You know your neighbor's visitors are from the city when...

[Jim Shooz]

I have an infected bladder problem and have to go 3 or 4 times a night. I find that instead of putting the light on it is easier to stay in the dark and squat. The practice around here if going outside is to pee on the lemon tree.In the film 'Worlds Fastest Indian' they show Bert Munroe out there doing it, and this is in town. There were these two young blokes fronted up to the urinal and one looked over at the other and said "gee you're well provided for" and the second bloke said 'nah you want to see my big brother, he has to use 7 fingers to hold his. the first bloke says 'you're not doing to bad. You're using 5. And the second bloke says ' yeah but I'm pissing on 3.

 

[Wagtail]

And you can't read the National Geographic standing up, either! :laughing:

The latest issue:

 

[sixdogs]

A pickup used in farming can get all cluttered and dusty even though it's a new and shiny It's funny to watch visitors who want to see the farm reluctant or unwilling to get into a nice truck that is not spic-n-span clean or might be a little cluttered. It's not that they're dressed up but rather wearing jeans.

 

[jlgurr]

You and me both! Flip flops hurt my toes and the "flap-flap" noise drives me up the wall.

^^^ +1

 

[fidowanttobe]

Same here. Wife broke me of standing up when she made me clean around the toilet...that stuff splashes.

X3 Wife and I each clean certain rooms. I now sit to leak as I have no one to blame but myself! Google says the spatter reaches 5 FEET!

 

[lennyzx11]

I lived on a houseboat single for a couple of years. I picked up the habit of sitting down also due to waves.
And that 3 am run now is by Braille in the dark so sitting is a necessity or face the wrath of she who speaks loudly in the morning!
I have a propane tank behind my shop. It's a common known term around here by neighbors, friends and family as "I'm going to check on how much propane is left."

On the streetlight. I enjoy sitting outside in the dark some evenings.
When I bought this place it had a power pole with a streetlight right in the yard. I hated it. Asked them to come turn it off. Charged me a service fee to turn it off and continued to charge me the little fee for having it on my monthly bill.
When I had the pole moved to the edge out of the way, I made them take it off and away.

Had a couple of friends stay a night on their way cross country and they wanted to keep the porch light on but complained about all the bugs flying around!

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Come on guys, taking a pizz off the porch is an old country tradition. We even write songs about it:

 

[dickfoster]

Y'all realize this thread has turned into a literal pi$$ing contest? Lol. :drink:

Better that than sandals and flip flops.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Pizzing contests can be fun, as long as you can keep the skunks out.

 

[Opti-Mist]

Eons ago when I was in college I had a friend who could hit a 2nd story window from standing on the ground. He could also reach half way across the street. Needless to say this would be after a night of trying to drink Canada dry.