Alarming new development......

Anonymous Poster · May 29, 2003

....in Jake. I thought this particular 'guy' thing was something that came with age and marriage. Boy was I wrong. No offense guys, but what is it about you folks that makes asking for help so hard? You know who you are. Asking for directions? Forget it. How about not admitting when you don't know what you're doing?

Yesterday Jake and I were trying to hook up the mower to the PTO on the tractor. We grunted and struggled and finally figured out that the 'thingie' on the mower slides to meet the PTO on the tractor. Okay we're halfway there. We slid the thingie on there and Jake proceeded to mow. Clunk. The thingie slid back off. This happened two or three times, before I said, I'm calling your dad.

"I know what I'm doing! You don't need to call!" Blah blah blah, on and on.

Next thing I know he's giving up, parking the tractor. I said you move one more inch, I beat you to death right here in front of God and everybody. (I have never beaten him to death, that's just my way of saying I have reached my limit, and you need to get still somewhere. My mom used to threaten to yank off one of our limbs and beat us to death with the bloody stump. She was a little more creative than I am). This yard is getting mowed if you have to do it with a pair of pinking shears. I called Fred.

"How do you get this dang thing to stop falling off the tractor? It's done fell off twice, and I'm about to lose my patience."

"Are you out of your mind??!!" This is Jake hissing between his teeth. "Are you trying to get me killed??!! Don't tell him THAT!"

"There's a little button" says Fred quite calmly "on the (he didn't say thingie) that you push in so that the bush hog will lock onto the PTO."

"Thank you dear."

"No problem, be careful with that thing."

"Now he's going to kill me!" Jake says.

"No he's not going to kill you. Your dad and I have an unspoken agreement, if he farts around and leaves this to me to do, then he takes what he gets. But he doesn't worry, ya' know why? Because he knows if I don't undrstand something I will call him and ask. UNLIKE some people in this house who would rather give up."

We had a little staring contest. I won.

"Find the dang button on the the thingie and I could kick your behind all over this yard for not letting me call earlier, and furthermore you did NOT know what you were doing and besides that if you don't learn to accept the fact that you don't know everything, you never will know ANYTHING."

I see this time and time again. I should have expected this when he told me in the third grade that he just 'knew' math. It was 'in his head' when he was born. Grrr.

Anonymous Poster · May 29, 2003

Hey, don't take it personal Cindi. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif Like you said, ti's a guy thing, I am that way also, you know "Vini, vidi, vici" I came, I saw, I conquered! We are just wired different. Or as my salty grandmother once said " Well, if I had a guy's thingy, then maybe I would understand it, too." /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Anonymous Poster · May 29, 2003

Cindi, I'm probably going to be in a lot of trouble here, with my 48% of the human race, for giving up top secret MALE information, but, many times, a male doesn't want to call for information because he's sure.
What he's sure of is that he knows the answer, or at least should know it, because he's seen it done a hundred times before, and now it's just a matter of finding it on the onboard hard drive.
Now, regarding the Mom expressions, "My mom used to threaten to yank off one of our limbs and beat us to death with the bloody stump. She was a little more creative than I am", did you ever consider how difficult it would be to beat you with the stump, since the stump would be the part still attached to the body? Mothers always have those expressions, and they are always flaued. I can still recall the amount of trouble I was in for getting an envelope and asking my mom for a stamp and the address the night she had made something for supper I didn't like, and she had informed me to eat it because the "poor starving children in India would be happy to have it". I was in even more trouble with the Old Man cause he saw the humor in my move and didn't dare laugh.
In defense of the male 48% of the species, I've never seen a car beside the road with a flat tire and 5 guys standing next to it with celphones to their ears consulting their friends for ideas on how to make the tire round again.

Youare · May 29, 2003

It may be a "guy" thing but all "guys" are not infected with it. I have plenty of friends who would react
the way you describe and I have several friends who have wits enough to ask for help right off. I am not
the least bit shy to ask for assistance from either male or female. I am not willing to risk damage to any
equipment or person because I am too stuborn to ask for help.

I think there are more men out there who are like that than there are men who fit your husband's
method of operation. As far as I am concerned the weaker mind has a hard time asking for help
or directions, someone who is unsure of themself and does not want any body to know they just
might not know everything. A smart person does not have to know everything, they just have to
know where the resources are, who to ask for help.

Just my two cents,
Randy

r0GuE · May 29, 2003

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif
I dare not say what I'd like right now. If I do, I'd be labeled a sexist or something. Let's just say that SOMEHOW, we silly and pathetic men have managed to do quite a lot thoughout history. Why it is socially acceptable to bash us today is beyond me, but it is. I guess we just allow it to happen because we KNOW the truth, and there is no sense argueing since it will only get in the way of the end goal.
/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

Bird · May 29, 2003

( Why it is socially acceptable to bash us today is beyond me )

For the same reason there have always been so many "dumb blonde" jokes about the female of the species, and I get more of them from my blonde daughters than anywhere else. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Gary_in_Indiana · May 29, 2003

Cindi,

I'd like to make note here that I am one who never flinches at asking for directions or help in just about any area. Even when I feel I know how to do something I'm never opposed to another view on how to go about it. Most everything I've learned in life I've learned through asking questions.

I'll go so far as to say that if you were to review my 1700 posts here and eliminated those like this (comments) and left only posts which could be classed as questions and answers, you'd find that the vast majority of my posts are questions and requests for clarifications on answers. Further, I'd bet that most of the answers I've offered here have been things I've learned here from earlier questions I've asked.

Like Rogue, I'm a bit distrubed by the common thread in media now of the lost, confused, ignorant or even outright stupid adult male. Look at your television and find a show where the adult male isn't the foil or butt of the humor. Where is the good role model? This isn't new, either. Remember Al Bundy? Archie Bunker?

Bird · May 29, 2003

( distrubed by the common thread in media now of the lost, confused, ignorant or even outright stupid adult male )

I didn't think it was anything new. Even in all the family sitcoms of the '50s, the wife was always smarter than the husband, and the kids were smarter than either parent. I do think that theme has been overworked a bit. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif Maybe that's the reason I don't watch sitcoms anymore. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

bmac · May 29, 2003

Why it is socially acceptable to bash us today is beyond me, but it is. 

I think it all started when we slipped up and gave them the right to vote.

(Just kidding, Cindi)

Anonymous Poster · May 29, 2003

Oh, no, no, no. I never once intimated that men are stupid. Absolutley not. Remember who I called for help.

Nor do I think that men are helpless. Prideful yes. Very very prideful, and of course this is where this particular issue comes into play.

Even at Jake's young age he wants to be the teacher. The one who shows how it's done, and it just galls him no end if I have to teach him something. It's okay if Fred teaches him. Just not me. It boosts his ego tremendously when he has to teach me something. Like the snake the other day.

He actually told me today not to use the tractor to mow, that he would do it because I wasn't capable, and TOOK the key, just in case I might try to do it anyway. He may be right, or that may have been a clumsy attempt at chivalry. I just smiled and said okay son, I was so afraid that it was the latter and that I would spoil it that I didn't want to argue with him. Fred has told him so many horror stories about tractor mishaps that I think he may be worried about me. Awww...