Would you help your soon-to-be-ex wife or not?

[JDgreen227]

Guys, my spouse and I had a mutual decision to end a 20+ year marriage, and we pretty much agreed on the division of personal property: Like, "I want that dining room set, you can keep the appliances, etc...." HOWEVER, since I am keeping the property (it was mine before we were married) she seems to think I am obligated to help her pack up and move her stuff 20 miles distant to her parents house where she is currently living. She made the decision to call the marriage quits and move out, not I. No, there isn't any real acrimony, and as far as I know she isn't screwing around and I certainly wasn't.

So tell me, if you were in my place, how much obligation would you feel toward helping your soon-to-be-ex pack up and move? She has 3 brothers living within that 20-mile distance, but so far none of them have done a d*** thing to help.
It happens to be winter in Michigan and I don't enjoy the task of working outside..more so because I gave her a very fair equity payment for what she had in my property.

Thanks for your advice.

 

[TripleR]

I honestly don't know, from watching my family members going through truly amicable divorces, even those are hard on everyone and all I can do is offer my wish that all goes well for you. I don't think I could survive without my wife.

 

[300UGUY]

Guys, my spouse and I had a mutual decision to end a 20+ year marriage, and we pretty much agreed on the division of personal property: Like, "I want that dining room set, you can keep the appliances, etc...." HOWEVER, since I am keeping the property (it was mine before we were married) she seems to think I am obligated to help her pack up and move her stuff 20 miles distant to her parents house where she is currently living. She made the decision to call the marriage quits and move out, not I. No, there isn't any real acrimony, and as far as I know she isn't screwing around and I certainly wasn't.

So tell me, if you were in my place, how much obligation would you feel toward helping your soon-to-be-ex pack up and move? She has 3 brothers living within that 20-mile distance, but so far none of them have done a d*** thing to help.
It happens to be winter in Michigan and I don't enjoy the task of working outside..more so because I gave her a very fair equity payment for what she had in my property.

Thanks for your advice.

I'd help her out. Basically, it's what a nice person would do. And having done that you and everybody else would know that you behaved correctly, even when you didn't "have" to.

 

[Gale Hawkins]

Sorry to hear this and in the middle of winter. How long are you willing to wait to move on with your life? If someone did not want to live with me after 20 years I might work 24/7 to get past the end of the marriage. Sounds like you are coming out better than many that I know so why not get your butt cold and get it it all behind you? Spring will be here soon because tomorrow is a minute longer of sunshine than today.

 

[mrmikey]

I think I'd help her. My ex and I split up 4 years ago, we were'nt getting along for quite awhile and we planned on it being friendly. That is until she decided to get a bit too anxious in the splitting dept by screwing around. I still helped her move but that was for me so I wouldn't have to look at her, not to be a nice guy. Personally I would have thown her stuff out on the street with her on top but in the interest of not embarassing the kids (24 and 22) I didn't.
Adding insult to injury, she got 1/2 my pension which burns my butt but that's another story....Mike

 

[RobertBrown]

That is your call JD....
All I can tell you is I would be very nice to her right up until and after the papers are signed and recorded.
Should she change her mind and get a lawyer....... Just be nice till things are finalized.

 

[creekbend]

First of all, I think that it would be beneficial to you by helping her and providing this service. In this way, you can have her personally sign for all items delivered and the condition that they were in. I'm sincerely sorry for your current situation. This comes from the "Very Bottom Of My HEART And SOUL". Best wishes. BTW, Life goes on. Please remain strong.

 

[bullbreaker]

That is your call JD....
All I can tell you is I would be very nice to her right up until and after the papers are signed and recorded.
Should she change her mind and get a lawyer....... Just be nice till things are finalized.

IMO solid professional advise , but watch it she might be reading all this (thread) behind the scenes.

Boone

 

[Bob77064]

Bill, I wish you the best I hope it all works out for you.

 

[Don87]

That's a tough one, but I would have to agree with RobertBrown.

Best Wishes