orleans ... and then I came face to face with the rat that had ruined my life. It was in Niagara Falls ...
Niagara Falls!! ... slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch, I walked up to him and I smashed him! (slap!) ... I hit him! (conk!) ... I ripped him to pieces! (rip!) ... and I knocked him down! (punch!)
Curly: Take it easy, buddy ... take it easy!
Moe: Excuse me, kid. It's that word Niagara Falls! Every time I hear it, it tears me apart!
Curly: It don't do me any good, either. Ungrateful, that's what it is! How do you like a guy like that? I say "Hello Pal" sorta friendly, and just because I say Niagara Falls ...
Moe: Niagara Falls!! ...
Curly: Woob-woob-woob-woob-woob!
Moe: Slowly I turned ...
Curly: Please, no ...
Moe: And step by step, inch by inch ...
Curly: No, please no ...
Moe: I walked up to him and I smashed him! (slap!) … I hit him! (conk!) ... I ripped his shirt! (rip!) ... and I knocked him down! (punch!)
Curly: Take it easy, pal ... please! Take it easy.
Moe: Oh, it's that woman ... I'll kill her, and him! ... Blood? ... Yes!! Rivers of blood! ... Pools of blood! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ... the blood!! (runs off crazily ... Larry enters and bumps into Curly)
Curly: Pardon me, pal.
Larry: Did you call me pal?
Curly: Nyah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Larry: It's been a long time since I heard the word pal.
Curly: You too? Haven't you got any friends either?
Larry: That's what I was coming to, the dirty rat! He tried to take her away from me! Ah, but he couldn't get away with it. So he trailed me ...
Curly: To Pittsboig?
Larry: Yes.
Curly: And then you went to Miami, New Orleans and Dallas?
Larry: Yes, yes!! But how did you know?
Curly: You'd be surprised ... (gets an idea and lays down) ... and then he caught you in Niagara Falls.
Larry: Niagara Falls!! ... slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch ...
Curly: Not that ... no!
Larry: I picked him up, and I smashed him! (slap!) ... I hit him! (conk!) ... I ripped his shirt! (rip!) ... and I knocked him down! (punch!) What have I done? ... Blood ... the judge ... blood!! (Moe enters) You!!
Moe: Ah, there you are, Larry!! Why you ...!! (they approach and shake hands)
Both: Hiya pal!
Moe: I almost caught up with you in Pittsburgh.
Curly: Go ahead, tell him where you found him!
Larry: Forget it, it's past history!
Curly: Why you cowards! You're afraid to say Niagara Falls.
Both: Niagara Falls!! ...
Curly: Rrrufff! Rrufff! Nyah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Both: Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch ... (they chase Curly off the stage)
It must be noted that this is an old vaudeville/burlesque routine that was first performed as far back as the 1910s. Lots of performers over the years did it. The Stooges' version is outstanding, but the Stooges only did it on film before Abbott and Costello (they filmed it for the Columbia feature "Good Luck Mr. Yates" in 1942, but was cut from the final print). However, Bud and Lou did "The Niagara Falls" bit (a.k.a. "slowly I turned") in their 1944 movie, "Lost In a Harem". On that occasion, the trigger word was "Pokomoko".
and giff me dose melons!
