sd455dan
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WE learn by doing...
What is your favorite Quote or Saying?
- Thread starter creekbend
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toppop52
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tcreeley
Elite Member
Age may give you experience, but experience does not guarantee wisdom.
and one from my childhood-
Don't ask questions, just watch.
and one from my childhood-
Don't ask questions, just watch.
2LaneCruzer
Super Member
W.C. Fields was a great American comedian and actor that lived from 1880 to 1946. He constantly joked about his drinking and his dislike of children. He also had comments about women and lawyers. He remarked often about organized religion. Many of his quotations are uttered time and time again today, without anyone realizing who originally uttered them. Here are some great W.C. Fields quotes.
...more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
Go away you silly pigeons and don't come back until you can **** green.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
I feel like a midget with muddy feet have been walking over my tounge all night.
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
You're drunk! Yeah, and you're crazy. And I'll be sober tomorrow and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
(When asked whether he liked children) "Ah yes...boiled or fried."
W.C.: "Bartender, did I spend $100 in this bar last night ?"
Bartender: "You sure did."
W.C. replies: "Good, I thought I lost it."
(When "caught" reading a Bible) "Just looking for loopholes."
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
(Epitaph) All things considered. I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
Wife: "Why don't you go to bed."
W.C.: "I thought I'd take a nap first."
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
Marry an outdoorswoman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.
Of course, now I touch nothing stronger than buttermilk: 90-proof buttermilk.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
During prohibition he was asked, why if he didn't have a drinking problem, did he buy 300 cases of gin before it started, he replied "I didn't think prohibition would last that long."
...more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it.
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
Go away you silly pigeons and don't come back until you can **** green.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
I feel like a midget with muddy feet have been walking over my tounge all night.
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
You're drunk! Yeah, and you're crazy. And I'll be sober tomorrow and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
(When asked whether he liked children) "Ah yes...boiled or fried."
W.C.: "Bartender, did I spend $100 in this bar last night ?"
Bartender: "You sure did."
W.C. replies: "Good, I thought I lost it."
(When "caught" reading a Bible) "Just looking for loopholes."
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
(Epitaph) All things considered. I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
Wife: "Why don't you go to bed."
W.C.: "I thought I'd take a nap first."
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
Marry an outdoorswoman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.
Of course, now I touch nothing stronger than buttermilk: 90-proof buttermilk.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
During prohibition he was asked, why if he didn't have a drinking problem, did he buy 300 cases of gin before it started, he replied "I didn't think prohibition would last that long."
daugen
Epic Contributor
(Epitaph) All things considered. I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
never realized how smart ol' WC was...
marvelous list of quotes, he must have been really shocking in his day, a real "urinator"...
never realized how smart ol' WC was...
marvelous list of quotes, he must have been really shocking in his day, a real "urinator"...
jaotguy
Veteran Member
Rodney Dangerfield ...
don't lie to your father ... that's what wives are for .
if the operation goes well, I'll be out in a couple of weeks ... if not, I'll be out sooner.
don't lie to your father ... that's what wives are for .
if the operation goes well, I'll be out in a couple of weeks ... if not, I'll be out sooner.
