Retirement home search started

[ultrarunner]

Very true… some of us are still shell shocked from the days of multiple overbids…

Several of my coworkers sold their homes for good money but realized unless they were cashing out and moving out of state the homes they wanted were also very expensive…

 

[gsganzer]

We made a cash offer on the modern farmhouse, but I don't think we're the only bidders. We'll see where this road takes us. This part of the ride is stressful!

They came back with a counteroffer and we have agreement, so we've signed a contract. This will be exciting!!!

 

[kenmbz]

They came back with a counteroffer and we have agreement, so we've signed a contract. This will be exciting!!!

Wow, congratulations!

I hope this works out perfect for you.

 

[dmccarty]

I still harbor bad feelings about my parents and in-laws regarding their stuff.

Neither addressed their collections of stuff. It left bad feelings between some family members in addition to lost time and money on others.

Part of any home search should include the right sizing/downsizing aspect of the stage of life and the property itself.

I will have to clear out my parents house one day. I have talked with my parents about this, and while it will be work, it will be what it will be. There is a plan in place to get it done and it won't be fun that is for sure. The hard part will be going through their stuff. That is a statement about the emotional aspect of the work, not the physical.

We have had the conversation, and I see it covered in various YouTube videos and "print" media regarding thinks that parents own. Often parents or grand parents want to hand down furniture which kids or grandkids don't won't or don't have room. Getting one's head around this fact is hard for some I think.

I have some stuff, and there is stuff at my parent's house I would like to keep, but I simply don't have the room. It is mostly furniture that my grandfather made. I really don't want too have the furniture pass outside the family but I don't think we will have space for it all.

My good friends were angry at her parents for not downsizing and leaving a “mess” to sort when the parents both passed within months of each other…

I was hard on her and said nothing says you can’t walk away or call the realtor to handle it…

My brother gets several of these listings every year and he does it all and the heirs get a check.

Often the heirs are distant or unable to travel or overseas.

Just did one where the son is in England… made one visit and turned everything over to my brother and was very pleased with the result…

Part of my plan is to donate stuff to local charities near my parents house. Some of this has been done already but more will be done when it is time. The real estate broker has been chosen for the most part and that is how the house will be cleaned up and sold. My parents house is in an area with lots of old people so there are people who deal with estates.

For years, I used furniture I got from the condo of a man who had died and the family just wanted the stuff gone. Did not cost me a penny and it was good furniture. Heck, it was better than the stuff we have now, but we did not like the look of the free furniture so donated it and bought what we liked.

I do not understand being angry at parents for not downsizing. My parents really struggled with the idea of moving and it was just too much for them to do mentally. We moved quite a bit as a family, so for better or worse, they knew what it takes to move. I looked at what it would cost to pack their stuff and move it but even that was too much for them to handle. At some point, people just want to stay and not go any where. That is part of the No Go Years phase. I have seen this with family members. They wanted to move at some level but the positives and negatives where just too much for them to make a decision. I keep saying if you can't make a decision on moving, then the right decision is to do nothing.

Now I am saying to myself and wifey.

 

[kenmbz]

We hired a dumpster for my FIL for a month.
He never put anything in it, we finally put the old stove that was out back in, not much else.

My Uncle is the opposite, he has a list of who gets what that is pages long..

 

[part-time-Farmer-NC]

Wifey and I discuss moving to another location/farm on and off. This area has grown way too fast. I can find dozens of reasons to leave. The one thing that makes it hard for both of us is this is her family's land since 1934. We sold some of my family land (for over 150 yrs) to my son. So that wasn't bad at all. It's mostly idle thoughts as both our families are ingrained here.

We miss the ole country ways. I often look for blocks of property 50-100 acres that we could build up to meet our needs. We consolidated 3 houses to one and have lots of stuff that was in each.

So far not enough to start making the way to do it. Not looking forward to all it entails to buy/fix up/move.

 

[gsganzer]

My goal is to seriously purge when we move. I can already see a battle brewing with my wife. She doesn't realize it, but the clutter she complains about mainly comes from her. Even my 2 girls agree. Sure, I have my share, but I'm a lot more likely to throw something away, donate or sell it when it doesn't serve a purpose. She invents reasons to keep it.

I don't plan to burden our kids with all that stuff when we pass. My parents had a lot of things that had meaning to them, but they don't for me. Sure, there are some heirloom things we'll keep, but many of the other things, like furniture, don't fit our needs or style. It's tough to get rid of those things too.

 

[ultrarunner]

My plan was 5 rural close in acres with home and 40x120 finished shop… everything consolidated and organized and thinning the car collection along the way…

The place sold for 1.2 in 2012 and now would be triple… so not in the cards for me…

I’m afraid I may turn into a YouTube video made by my nephew tracking down the collection… if done right he will make out well…

 

[ultrarunner]

My grandfather’s aunt born 1900, a widow 3 times had no children and was the sweetest 80 year old still paying her bills in person driving her 1959 Rambler to do so.

When it came time to downsize to retirement home is the only time I saw her upset/cry and it was because people in her presence said are we getting a dumpster to clear out all the junk from her immaculate little home… incredibly insensitive.

I help her move and offered to store anything she wanted in a empty 12x20 garage I still have… she was happy.

She got settled and made new friends and twice asked for something from storage…

As time went on I let her know of people in need… she gave her dining table to one… her dishes and kitchen items to another and so on…

She was happy to give to anyone in need… the thank you note from one of the families meant the world to her…

She said to me later her furniture and belongings were not garbage to be hauled away… saying people that would say such never experienced hard times.

She married her high school sweetheart the eve before he was deployed in WWI and he was killed in action… she remarried in 1941 and he died in action in WWII

In 1950 she married a widow 25 years her senior and had 5 wonderful years until he passed… the third husband was my grandfathers uncle.

 

[ericm979]

They came back with a counteroffer and we have agreement, so we've signed a contract. This will be exciting!!!

Wow that was fast! It sounds like a really nice place.

We're packing for our move. My wife and I are not too different in how we keep vs get rid of stuff. I'm sure some of the stuff I want to keep puzzles her, and I wonder about some of the stuff she's keeping. But I'd rather pay for more space in the moving van than argue over it.